Lisa Ch. 05b: Only Human cont

"Okay." Jessica said. "But you hit him pretty hard Josh. Can I please go and see if his head is okay?"

"That's Scott's call, not mine." Josh replied.

Jessica tried to look over her shoulder at Scott, but couldn't see his face.

"Scott, please?"

"Not until Jim explains himself. And then you explain yourself. You're not exactly innocent in all of this Jessica ... you went out of your way to speak to them."

"That's just because you were so rude!" Jessica bellowed, forgetting to be concerned about the anger in Scott's voice.

"What?" all three men said in unison.

"Geez, have you no social skills at all?" Jessica demanded. "You were completely inhospitable! You can't just snap at people, holy cow!"

"You spoke to them because you thought we were being rude?" Scott asked in complete disbelief.

"We could have blown them all away." Josh said. "I'd say that in comparison we were down right civil."

"That would've been lovely." Jim said. "A blood bath ... really inconspicuous."

"And so your solution was to introduce them to Jessica?" Josh asked.

"Let me ask you something Josh," Jim said forgetting about his head for the moment and stalking toward Josh. "Which do you think is better. Our friends make it home, tell their friends all about our encounter and say ... 'Well, there were four of them. Two of them were very rude," and he gestured wildly at Scott and Josh, "one was really quiet," he pointed at himself, "and then the girl was nice. Also an excellent shot ... she killed both dogs." Or .... "There's something seriously wrong with our neighbors. They practically shot us, ran us off their land, and they kept hiding someone from us. It looked like a girl. Maybe we should get the sheriff to come up and check them out. Well?" He demanded.

"You introduced her to make us seem more normal?" Josh asked. He couldn't have looked more surprised than if Jim had said that he was actually a woman.

"Holy shit!" Scott said in awe. To him there hadn't been any option other than to fight. It seemed so black and white. But clearly Jim was far smarter than he ever gave him credit for. Scott looked at him in a whole new light. Jim was likely as tactically smart if not smarter than Riley. He couldn't believe it.

Josh had reached the same conclusion. He bowed his head as shame washed over him. "I'm sorry man ..." he said. "Here, take the rifle," he said handing it over to him, "crack me on the head. I deserve it."

"Forget it Josh, I don't want to hit you."

Josh slid his eyes over to Jessica who still hung from Scott's grasp ... looking at Jim like he was about to break. "I'm sorry Jess. You must think I'm a real jerk."

Scott let Jessica down and she ran over to Jim and began feeling his head.

"I don't think you're a jerk Josh," Jessica replied, "but you should never ever turn on each other like that. There can't possibly be a reason good enough for that!"

Josh felt like the biggest heel in the world.

"I'm okay Jess, really." Jim said as she fawned over him. "But, out of curiosity, how did the first interaction you've had with the outside world, in years, feel?"

"Christ ..." Scott murmured as he looked over at Jessica. He saw Josh wince also. Of course ... Jim had just proven that Jessica was telling the truth about not running away. She could have screamed bloody murder ... begged for help. But she didn't.

Jim was a real piece of work.

Jessica seemed taken aback as well.

"I guess that's true." She said leaning back and staring at Jim. "It was okay ... I was too busy being embarrassed by Josh and Scott's rudeness ..." she said glancing from Scott to Josh, a smile developing on her face. "Next time ... please, let me do the talking." She giggled.

'Next time,' the words reverberated in Scott's head. His first response should have been asserting the fact that there wouldn't be a next time. But he wasn't sure about anything anymore.

"Next time?" Josh said with a laugh, "Honey, there ain't going to be a next ..."

"Josh." Jim interrupted. He shook his head when Josh looked over at him. "Never say never."

Jessica looked from Jim, to Josh, to Scott and realization set in and with it excitement. "Do you mean it? Could I see those men again? Do you think there are any women in their family?"

"Whoa, whoa Jess." Jim said holding his hands up, "Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. We still have Riley and Angus to deal with. I'm just saying that it may not be a bad idea to give these two," he nodded his head at Scott and Josh, "some social lessons. You know, just in case."

