by carrotsandpeas
A story with sensuality and a definite style. A good balance of emotion and sexual discovery. Very much enjoyed
What a lovely warm and well written story.
I look forward to more great work from your pen.
I loved your story from start to finish it was one of the best I have had the great pleasure to read. Only one little thing "Jennifer soon left the room, giving the two siblings space." the name change here.
I enjoy a romantic lesbian tale as much as . . . well, not to put too fine a point on it . . . the next GUY. And yes, this is romantic, so -- points for that.
That said, it just seemed a little forced. Your protagonist goes from "I'm not into women" to "I want to wear her like a hat" in what seemed to be about three paragraphs. I just didn't see a credible transition there. Sure, in real life, people do uncharacteristic things after severe emotional trauma -- which is what you were attempting to set up in the backstory -- but as an entertainment, this needs to be more credible than "real life."
An update has been submitted regarding the name in the text. I apologize for the stupid mistake. Thanks for telling me!
@Odd man out,
Valid point. I'll try to put some more thought into it the next time.
Not much flow to it, but I read through it anyhow because it had a lot of promise. Good premise and plot, but rough execution.
The Love Of Sara & Jessica Being Near Spontaneous Is Not Hard To Believe. LOVE @ First Sight Has Been Known To Happen Between Persons Of All Sexual Orientation. I Know Myself So Well.
My Aplogy For Taking So Long In Reading & Commenting On This Beautiful Story. Somehow It Had Gotten Past Me. But I've Read It Now. Please Continue Your Fine Writting !
Kisses
Kathy
Story wasn't bad but I would have enjoyed it more if their developing relationship was explored a bit more instead of going from "I don't like chicks." to "Oh, I love you!!!" It's a common problem in many stories, though.
I don't know if this is a first effort but it's a decent story with all the necessary drama and conflict to keep the reader interested. My one criticism is that some of the dialogue is a little unrealistic (e.g. "Please give me what I desire..."---I can't imagine real people speaking like that when making love). Now, having written this story which shows a lot of promise, why haven't you given us any more tales? It would be good to see more from you to see how you're developing as a writer.
This is the third or fourth time I've read this story, and it never fails to make me tear up at the right spots. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story with us!
A beautiful love story!
We need a second one for the brother.