All Comments on 'L'il Sis Ch. 08'

Why do you write in present tense? Only rookies do that.

Katie and Keith (since he so graciously tutored Ally to seduce Ryan) and also so that Ally can get double fucked by Ry and Keith (also Katie gets dp'ed) and Hunter is ancient history, it will be nice to hear his whining ass beg to be included, and get shot down!!

Thx for making an effort to take this story in the right direction, even if it did take almost 3 pages to finally do it!!

I think you should end the story hear . we already know what's going to happen at the party .Ally will be fucking anything with a dick attached to it.

You need to drop Hunter! That dude sucks!!!

So, it turns out the other guy Ally screwed is a porn king, and he likes what he has taped in the suite so much he offers Ally and Ry a contract. They become rich and famous doing what they kove so much: fucking one another. WOW! Can they hide it from mom and dad?

Id like to see just Katie come over and let ryan have a night of fun all to himself w/o being stressed out or confused about seeing ally with another guy(s)

I really want to know what happens next

I just don't like him,something seems off with him!! I would like to see Katie and Keith in the party they planned!!! Keep up the good work with this story!!!!

Keep it going, but I agree drop hunter!!!!

This story has kept up a little twist here and there just enough to keep a reader wondering what will happen next. Good work and I believe Hunter should exit for your possible new addition as you may see fit! Thanks for the Story.

Too much repetition. The narrative is becoming thin. Its champagne, not champaign. You are misplacing pronouns (his for hers, he for she). Another chapter will likely jump the shark tank.

i definitely want to know what happens next.. and who this Mystery Voyeur is.

Of course you should continue the story. I'm afraid I have to agree though that you need to drop Hunter. Don't like that guy at all !

I love this series keep going I have cum so many times I showed someone I love this series and they love it just as much. As for who stayes its your story write it how you want, I just want to know who this person was who gave them the room. It would be funny is its a family mebmer they didn't know about and was into incest as well...... Just a though

This chapter was pretty interesting but you should definitely lay off repeating words. It seems like every other word they say is Christ & it's very annoying.

Chapter 8 was great.if u continue the story don't bring back Hunter.

i thought Hunter was going to do some BI stuff! ideas?

Keep it up. I think you should drop hunter though

you should definitely keep it going. i dont care whos in the story just keep it coming please!!

Love the story, although i think you should play on Ry's jealousy more! As he clearly has mixed feelings!

But please stop having them say they love each other and Christ every other sentence. We know they love each other, but having them say " I love you" that many times is just too much. Also them saying Christ ALL THE TIME is getting really really really annoying.

I also agree with the dropping of hunter.

Love the stories!

Katie and Keith but we want to know whos watching also

Great story more please, Everyone at the party would be great, and who is watching

There are so many ways this might turn, it's almost a mystery/thriller. PLEASE WRITE ON !!!!

Continue the story but please don't turn her into a total slut. Also is weed necessary in every chapter and accounting for the majority of the sex scenes?

I wanna know who is watching them. Keep it up and ignore the negative comments!

Kate and Keith, love to find out who is watching them, perhaps during the party their parents come home early and join in the fun or a neighbour

i love! This story! I wait for every new entry :) i loved the secret watch that was very creative! I think everyone but the friend of hunters or the parents should be involved. We dont want to many characters there are already alot. But i love this story!

i honestly cant wait to find out what happens next

Great story! Everyone but Hunter's friend should come to the party. Ryan needs to learn to share. So, maybe he can fuck all the women while Ally has fun with Hunter and Keith. Then, they can have a discussion with Katie and Keith about sharing their love. Then have a general orgy to end the chapter.

Great story dont EVER stop writing

I am enjoying the exploits twists and turns of your story, very creative, well writen so please carry on with many more chapters.

With thanks