All Comments on 'Learning the Rules Ch. 03'

This has been one of them! Thank you for posting and please keep the chapters rolling in. Five stars.

Turning into a fun ride/series. More please

For this to be two people that just met at a party things are developing rather fast...maybe I'm just too vanilla...romance and all that stuff.

Very nicely done - I am looking forward to your next chapter and seeing where you will take us.

This is pretty good, and has it certainly has the potential to be pretty great. The thing that I find to be distracting in this series is that while Alex and Jamie's relationship seems to be moving too quickly, the story is moving too slowly. And I don't mean that there hasn't been any action yet between the main characters. You spend A LOT of time and words describing situations to the point where I find myself thinking, "When are they finally going to stop talking about this?" For example, in the first chapter, the whole being late thing. At least half of the first page was devoted to describing that situation in some capacity. And that's a Lit page! The effect of this is that each point of what should be (for the most part) regular conversation between the characters, or something that happens in everyday life seems to be ridiculously overdramatized, like you would see in a soap opera or like the way you would expect people spoke decades ago if outraged or shocked about something that today is (again this is relative being that this is a BDSM story) considered innocuous. Another example is the seating arrangement. I'm not too sure about who would really care about that in real life, and furthermore, who would react so strongly to it.

Now again, I really like this story. This is just my two cents about something that was consistently in my head as I read this. Keep up the good work :)

please ignore the ignorance of the previous commentator.

there will be many readers who will only be able to skip lightly across the surface of your story & be incapable of appreciating the true depths of what you have written.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

I don't think there is anything wrong with pace of the story. it keeps you on the edge. at all times we (and Alex) knows there is more to come.

and as for the "they just met" scenario. he is taking her home to talk. we hope for more. but he clearly need to have a heavy discussion before he takes the relationship further

keep up the good work. i cant wait to see more of both couples

The web you spin just keeps getting more and more interesting. Leaving us with the first touch of her ass only makes me move quickly to the next chapter.

xx Matt

but I have a big problem with the timeline.

When the door to Ashley and Stephan's home closes, two things happen. (1) Jamie and Alex begin the block-long walk to his car; even if they dawdle, stopping every few steps, it can't take more than 15 minutes to reach the car.

(2) Ashley and Stephan go upstairs. She undresses, puts her clothes in the lock box, and kneels at the doorway. She waits 30 minutes. After he comes in, she spends 15 minutes sucking on his fingers. More time passes as he gathers his toys, talks with her, positions her, etc. After the punishment, they cuddle and talk. Now he finds out what other bad deeds occurred. At some point she is made to call Jamie and confess. Okay--this all takes at minimum an hour, probably closer to 90 minutes.

But Jamie receives Ashley's call just as he is approaching his car.

See my problem? I love the story, and the writing is excellent for the most part. However this is pure carelessness and should have been "fixed" before posting. Apple also needs an editor to catch word errors such as using bare when the proper word is bear and leaving the ends of word off with tenses. -- shemar

Or did anyone else think that Jamie was waaaay out of line in telling his friend how to handle his own wife/Sub? It’s widely accepted that whilst there is a general common consensus on the nature of BDSM it varies from one relationship to the next to suit those involved.

As for hearing half the conversation, if I’d heard someone I’d just met tell my friend’s husband to leave her to cry for an hour or two longer I’d have told him that Ashley was right he is a megalomaniac control freak but she missed off that he’s arrogant too, then I’d have left him to get a taxi home.

I hope it doesn't come back too soon.

I understand now the choice for the breathless-present. My critique about the sudden change using past and present stays though.

Ok, so in continuation of my comment on the last chapter, in relation to Alex needing to run: thank you for humanizing Jaimie. The rules are out there. He promised not to hurt her, emotionally. Thank you. The tension is released. Let us sally forth, once more unto the breach.