"Oh fuck off." Scott muttered annoyed that he, the most social of the five of them had given Jessica such a bad first impression. He watched a flurry of emotions cross Jessica's face as she recovered from the disappointment of not getting the friends she'd hoped for out of the neighbors. And as Jessica finally seemed to accept the situation, he had an epiphany. A kaleidoscope of images flashed through his mind. Jessica riding the horses full speed, shaking hands with the neighbors, looking excited about the prospect of having friends, and then accepting the fact that it wasn't going to happen ... but it could. It could happen and Scott knew how. He was so astounded by the idea, it was so radical by his standards that he could only gape in wonder . He had to run it by Jim and Josh, get their buy in. Jessica giggled uncontrollably snapping Scott out of his daze. He surmised that Jessica had misinterpreted his reaction as one of pretend anger because she was rolling her eyes up at him in the same shy way she did in the bedroom when he was trying to be funny.

"Maybe we'll have to look at some magazines on manners ..." she said between giggles.

Scott wiggled his eyebrows at her in an exaggerated sexual leer, now that he had a plan for her, he could easily play his reaction up as mock anger. "Lots of role play possibilities." He agreed causing Jessica's cheeks to flame a deep pink as she giggled harder.

Josh wished this whole encounter with their neighbors hadn't happened but since it had he was willing to let Jim take the lead on the next steps. Jessica seemed to be past the fact that he'd struck Jim and that was all he really cared about. "Are we going to fix that damn fence or not?" Josh demanded eager to finish the work and head back to the house. He had some updates he wanted to make to his comic. Marriage and unexpectedly crossing paths with their neighbors had to be processed via his story. It was the only way he knew how.

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"Amazing!" Josh stated as Jessica finished off a whole song on the drums.

They had finished the fence, had dinner, setup the instruments, and been playing for the past few hours.

"I don't get it though." Scott said, flipping through the song book Jim had told them to pick up. "These songs are new ... practically brand new. How can you know them so well, even by ear?"

"That's actually my fault." Jim said, deciding that it was time to come clean. He felt bad about having kept his secret for this long already.

"That's it!" Josh said, snapping his fingers and pointing at him. "You've been listening to the radio ... when Jess is with you. Right?"

"Close." Jim said. "I actually have a T.V. in my room. We've been watching music videos."

"You're pulling my fucking leg!" Scott replied. He looked from Jim to Jessica.

Jessica was shaking her head.

"A T.V.?" Josh asked. "A fucking T.V! How long have you been watching it?" He demanded glaring at Jessica.

"A long time ..." she answered taken aback by how angry Josh seemed.

"About six months" Jim added. "I asked Jessica to keep it a secret for me." Jim continued. "I've had this T.V. forever. Even before Jessica came here."

"So why are you telling us now?" Josh asked, the smoldering anger and a sense of betrayal evident in his voice.

"Because, I don't want to have secrets from you. Not even Angus and Riley, though that'll take longer to be honest with them... look I'm sorry okay?" Jim added.

"That explains a lot." Scott said, his eyes fixed on Jessica.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jim asked.

"That means ..." Scott began, swinging his gaze over to Jim, anger clouding over his face, "now I understand why you were always her favorite one. The rest of us were busy making her pay for what her parents did to us, and you were busy making life comfy and fun for her with the god damn T.V!"

"It takes a hell of a lot more than a fucking T.V. to make up for what we did to her." Jim exclaimed. "And I think you are reading way more into this than there really is!"

"Really?" Josh said. "So you think we were misreading Jessica when she would look at you like you were a saint and look at us like we were evil incarnate? You think we misread little things like the way she always moved closer to you when there was any chance of trouble, coming to you for shelter ... protection? Sort of like she's doing now?"

Jessica froze. She looked at Jim and he looked at her. It was true ... she had subconsciously been moving closer to Jim. The look on Scott's and Josh's faces made her stomach twist. They were in pain. Emotional pain, and she had caused it. And she didn't know how to make it better. What they said was true. Jim was her favorite ... at least until recently. But for so many better reasons than the T.V.

"It ..." Jessica began, not really sure how to say what she had to say without causing any more pain. "It has nothing to do with the T.V." she managed.

"So, what does it have to do with then?" Josh asked.

Jessica paused. Honesty right? That was what Jim had said Angus and Riley would need. And she really wanted to be honest with Scott and Josh ... but her instincts told her that it would cause more damage than good. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, Scott and Josh were still watching her ... waiting.

"Jim has always tried to help me." She began.

Scott and Josh scowled at Jim.

"Not in any way that would make you look bad ..." she rushed the words. "He was just a lot more gentle. He always explained things ... why things were the way they were ... what you wanted from me. It just helped. That's all."

Josh zeroed in on the word 'gentle' and groaned. He was quite certain that Jim had not kicked off his nights with her with a good old fashioned rape. He sighed. They had him ... right there they had him. No matter what Jim did or didn't do ... nothing could undo what Josh had done to Jessica. He relaxed his stance, lowered his eyes.

"Jessica, I guess I never really apologized for what I did to you." He began. Jessica, Jim and Scott looked at Josh, surprised by his demeanor; he looked like he'd deflated. He sounded wrong ... broken. Jim and Scott slid their eyes over to Jessica for some indication of what Josh was talking about but she looked as taken off guard as they were.

"Since we're airing secrets ..." Josh said looking up, at Jim and then Scott. It suddenly became important to Josh to tell them about his rape not only of Jessica but of Paula too. "I did something awful to Jessica. The first night that we were supposed to ... to have sex with her ... I couldn't control myself. I raped her." He lowered his eyes for only a moment ... and then raised them again. The only one who looked distraught was Jessica. Josh's tone and body language both indicated that he was a destroyed man and Jessica couldn't understand what had happened to change him like that so suddenly. Neither Scott or Jim looked shocked by his revelation at all.

"That was kind of what we were supposed to do." Jim said, softly. "That had been the plan ... Riley's orders."

"Those might have been the orders ..." Scott interrupted, "But we didn't necessarily all follow them that way. Josh you may have raped Jessica, but I didn't, and she looked at me the same way she looked at you. But not Jim. She never looked at you like that!" he said to Jim.

"She didn't look at me like that because I didn't follow orders." Jim said.

"What?" Scott thundered.

"You heard me. I never had sex with Jessica. I couldn't. She was more like a little sister to me than a sex object."

"You've never had sex with her?" Scott asked in shock, looking back and forth between Jim and Jessica. Josh was looking at Jim like he truly was some kind of God.

Jim shook his head. "I have had sex with Jessica ... but only recently. In the last few weeks."

"What changed?" Scott couldn't help but ask. "All these years you haven't ... done it with her ... and then in the past few weeks ...? What happened? Finally realize that all this time we were trying to get things going with Jessica your refusal to play along might have been slowing down our progress? Fuck Jim, all this time I thought it was Angus and Riley but maybe the problem all along was you!"

Jim shrugged unable to argue. He hadn't looked at it like that before but he could see how Scott and Josh could think that was true.

"No!" Jessica said a note of hysteria in her voice as she looked between Scott and Josh, "I wanted him ..." Jessica said. "He didn't want to ... I made him."

"You made him fuck you?" Scott demanded jealousy overwhelming him. "That's even worse. Tell me again how's he's not your favorite."

"It's not entirely true ..." Jim broke in, "You didn't make me Jessica ... you just convinced me that I wouldn't be hurting you by doing it."

"Please don't look like that ..." Jessica said, glancing between Josh and Scott. Both alternating between looking incredibly angry and incredibly hurt. "It's true that I didn't want you in the beginning. None of you ... including Jim ... not that way. But now ... now I do. Scott, you did that. You made it enjoyable for me. You were the first one I wanted to touch me, or to touch. You were the first one I wanted to have sex with. I'm sorry if you think I love Jim more than you ... but it's not true. It's just that we've been friends longer ... I'm more sure of what to expect from him."

"So, how long have we been friends?" Scott asked. Certain that the answer would be never. Having heard that he'd been the first Jessica had wanted sexually had gone a long way in diminishing his anger, hurt and jealousy. Now he just wanted the whole package. He wanted to be Jessica's lover and her friend. He no longer begrudged Jim this but he wanted it too. Wanted to be equal.

"Since the night that you showed me how to ... to enjoy myself. You've been different since then. And maybe I've been different since then. I don't know. But didn't you feel a change too?"

"Holy shit ..." Scott said, exhaling. He'd felt it too. "Okay Jessica. I understand now. I won't lie and say that I don't wish we could have been friends earlier ... I think I was trying just as hard then. But if we've just started being friends, then that's okay. As long as we are."

"And when do we begin being friends?" Josh asked. He felt like shit because he knew he had no right to ask anything of her but he couldn't help himself. He needed her.

"We already did." Jessica said, surprised that he didn't know.

Josh flashed his eyes up to hers ...he didn't look convinced.

"The first night you slept on the floor Josh. That meant a lot to me."

Josh nodded. Jim and Scott, looked confused. "I was raping her at night, in my sleep." He said feeling the urge to expose the horrible creature that he was. "I didn't know it ... but when Jessica told me ... I began sleeping on the floor."

Scott pushed air through his teeth ...

"You've been through a lot Jess." He said, "I guess I'm glad one of us was able to keep our paws off of you." He continued, turning to Jim, he stuck his hand out. Jim smiled with relief and took it, they shook.

Josh stepped forward and offered his hand. When Jim took it, Josh held it firmly, debating whether to go one step further and make the other confession he'd intended to make about Paula but then Jim said, "I'm glad we got this out in the open. We have to be on the same page. We still have Riley and Angus to ..."

"Convert?" Scott asked.

"I was going to say persuade." Jim said with a chuckle.

Josh let go of Jim's hand. Now was not the time. If they were going to go up against Riley and Angus Jim couldn't be diverted by the hatred and repulsion he would feel toward Josh when he found out.

" I don't suppose there's any way I could convince you to change your night with me?" Scott asked Jim, settling his eyes on Jessica wanting nothing more than to dominate the shit out of her for what happened with the neighbors and the TV watching.

"Not a chance." Jim replied, reaching out and pulling Jessica to his side.

"In that case," Scott said, not surprised that Jim wouldn't switch, "could Josh and I borrow your T.V? I haven't watched anything in ages."

"Of course." Jim said, moving toward his room, pulling Jessica with him. "Go shower Jess."

"Okay ... " she broke free of Jim and went to Scott and Josh, giving each a kiss and saying good night. Josh still seemed broken. She felt as though she should say something to make him feel better but she couldn't think of what. What he'd done to her had been horrible. There was no way to sugar coat it. But he managed a small smile as he kissed her goodnight so Jessica took that as a good sign and continued on to the bathroom for her shower.

"Actually Jim," Scott said, watching Jessica disappear. "Before you go. I have an idea I want to run by you."

"Sure."

Jessica was reading in bed when Jim finally finished his conversation with Scott ... and Josh. Though Josh didn't really speak ... just sat with his mouth gaping open.

"Is everything okay?" Jessica asked as Jim crawled into bed beside her.

"Everything is better than okay ..." he said kissing her, and then kissing her neck.

It truly was. Somehow things had snapped into place and were going into hyper drive on their own. Scott had come up with a plan that Jim would never have even dreamed of, and it was good. Jessica would love it ... and Jim planned on leaving it to Scott to tell her. The only issue now would be how they were going to deal with Angus and Riley. Jim shuddered ... he wasn't sure how that was going to go.

Jessica had put her book down and was turned in to Jim now, kissing him back with such intensity that Jim had no trouble pushing Riley and Angus from his mind.

As usual, Jessica was on fast forward while Jim was on slow speed. He had to work hard at slowing her down and after what seemed an eternity to Jessica but had actually only been half an hour, Jim was done exploring her and was willing to let her have her way. And she'd taken him as hard as she usually did. They lay panting in one another's arms. Jim couldn't stop running his hands over her body. Up and down, her arms, her legs, her stomach, her breasts. Constant caressing.

"You're amazing ... aren't you exhausted? Today was crazy with the dogs, the neighbors, Josh and Scott and the damn TV." Jim said, as Jessica turned to him, ready to go at it again.

"It was long ... you're right." She said. "But if you insist on rubbing me constantly, you can't be surprised when I want you again ..." she was nibbling his lower lip, running her hands up and down the shaft of his penis.

"So it's my fault?" he asked, rolling her on to her back, pinning her arms above her head.

"Of course ..." she said, panting.

"Well then ... you're going to have to suffer through doing this my way, again ..." Jim said grasping her wrists in his left hand, and moving his right hand down between their bodies. Jessica groaned.

"Why can't I explore you?" she asked squirming beneath him. The desire was too strong ... she couldn't take Jim's slow and methodical probing.

"Because Jessica ..." Jim said stroking in a circle around the soft pubic hair that brushed against his abdomen, "you'd eat me alive. Besides ... you're more of a wham bam, thank you sir kind of girl ... I'd be left feeling cheap ... used." He added with a chuckle.