Living as Four Bodies and One Mind

It is difficult to describe my anger. I was confused as well.. Because wasn't really having a lot of sex with her.. While I couldn't wait to get the pants of some of the girls in the office. In other words, while I spent all my time fantasizing about how other girls would look and feel like, I realized with a jolt that I was trembling with anger at this apparent betrayal.

Thankfully, I had got my emotions under control.. And as if reading my mind, Shoma said, when I came back home that her aunt had taken ill and she had been on the phone with her.

Now, about a month later, I was driving back with my wife in the backseat with my friend, and I was busy cracking jokes and making everyone laugh.

Had I changed fundamentally, I wondered.. Perhaps I had, because the innate feeling I had for Sara was now full-blown, giddy, hormone-infused 'love feeling'.

Then I realized that the anger I felt was from a sense of betrayal.. I felt angry because my wife had apparently made a fool of me, and I felt cheated. I was angry at myself, for letting someone cheat me like that, for being a fool.. And I wanted to destroy the relationship in my anger, to take revenge.

Now, it was a different issue -- this was happening under my supervision. There was no cheating involved. The other person was my friend. Of course, I did feel jealous, but the fact that I was getting someone else in return made me put up with the feeling of jealousy.

When we reached our home in Bangalore, I realized how much we'd both changed. Instead of arguing and fighting as usual, we were both smiling a lot.. Shama was like a totally different person. Earlier, she would be irritable -- always on my case -- "you didn't do this, you didn't put the toilet seat back up, why can't you take water without spilling it all over, why don't you hang your clothes on the rack instead of throwing it around.."

Now she was a totally different person.. She seemed eager to show her love for me.. She wanted to make sure I was comforable.. "I'll get it for you" she said, when I said I was going to get some water. I was surprised, earlier she would say "Go and get it, you are not handicapped" or something, or grudgingly oblige, if I asked her to fetch a glass of water for me.

Here she was jumping up to get water for me, even without asking. She was overflowing with happiness.. Like a teenager in love.. Her eyes were happy and sprightly, her lips were forever smiling.. And she was even singing to herself.. She didn't seem to realize that she was showing all this emotion.

I saw all this with a pang of jealousy.. I mean, what did Appu do to her to make her so happy? Did she find true love in Appu? Was I a loser? Well, almost.. Because I didn't have time to dwell on such thoughts.. I thought of Sara, what she would be doing now.. Whether she too would be happy like Shama..

In the evening, Appu called.. I made some chit chat.. Shama realized Appu was on the phone and came out of the kitchen, where she was washing dishes, to see what was going on. I realized Appu was feeling awkward about the conversation.. He's never called me in the evening before.. So I said "here, talk to Shama" and gave the phone to her..

Shama took it with undisguised happiness, like a young child who is given candy.. And said "Hi" with so much emotion, I was surprised that she could talk in such a husky voice.. She walked into the kitched, and spoke in low tones, but mostly in short sentences or phrases.. Obviously Appu was trying to make conversation and Shama was not very good at maintaining it. After about a minute and half, they hung up.. Perhaps they didn't know what to say.. Perhaps they didn't know what to say when I was there.

I was kind of feeling happy for Shama.. A happy Shama is a totally different person, I realized. Life with a happy Shama was feeling very nice. The old Shama was bitter, always complaining, insecure and suspicious. The new Shama was effervescent, bubbly and smiley smiley..

I was tired, so I headed off to sleep.. And she came soon after, smiling.. She seemed to have sex on her mind as she climbed in.. But for some reason, I said "I am tired today.. Let's go to sleep." Perhaps I wanted her to sleep with Appu on her mind.. Or perhaps I was slightly jealous that Appu had made her so happy, while she was always bitter when living with me. I was tired too, from the long drive back.

Next day, I pinged Appu from office, and we met to take stock of the 'latest developments.'

"So, howz it going," he said.

"Good.. Actually things have worked out better than I expected.."

"Yeah.. I mean, I didn't think this is how it would turn out.. To be frank," he said.

"Yeah, me too.. I mean, this was pretty neat," I said, in a semi serious tone.

In fact, Appu was surprised by the tone of voice, and he looked at me with a solemn expression.

"Are you having second thoughts?" he asked, suddenly turning serious.

"Not really.. I mean.. But I think Shama's getting too involved emotionally," I said.

"So is Sara.. I mean, she's got you on her mind.."

"I know.. But Sara's different.. She's sophisticated, a working woman.. She's probably had a love affair or two before you.. I mean, she's not someone I would worry about."

"Then?"

"It's Shama.. The thing is, she's had a conservative upbringing.. And is very conservative.."

"Yes.."

"So, the thing is, I am not sure if she can keep her emotions under control.. What if she gets so attached to you that she wants to divorce me, and expects you to divorce Sara and marry her?"

Now, the Appu's face had become full of concern, so I said: "I am not saying that is what's going to happen, but that's a possibility that we'd be foolish not to consider."

"Yeah.. I mean, I don't want this to end up in a sticky situation.. I love Sara, you know that.. I won't give her up for anything," he said.

"Sure.. But we must make sure we know what we're getting into.. Women can't separate love and sex.. For them, both go together.. I mean there are only a small portion of women who can enjoy sex and not develop feelings of love and possessiveness along with it."

"Hmm.."

"With people like Shama, who are essentially inexperienced in matters of love, there is a chance that she might get very serious."

"Yeah.. I don't want that.. I won't ditch Sara," Appu said.

"I thought of what can be done, and I hit upon an idea," I said. "The idea is to basically not have secrets to ourselves."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"What I mean is, don't call her when I am not there.. Don't have one-on-ones with her. Let's make a rule that whatever messages or emails or calls we make involving the other person's wife, will include all four of us.. That way, we will have our common memories to share.. Instead of private memories.. That way, I am always part of her experiences.. And you are always part of your wife's experiences," I said.

Appu looked more relieved now.

"I mean, initially.." I added, "untill we are sure Shama can be relied upon to keep her emotions under control."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," I said.

"So I'll tell her about the new arrangement, so that she won't wonder why you haven't called her," I said.

"Ok, I'll tell Sara too."

I wasn't actually interested in hearing what Appu was telling my wife on the phone. As far as I was concerned, he could totally impress her and win her over. But I was concerned about my child. I didn't want this end in a divorce because we all tried to have some fun.

Personally, and in private, I knew that Sara was a better life partner for me than my own wife.. She was more fun to be with, more intelligent and generally we seemed to have more in common. But I loved my son so much that the thought of divorce would never find acceptance in my life.

I also knew that after the initial hormones wore off, Sara may turn out to be just like my wife.

This restriction of private interaction was supposed to have two effects -- one was what I told Appu about -- the fact that I wanted all four of us to enjoy this thing together, and I didn't want the experiment to destroy or lessen my friendship with Appu, or my marriage.

The second reason was that life had taught me that some things are better enjoyed slowly, with resistance. Obstacles added to the enjoyment, and this restriction would also add to the overall experience, I reasoned.

In addition, though the thought of Sara would turn me on, and possibly talking to her, even on the phone, would give me a hard on, I didn't want the whole "why didn't you call today" argument with her.

That is exactly the sort of thing that me and Shama have arguments over. "You don't love me.. You didn't call me from office today.. You don't enjoy spending time with me.. You don't listen when I talk.. You don't talk to me much nowadays..," the list of complaints was never ending.

I mean, one wife was more than I could handle, I didn't want another one. I know lots of guys who 'maintain' more than one lover, juggling calls and attention. But I seriously had had enough of the demands of females for constant attention, complaints and nagging.

The thing that made Sara attractive was the fact that, right now, there were no demands and no expectations. She did not expect me to call from the office to check on her, nor did she expect me to make small talk with her.

And I could still have great sex with her.

I didn't want to change this, even though I was strongly tempted to call her.. I knew I would call her, and then she would expect it everyday. By setting a rule like this, I reasoned, I didn't risk going by from one unbearable wife to two.

I was useless to try to convince Appu of the same.. Because I suspected that Appu actually enjoyed speaking with Sara. He was, in many ways, more of a ladies man than I was.. I was also pretty sure that he might break the understanding we had just reached now and then.

