All Comments on 'Little Love Song'

It was an excellent story. You captured the emotions beautifully and of course the sex scene was red hot! Well done V !!

You captured the transition from married to single and then to a new younger interest very well. It's a journey fraught with perils, mostly of your own making. Especially for older people who were married for long periods.

Once again you have taken me away with your words! Great job Vermilion, now get on with the next one!

lol

C

and I enjoyed it very much. I liked the way Val's character evolved through it. Two very minor points . . . I would have liked Martin to see his wife & her lover together for at least some small measure of revenge . . . and, I believe the common phrase is "Je ne sais quoi" or "Je ne sais pas que". No matter! Thanks for the time, energy and talent you put into entertaining your readers.

Not a new theme, but very erotic and romantic. Great pacing. I was on the edge of thinking "too slow" a couple of times, but always found myself thinking, no, the background is unfolding just right and the transitions are expertly done. I thought the "I want to make love to you" was a little cliched and "late"--they'd been making love for paragraphs already. But that's the only glitch I saw--beyond the initial problem with "what language are they talking to each other in when this isn't signaled and her dialogue is English smattered with some French?"--and if he and Val's friend communicated to each other later without Val there to translate. Discerning readers will, I think, find this strong competition for the Valentine's Day contest if they are looking for the intersection of romance, eroticism, and good storytelling and writing.

Very good, you captured Val in all her wants and doubts - great job!

You brought the music of the night of love to life!

You already know I loved this one. Love the life in the characters, and the opportunity to get to know them.

I loved the slow build up, the building of tension--it made it so much more believable that something like that could really happen. I've never read anything of yours before--and now I'm wondering why! I'm off to find more... :)

The way he slowly, naturally worked with her, and her fears melted in his presence, it was pure poetry.

Wonderfully well done!

Really enjoyed the slow build up. The sexual tension...very well done!

I loved the story. The pace was slow but steady as it built to a climax -- just like the passion in the story steadily built from flirting to some hot sex. A tremendous effort and I wish you luck with it in the contest -- it should do very well.

Simply and purely beautiful, Millie. :)

It's good to see that your characters weren't all perfect 10, with perfect bodies and perfect lives. You've captured the essence of a woman left for another woman and her insecurities.

Bravo!

I agree...I would love for Martin and Donna to have seen Valerie and Edward...and frankly, I would love for you to have dispensed with the birth control and had her get pregnant.

I am so glad to have come and read this... You did very very well with what it feels like for a woman to be dumped - and discover other painful things occuring in what was to have been her life... The nerves and desire that flood when encountering her first lover in years was touching and poignant. And the sex... Rock on baby - Rock on... Hehehe... Probably one of the few who arent internationally traveled who knew what creche meant! LOL Great Job and Good Luck in the Contest

I really enjoyed the story. Well done.

Your writing is so articulate and you made both characters believeable. I especially like the way you handled the erotic elements: great build-up and a great mix of graphic and poetic description. Thanks for the read. :-)

A great build up and a sweet conclusion.

Good luck in the contest!

Maharat

Beautifully written. Good luck with the contest.

You really brought the emotion through to the reader - capturing the insecurity, excitement and sexual tension perfectly. Great story! Beautifully written!

Raven

Lovely story....... not crass at all..... very sensuous

Author, This was my first read of your work. Completely enjoyed the story, characters and plot. Loved the nuance of older women and younger man being in love/lust. Thank you for the enjoyable journey and completion. Will look forward to reading more of your work. A strong five for this gem. jntiques

Emelia...... thank you for a wonderful short story. Pain, loss, insecurity, need, support, fear, excitement, patience, courage, passion.....all in 3 pages. This would make a wonderful play script! Unlike so many of the stories on literotica that jump right into lurid sex and are fine for mere sexual release, this one shows many of the deeper aspects and awkwardness that is often a part of human interaction. I also like the age disparity. There can be a gulf between generations that is unfortunate. We are all lost souls. Our age is most often of unimportance. We all have need, have lost, have been hurt. To feel completed, even for a moment, is an invaluable gift. Thank my dear Emilia. Please continue!

Hot and interesting. Not too long. Well written. I enjoyed the French dialogue and the added aspect of fraud!