Love of Johanna Ch. 01

It was our last full contact practice. I dressed for football after we ran our five miles, was out on the field right when the team was finishing the worst of the warm-up drills. We ran plays, the other guys hit me hard because they were pissed about what I was doing. On my drive home that night I'd never felt so beat up and tired. It all seemed to work so well on paper. I didn't know how I'd make it through the next week -- if I made it through the next couple days.

Johanna called me to ask how practice went. I told her it went well, that everything was going to work out. She had never called me before. We talked for an hour.

The next day was similar to the last, except my teammates couldn't annihilate me because we weren't wearing pads. Still, my legs were just about dead as I got into bed that night. Johanna even called me again to ask how I was doing. It seemed like my vague, impulsive plan was working.

The day of the football game. I sat with Johanna and her friends at lunch, walked with her to her locker. I thought I was in, that we were a week away from full-on couple hood.

"Hey, Jo, do wanna come see me play tonight?"

"Stephen, I can't. I usually go to bed at nine the night before a meet." She looked at least mildly bummed about it.

"I promise I'll get you home no later than 10:30." She thought about it before turning me down.

"Sorry, Stephen. Next Saturday you have a home game and our meet's home too. I'll come watch you get tackled then." I was surprised she knew the game schedule.

I had dead legs in the game that night, caught a few passes, played terrible defense though. We should've won easily but we didn't, lost by three. The whole team played poorly, I was singled out during the 'team dedication' portion of the weekly win or lose rant. I was bruised and beat. Hobbled out of bed the next day, arrived at school, everyone was in the van ready to go.

"Sorry, I'm late, Coach, won't happen again." Johanna saved me a seat next to her, she was one of the few that didn't look like they wanted to kick me in the nuts when I got in.

"Stephen, you guys looked terrible last night. I left at the half." She had gone to the game after telling me she absolutely couldn't?

"You came to the game? We didn't play well at all." She was wearing lip gloss. I thought it was strange that she'd put on lip gloss to go run in the woods.

"Yes. I couldn't remember your number, but this one guy hit you so hard your helmet came off -- so I got to watch you for most of the second quarter at least." Slightly embarrassing.

"Tell me next time you're coming. I'll try not to get run over." She giggled, we went over the rules again, how everything worked.

There were kids from three different schools besides ours. Kevin pointed out this one guy that was supposed to be the fastest. I started out fine, kept pace with him for a while, but fell behind since my legs were swollen. Kevin finished second to the star runner, I finished somewhere in the middle. I knew that if my legs were healthy I could beat him. It got to me, finishing in the middle of a bunch of guys I knew I was faster than.

We came in second overall, Johanna did as well as Kevin. The rest of the team was happy with our performance. They kept saying how they never beat Bridgewater before -- were proud of coming in ahead of the third place team. It was all mildly depressing. Johanna hugged me a bunch of times, asked me why I looked so bummed when we were back in the van.

"I did crappy. I know I could've run with that guy that beat Kevin." She smiled, stroked my arm.

"You did good for someone who's never run cross country before. I know your legs are probably jello -- mine are, and I'm used to running all week. You'll do better each week."

"Thanks, Jo, but I think I should probably quit one of the teams or I might end up ruining both teams' chances."

"It's still the first week, I think you can do both. We need you, the football guys need you. Give it some time, please?" I smiled.

"Well, if you think I can do it then I have to try. I can't have Johanna Johnston thinking I'm a quitter giver-upper." She giggled.

"So stop looking like you're gonna go home and hang yourself. We're going out for pizza after we get changed, you wanna give me a ride?" It's difficult describing how desirable she was to me then, especially then. It was like every other female I'd ever messed around with was just sort of attractive in comparison to Johanna.

I came back out showered and changed, had to wait another twenty minutes for Jo. She appeared with Lola. Apparently, she'd offered rides to Kevin and Lola. We went to the mall down the road, had to wait to get a table at this grimy pizza place everyone went to. Lola talked, I watched Johanna, Kevin was all business. At one point Lola went to the bathroom and Kevin went to re-fill our pitcher. Johanna pinched me.

"What?!" She smiled, devilishly.

"Quit staring at me! They're gonna find out..."

"Find out what?" She faux frowned, eyed me like a detective.

"That we like each other... Lola will tell everyone." I smiled, held her hand under the table.

"So what if everyone knows that I like you and want you to be all mine." She stuck her tongue between her teeth, tried not to laugh.

"It doesn't work like that. Dating me requires patience and ridiculous concentration. I don't know that you're up to the task."

"I think I'm up to any task where I get the chance to be with the wonderful, fabulous Johanna Johnston." She blushed.

"I don't think you understand. You have no chance at sleeping with me before Thanksgiving. After New Year's, if you're still around, your chances will have diminished even further since I'll be studying for SAT's and applying to colleges. And imagine you're taking me to prom, it's prom night -- you're definitely not getting any prom night." She laughed, I couldn't help but giggle at my own misfortune.

"I want all that Johanna entails, and if I can cop a feel by Christmas..." Lola returned, Jo nudged me to be quiet. We finished and I drove Kevin and Lola home, was alone with Johanna on the way to her house.

"You wanna go to a movie tonight?" Might as well ask, since we're basically dating now.

"I can't. I'm going to my friend's house tonight. I told you -- patience. I'll see you Monday at school. Plus, I said I'd watch you play football next Saturday."

"I guess seeing you every day except Sunday is fine for now." She smirked, kissed me quick on the lips, got out of my car then turned back.

"I guess you can call me tomorrow night if you want." She smiled then sorta hopped off into her house.

It was weeks before she agreed to a proper date. Weeks of double practices and aching legs. But I did it. I dominated at every cross country meet, did my part on the football team. And even though Johanna wouldn't go out with me, we talked for an hour on the phone pretty much every night, spent as much time as we could together in school.

We hadn't had our first date yet, but we were in love. She wanted to pick apples, it was Sunday, I went to pick her up. Her father answered the door.

"Hey, