Love and Trust

No more arguments, or should I say no more walking away from arguments. If we had a problem with the other it was to be addressed and handled immediately. When we went out together we were together, unless we both agreed otherwise. Dancing was one thing—being screwed and tattooed on the dance floor was an entirely different matter. The next two were going to be the hardest for me.

"Steve, you have to trust me if we've got any chance at making it. You have to believe I have only your best interests at heart and will never—I repeat never—cheat on you. But you have to promise to do something for me that you may not like doing. " I was getting a little uncomfortable. "You have to make peace with both your dad and your mother. You can see them separately or together, but it needs to be done."

I couldn't believe what she was asking of me. "Hell, no! No way, no how. I don't have a problem with my dad, we've already talked and we're okay, but my mom, that's a whole other can of worms. I don't even have a clue where she's living."

"It shouldn't be too hard to find that out. You're smart, computer savvy, and still know her last name, how hard can it be?"

"What's the point? I haven't seen or spoken to her in years. I have absolutely zero interest in seeing her again."

"Those two made you who you are now, and you need to confront, or should I say talk to the both of them. There are too many unresolved issues and open wounds. You're not that little five-year-old kid anymore, and you need to close that chapter of your life forever. Forgive them and move on with your life, which hopefully me and Angela will be part of." She was asking a lot, but I knew she was right about this.

Regina didn't want to be there, but I insisted. Be it good or bad, if we were going to move forward together I wanted her to meet the two people responsible for molding me into what I was.

It took a week for my dad to agree to a sit down meeting with my mom. I wanted to see them together. First, I did not want to have to go through this more than once, and secondly I didn't think anything could be resolved unless they also made peace with each other. He finally relented as long as it was on his terms and only if we agreed to do it at his house, something about home turf.

And my mother? Well, she agreed almost immediately, something about wanting to see me again. So on Saturday at two o'clock in the afternoon, with nothing stronger than ice tea to drink, we all sat down in my dad's living room. You could have cut the tension with a knife. My dad had moved the living room furniture around so everyone would be sitting in a big circle around a large coffee table. This way you could see everyone without being close enough to touch anyone.

Before we started I introduced Regina to my mom. My dad already knew her, having met her that night in the hospital. I told them it was my idea to have her there and that her presence and support was important to me. After the "pleasantries" were over I began. "I know this is hard for everyone, but it's long overdue," Everyone seemed to be either playing with their drink or nervously fidgeting in their seat. "We may not all like each other, but we've all got a common denominator, me. Mom, Dad, I don't know what transpired between the two of you nor do I care at this particular point anymore, but what your actions did was to scar a five year old boy in ways you can't even begin to imagine." I turned to address my father. "Dad, telling me to suck it up and be a man might have worked for you, but I went from living in what I thought was a happy home to one with a hard ass father and an overly protective grandmother. The only thing you taught me was to keep my guard up because someone was always going to fuck me over given the chance. Up until only a short time ago I believed you, that is until I met someone who has only my best interests at heart." I gave Regina's hand a squeeze. Then it was my mom's turn.

"Mom, what you did to Dad and me was inexcusable. You don't bail on your child. If you and Dad weren't getting along that was your problem. I can see you thought your only way out was to leave, but leaving the way you did tore my heart out. You are my mother, you were supposed to love me, not leave me! All those promises you made that we would be together again were like giving me a taste of candy and then pulling it away. It got to the point where I felt you no longer wanted to see me anymore. You were building your new life without me being a part of it. How long has it been since you last spoke to me, six, seven years? How many phone calls, cards, and birthdays did you miss? And why? Didn't you—don't you—care about me anymore, or were you—are you—just too ashamed you'd let it go this long?"

The tears were falling as my mother tried but failed to get the words out, so I continued. "No matter what, you're still my mom, and nothing can ever change that. But going forward how much you're going to be in my life depends on what happens here today. Both of you need to realize one thing, I don't need either of you in my life. I want you there, but I no longer need your support or acceptance. We're all getting older and one of these days I'm going to get married and probably have kids. I want the two of you to be part of all our lives, and I think—I hope—you do too."

That opened up a round table discussion. For the next hour, 'I'm sorry' was the phrase of the moment. My dad talked, not yelled, at my mom for the first time since the day she walked out on us. They were never going to get back together or even be friends for that matter, but if they could at least remain civil towards one another I could accept that. For the first time I found out that my mom had remarried and was happy, but would give anything to have me back in her life. My dad was still bitter and when he started hashing up old issues. I put an immediate stop to it.

"Dad, this is about me—or should I say the three of us—not you and Mom. If the two of you want to go at it again, please wait until Regina and I leave, then you can tear the house down if that's what you want to do." I'd gotten control back.

When things settled down again, I let Regina tell them a little bit about herself. She explained to them about our rocky relationship, adding that she was committed to it. She told them she felt this discussion was important if the relationship was really going to flourish. In the two hours we talked, issues were resolved, and get togethers were planned especially around the holidays. Though total peace wasn't established, at least the hatchet wasn't buried in someone's skull this time around. We all hugged one another. Exhausted and emotionally drained, but with smiles, we called it a day.

Driving back to her parents' house Regina let me know how she felt about what had just taken place at my dad's. "Stephen Moore, I am so proud of you. You're a strong, wonderful, caring man, and I'm so glad I'm with you."

"How glad are you?" I said with a wicked smile.

"Drive on. We don't have time for what you're thinking about. Remember you promised Angela we'd take her shopping and out to dinner if she was good."

"I think I'd rather have her mother bad, and in my bed right now."

She wasn't taking the bait. "There'll be plenty of time for that, but later." I pouted, even though I knew it would do me no good.

Regina's mother's eyes wanted to know it all when we walked through the front door, but she held her tongue. I figured she and Regina would talk later. We grabbed Angela and headed to the mall in less than five minutes.

Regina and I each picked out an outfit for Angela. Personally, I think my choice looked a whole lot better on her. I paid for both outfits and dinner at Pizza Hut. It had been a long day for all of us, and we were all pretty well drained from it. After Regina put Angela to bed we sat out in her backyard holding one another and sneaking in a few kisses when we thought no one was looking. At nine o'clock after a very nice kiss I decided to call it a night.

"I want to go to the nine fifteen service, so be here no later than a quarter to nine," she announced, walking me out to my car. With one more kiss I headed for home for some much needed sleep.

"Where is Angela?" I asked the following morning.

"She's going with my mother to the ten thirty mass. It's just you and me this morning."

Everyone knew everyone else. It was more like a social gathering outside the big Catholic Church with everyone updating everyone else about what had occurred during the week. I wasn't a fixture, but I could tell they all knew who I was, probably knowing more than I cared for them to know.

It was the same on our way out. Saying goodbye to everyone and telling them we would see them next week took at least fifteen minutes. With Regina next to me in the front seat she announced she wanted to stop at one of the local bakeries. She picked out a couple of items we both liked and got us each a cappuccino.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to have breakfast at your apartment for a change." Did I mind? Hell no! I lived for the time when I could get her all to myself, which wasn't often enough.

It was nice, sipping on coffee and enjoying the warmth of a nice summer Sunday morning during the ten-minute drive to my place.

Relaxed is what I felt. We walked hand-in-hand into my apartment. Arms, lips, and tongues are what I was greeted with when I turned around after shutting the door. There was no discussion, no idle conversation, or any of the like. Regina had her own agenda for this morning and it wasn't breakfast. I was just thankful my bedroom wasn't as messy as it usually is. Breakfast was delayed by about two hours that morning.

Do you know what it's like to have a curvy woman in your arms? Wonderful! Full breasts, hips, an ass that could take a pounding, and a mouth that made me forget every other lover I had ever had.

I had expected this to happen sooner than later, but after yesterday I thought we'd just be talking again this morning, working out the rest of our issues. I guess this morning there weren't any pressing issues to work out.

When I went down on her neatly trimmed pussy I wasn't sure exactly what to expect. Regina wasn't as vocal as I thought she would be. I wasn't sure she was even breathing until I put her long clit in between my lips and started sucking and nibbling on it. After climaxing the first time, her hands never left the top of my head as she guided me to every fold and crevice that needed a little attention. After two orgasms she pulled me up to her face by my head and we exchanged spit for the next ten minutes. Some women I've known thought it was gross to taste themselves on my lips, but Regina wasn't one of them.

So maybe I don't have ten inches of hard steel and maybe I'm not as big around as a Coke can but I get the job done. It might have been my insecurity showing through, but I was out to prove to her that I was the best lover she had ever had. I did everything by the numbers and even had to think about my ugly fifth grade teacher when I was about ready to shoot off before Regina had. As soon as I felt her let loose, I gave her the load I'd been saving just for her for the last four months.

When she climaxed I thought she'd cracked a couple of my ribs with her legs tightly wrapped around me. She was still pushing up against me twenty seconds after we'd both finished. I was starting to shrink and beginning to feel the discomfort from leaning on my elbows for so long not wanting to crush her with my weigh, when she suddenly rolled me over on my back.

"That was nice, that was really nice," she said, licking my lips and then inhaling them.

"Nice?" Nice, I thought to myself thinking I'd given it my best shot and it was only NICE? I think I at least rated a 'great' or maybe even a 'wonderful.' Nice didn't seem to cut it for me right now. My male ego had taken a shot and I think Regina picked up on my dilemma.

"That was the nicest and most gentle lovemaking I've ever experienced. I felt so close to you that if I would have been any closer I would have been inside you."

"Well, that's good because I only want one of us inside at a time." It was a stupid joke, which earned me a punch in the arm, but also another kiss.

"I need a shower and so do you. We can't very well go back to my mom's place smelling like sex, can we?"

"I don't know, why don't we try it and see what happens."

"Let's see, a close, overly protective, and extremely traditional Catholic family on one hand, and a guy who they are just starting to trust, bringing their daughter back from church smelling like they've been screwing all night? You'd be dead before you made it back to your car." She was smiling, but I'd lost my erection as she pulled me towards the bathroom.

"Regina, they know you're not a virgin. They must figure you're doing it at least a little."

"Steve, thinking it and having it thrust in their faces are two entirely different scenarios. If they don't see it, they don't worry about it. They trust their daughter." We got each other off again in the shower without killing ourselves, but it was touch and go when she pulled the shower curtain down. After devouring our breakfast—sex sure works up an appetite—we headed out to Regina's house.

I held the car door open for her, she got in, adjusted her seat belt, fluffed up her hair, and was looking in her vanity mirror putting on some lipstick when I moved over, kissed her, and just before I turned on the car engine I proceeded to further complicate matters. Without thinking I nonchalantly announced, "I love you." Just as nonchalantly I started the car, began heading out of the parking lot when she yelled, "STOP!" She leaned over and turned my car off.

"What the hell did you just say to me?"

I unfastened my seat belt, reached over to a surprised Regina, kissed her on the lips, and said again I loved her. I restarted my car and took off for the second time.

"Steve, we have to talk about this."

"I know, but is this the time or place?"

"Well, my parents' house sure as hell isn't the place."

"Just answer me one question, do you care for me?"

"Yes, but..." she started to say when I stopped her.

"There are no buts. I care for you, you care for me, what else matters?"

"Well, I can think of one person that comes immediately to mind."

"Regina, you and Angela are a package. I've know that from day one and you didn't see me heading for the hills, did you? There are probably going to be a lot of issues but together we'll tackle them one at a time. If we love each other the rest is just superfluous bullshit." She didn't quite agree with me because right now she was up there somewhere in the clouds.

"We need to talk, just not at Momma's house. I still don't know where you want to take this, and your ideas and mine may not be the same."

"Well, we could turn around and head back to my place. Only I'm warning you once I got you back inside, I would have other things on my mind."

"Just like a guy. Give him a taste and he wants to make a steady diet of it." We looked at each other and burst out laughing. "Just drive, Mom is expecting us for lunch."

Lunch was good as always. And like always they kept pushing food at me and then looked disappointed when I refused it.

"How you going to gain weight if you don't eat, you're skin and bones," her mother would say, putting this or that on my plate.

Regina couldn't take her eyes off me, especially when I was talking with either her mother or grandmother. When I let my hands wander a bit she'd elbow me, her eyes saying her family was watching.

"You want to give them a show they won't soon forget?" I whispered in her ear. The look I got in return said no way, no how. I kept my hands to myself.

Regina's grandmother was sitting to my other side. Just guessing, she had to be at least eighty, but could have been ninety for all I knew. She was spry but thin, and looked old. During dessert she leaned over to me and pointed at my plate.

"You like this?" she said, referring to the dessert.

"Yes, it's very good," I said, with a smile on my face, trying to be overly polite.

"I made it," she replied, puffing up her chest. This was followed by another proclamation. "My granddaughter is a beautiful woman, no?"

"Yes, she is." I looked to my other side at Regina who was talking to someone on the other side of her.

"Since you're already sleeping with her, don't you think it's time the two of you got married?" With that business out of the way, she put the last fork full of her dessert into her mouth.

I only choked a little, reaching over for my tea to wash down what was left in my mouth. My mind was racing. How could she know? Shit we had only done it for the first time this morning. Was she a witch or something?

When Grandma swallowed what was left in her mouth she picked up right where she left off. "The way the two of you look at each other reminds me of my late husband. He was never satisfied, that man could go on for hours. How I ever got anything done with him around still mystifies me." I looked over at Regina and mouthed the word HELP hoping she would understand my meaning. "Well, I hope it's soon, I'm not getting any younger, you know, and I'd hate to die before it happens." With that she patted my arm. I was very glad when Regina came to my rescue.

"Grandma, I've got to introduce Steve to Aunt Clare before she leaves."

"No problem sweetheart, Steve and I were just getting to know each other a little bit better." When Grandma's eyes met mine they said it all.

"You didn't tell anyone we had sex before we got here, did you?"

"Steve, do you think I'm nuts. I sure as hell don't have a death wish, do you?"

"Well, your Grandmamma said that since we're having sex, I should make an honest woman out of you. That, along with a brief history of her sex life with your grandfather. Holy shit, way too much information." Regina was now laughing into her hands. "Go ahead and laugh, you saw I almost choked on my custard. Think how cute that would have been with her giving me mouth to mouth. Yuck!"

"The only one who is going to be giving you mouth to mouth is me." With a quick look to make sure no one was looking she gave me a big kiss.

It was kind of spooky, but every Sunday Grandma kept her eyes on me, especially if I was with either Angela or Regina.

My discussions with Regina became more serious and included all topics, including Angela. Would I adopt her if we got married? Would I become Catholic? Where would we live? How many kids did I want? These were all questions she wanted answers to, only sometimes I had none. Things were progressing rapidly, and it was scaring the hell out of me. We double dated a lot with Jeremy and his wife, Cindy. They'd taken the plunge last year and wondered why I was dragging my feet.

My family was closer than it had been in years. I made it a point to talk to both my dad and my mom weekly. We were working on our relationships but sometimes it was like pulling teeth. It was hard to recapture so much lost time in a few months. But I was about to shake things up again.

It happened Sunday, March fourteenth. Regina and I were as compatible as anyone I'd ever met. Work was going great, and for once I was happy with my life. My lease was coming due the first of May and I'd already told them I wasn't going to renew. Instead of replacing my ten-year-old car, I got the engine rebuilt and a few other things done so it was good for another hundred thousand miles—I had better things to do with my money.

Often there were twenty to twenty-five plus people at her mom's most Sundays after church. It was potluck and everyone brought something to share for the meal. Regina and I had stopped off at the bakery after church and picked up four loaves of freshly baked Cuban bread. They were still hot when we put them in the back seat next to Angela. In the trunk of my car I had a large cooler of ice and a few other items I'd need a bit later.