by anaffairtoremember
Then get a better storyline that has something clever, original or interesting in it. Because this was just bad.
...learn from it and get an editor to help you. Behind the grammatical problems lies a fervently erotic mind.
I, you, he, she....pick a person and go with it!! It's very distracting to read a story when the tense and person jumps all around.
Watch your grammar, spelling, punctuation, all detract from reading pleasure.