by CianPerrel
What a dork! What the hell took him so long! She was obvious enough. If he would have jumped her and ate her out that first night all would have been fine.
His sister has major problems with domination, teasing, etc. Has no feelings for her brother. He should have not been upset with her and let her get to him like that. He should have let Jimmy fuck her. why was he so set on getting his friend out of the house, to protect her?? Bad character development.
Why do so many writers say starring (Tom Cruise is starring in a movie) when they mean staring (I was staring at her)? It is a stupid distraction. OK story. Keep trying.
But you wrote it first.
Well done.
people get confused about brother/sister and STEP brother/STEP sister relationships?
STEP brother/STEP sister - there is no 'blood' connection. They have different parents!! Therefore a relationship between them is most definitely NOT 'Incest'.
It is perfectly legal for a STEP brother and a STEP sister to have a sexual relationship!!!!
What you may be confusing it with is HALF brother/HALF sister, where they do have a parent in common!!
Also - "I watched as Claudia lied there .." - I don't think she was capable of talking, let alone lying!! Possibly you meant "I watched as Claudia lay (or laid) there ..."!
Get yourself some advice from a good Editor, plus the help of a good Proof Reader!!