Let him learn from experience, if he breaks it, I thought. It was not easy to fulfill Shama's demands.. And if he felt up to it, he was welcome to try. After all, it would lessen the load on me.

And meanwhile, the understanding would keep Sara from expecting too much as well. Perhaps I was being too selfish, and I should not see love as a duty and burden. But the fact is, my drive was primarily sex.. And my 'love' episode would probably last a maximum of 1 or 2 months. I was looking at this as a near permanent arrangement -- and wanted it to be stable and sustainable.

I mean -- it was only after marriage that I realized that women can be so demanding. Giving Shama something to think about gave me space -- to do my work, to sleep peacefully, and to not fight with her.

In addition, I wanted the thing to be a four-way relationship, involving Appu and my wife as well. 'We' was more important than 'us' or 'me'. Instead of a narrow concept of love, I was looking for a broader concept of love -- where me and Appu could both claim equal rights over Shama and Sara, and when I felt like, I could have sex with Sara, even in front of Appu, and with Shama, whether or not Appu and Sara were in the same room or not. Similarly, I could watch Sara get bitten by Appu and watch their plays and games, right in front of me. I wanted to break the boundaries that society had placed in between us.

In the coming days, I would learn whether my calculations were correct or not.

Living as four bodies and one mind - a tale of love and wife swapping PART 14 As I drove back home, I felt a little guilty at what I'd done. I mean, at the back of my mind, I knew that I was being unreasonable. As a wise man once said, men give love to get sex, and women give sex to get love.

Priorities differ. For me, the physical aspect was more important, and for the two women in the group, the feeling of attention and the feeling that they were needed (and someone considered them beautiful) was perhaps more important. By putting a condition that the relationship should be kept on a physical plane only, I knew, I was being selfish.

But also at the back of my mind, I knew it was almost impossible to keep it that way.

The first day after being back from the holiday had passed relatively quietly and without incident. Sara had pinged me, and unfortunately, I was extremely busy at work at the moment. So it was more or less just a 'hi, how are you..' sort of conversation. I hoped Appu would have the required conversation with her today evening.

I reached home to find Shama engrossed in her daily soaps. To my surprise, she was wearing a t-shirt and a knit cotton pant we had bought at a sale almost a year ago.

After the purchase, she had steadfastly refused to wear them, saying that she didn't want to wear skin tight clothes.

Being from the village, she was uncomfortable even with tight salwars. She never wore anything other than salwars and 'nighties' -- a long burqa-like dress that mercifully did not cover the face.

She seemed engrossed in her serial, and I proceeded to check out if there was something worthwhile in the fridge. She would get up only at 8:30, when her favorite serials ended. The kid was laid next to her on the sofa.

"How was the day," she asked. "Fine," I said, slightly surprised that she'd was not totally engrossed in the TV.

"Want dinner?" I was surprised again.

"Yeah.. I am kind of hungry," I said, putting down the dairy milk bar on the dinner table.

"Ok, wash up and get changed," she said, getting up with the obvious intention of heading for the kitched.

I was odd, I thought. It was only 7:30 and we normally have dinner only by about 9.

Looking at her, I realized why she thought tight clothes were 'too sexy' for her. Unlike Sara, Shama had a well-endowed body. Her hips were wide and her buttocks were big, but not big like you see on some aunties. She was not fat -- her's was an average figure, with a little bit of baby fat, especially on the face -- making her cheeks look a little big.

But her body was well proportioned. Her butts had tendency to 'hang' down a bit - or probably that was their shape. In the thin cotton dress that clung to her, it was looking like she was wearing nothing at all.

The outline of her ass was very clear and they were pretty big, I noted. Of course I'd seen her naked lots of times, but I had never been able to compare because I hadn't seen many girls naked anyway.

I was more used to checking out ass when they were housed in pants, or jeans, or at least a tight salwar-kameez.

Now, for the first time, I could make an apple-to-apple comparison -- and she was large and shapely, and I suddenly felt a tinge of pride. I mean, since Sara always wore jeans, I could see how big (or small) hers were, and Shama definitely had the more shapely, and more feminine ass of the two.

I could see that she was abashed, particularly as she saw me checking her out.

"Are they bad?" she asked.

"I thought I would wear them indoors, since we've bought them anyway," she went on, without waiting for me to answer.

"No, they're good. You look good," I said, trying not to show much interest. I knew that she would get self-conscious if I acted like the pant was showing off her assets in a big way.

I realized she was wearing her normal, cup-bra under the t-shirt. The wrinkles in the bra-cups were easily visible under the pink t-shirt.

Her boobs were pretty small when I 'got' them more than three years ago. Credit for the current enlarged size goes to my son. They were pretty big now, I thought. Perhaps her bra was not right, I thought.

With these thoughts, I went and had a wash, changed and came to the dinner table.

She seemed a little restless as she sat with me and had her food. "Am I looking fat, Sometta?" she asked with a worried expression, laying down the rice server.

"Whoever told you that?" I said, turning my attention to serving the food.

"Lathika was saying that I should cut down on food now.. Otherwise I will keep gaining weight," she said, referring to the woman next door. Apparently, she had convinced her that unless women who have given birth recently watch their food, their figures would get totally out of shape.

"No, you look fine right now," I assured her.

After dinner, Shama turned off the TV and turned her attention to the kid, to try to get him to sleep, while I picked up the day's newspaper.

"I am feeling sleepy.. Do you wanna sleep?" she asked after about 15 minutes. She had put the kid to sleep, but the time was barely 9. We rarely slept before 10:30.

"Hm.. Ok, I'll be there," I said.

"Ok, don't just say that sit here for another two hours," she warned with mock anger and went in.

I followed her in after five minutes. She had already got her t-shirt off and was waiting for me in her bra and the grey pant.

I took off my shirt and laid myself next to her as she took me in her arms. It was not everyday that she would 'initiate the proceedings'. Normally, I would be the one to do anything, since more or less, sex depended on whether I was horny or not.

Mostly, she would turn towards the kid and start going to sleep.

I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I noticed a distinct smell of sweat as she tightened her hold over me. She would smell like that only on days that she hadn't bathed, and there were only one or two such days since we got married.

Anyway, I didn't have much time for thoughts, as she was going all aggressive over me, even as I was still trying to match up. She seemed in a hurry and I thought she was trying to chew my lips off me after getting on top.

I was also turned on by seeing her 'spirit', and we made love like we had never done before. Her pussy was wet within a minute, and I was able to get my not so small rod right up into her in the first thrust. I had forgotten the last time I was able to do that. Normally, I would have to push it in bit by bit, waiting for her pussy to release juices.

Today, it went right in, smooth as butter, and judging by her exclamation of 'ha', she enjoyed it as much as I did. She did not let go of my lips, and was sucking my saliva out of my mouth while I valiantly tried to keep up with her.

I realized what 'female excitement' really meant. In all our married life, she had never shown this kind of aggression. Early on, she must have held back because girls are not supposed to show it, and lately, both of us had lost much of our interest in sex - at least, with each other.

She was riding to and fro now. That's what she does - not up and down, but to and fro. Only her hips actually moved. When they moved forward, my dick would ride right in, and she pushed at the end, trying to get even more in. Of course, there was nothing more left of my dick of course -- all 6-7 inches were already inside her.

And she would move her hips in a wave-like fashion - rhythmically, pulsating and struggling to get as much of me inside her as she could. I have seen women sort of bounce up and down on their partners in porn movies, but Shama didn't need to life herself at all to ride the length of my rod with her wet pussy.

All she needed to do was move her hips back and forth.. I tried not to spurt too soon by holding back.. I tried to think of other things, so that I won't spew my seed too fast. But she was going at it like there was no tomorrow, and was making noises, and calling my name 'Sometta.. Umm.. Sometta.. Umm.. Sometta.. " I could literally feel the juices inside her pussy hole squirting on my dick - lubricating the passageway even more and stimulating my already highly-stimulated cock. Not surprisingly, after about 10-15 'up and downs' by her, I was ready to come.

She always knows when I am ready to come, probably from the twitching in my cock. At these times, she normally tightens her grip behind me. Today, however, she stopped her pelvic thrusts, plunging my dick into total confusion. It did not know whether to come or not..neither did I. With her hips still, she started kissing me on the neck, and I moved to kiss her again on her lips.