All Comments on 'Law of the Heart Ch. 02'

you can do better than that,are you thinking it look smarter.it don't look smarter, it look like a writer playing mind games.

from me until you post enough worth reading.

Will one of you who knows me , please email me after 3 or 4 more chapters so there is more than 5 minutes reading.

Thanks in advance.

Authors should know better.

The way you write you titillate my thinking and you write ver well.

The way you write you titillate my thinking and you write ver well.

But now give me more than snippets! *Looks* like it's going to be a good story.

I've been a fan of your stories for a long time. I'm glad to see some new material. This story is off to a great start. Keep it up!

At the end of Ch 2, you wrote, " All she wore other than the cap were blue bikini bottoms that rode high on a shapely ass and hips." then shortly there after the Mendoza twin she was with came up with her bikini top???? where did it come from? did she have it on until that moment in contradiction to the quote above or did it appear by magic. Hopefully you will straighten it out as you carry this further. I know what I would have done if I saw my wife in this situation, it will be interesting to see how many endings you come up with.

Your story is well written but the short chapters are very frustrating. Just when things are starting to happen your chapter ends. Why not combine several chapters into one so that your story will have more meaning to your readers.

pretty wife with rich friends and a husband who likes what he is doing without making that much money. Sure will know what will happened next.

The author is an excellent writer, but ..... Why, oh why, can't authors write a story about a husband who isn't brain dead and a wife who doesn't undress in front of strangers? In other words, a story about normal people.

I quote: "Jill had flown down to the reunion yesterday as we had planned.

At first she said that "If you can't go I won't go either."

But I had insisted, she deserved the break from "Mommy-hood" and she had been so excited about seeing our old friends."

No way!!! No husband with an ounce of intelligence lets his wife go off to a resort area (or to a party or club where alcohol is served) without him!!! Oh, he's a lawyer? Maybe that explains his stupidity.

And the wife? I don't care how much her nitwit husband insisted. She should have the sense to refuse to go without him. End of discussion. Oh crap, she's a lawyer, too.

Never mind. Dumb and dumber and slutz-r-us.

Phil

idtell her we either go home now or dont come back home and if you fucked either of these dont come hme either

As I indicated in my comment after chapter 01, sure enough, dumbo Jake borrows binoculars and sees beautiful wife making out with one of the twins. You've got to stop telegraphing your punchs, as they say in boxing. I would personally appreciate it if you would, at some future point, portray JAke as having at least half a brain. Noone can be as dumb as you've made him so far. 60 year old George

So you are leading us down the cheating wife story route. Lets see what type of ending you give us more please

a heartless cheating Cunt wife. Boring! So predictable. It would be nice if the husband had some balls in these stories. But the stories are written by faggots and Cunts so that would explain it.

but no verification. just another single page masquerading as a chapter.

Congrats. Well written. Interesting start. Four out of five. Cheers. Steve

Still five stars. Still love it. Still a favorite.

I guess she got over her mad!

Fine building of suspense, good writing.

He wasn't expecting that I'll bet.

And?

His faxination with the Mendoza brothers body.

Chapters are TOO SHORT!!!

Ok

Now what? He saw her. Continue...

Oh now this is hotting up,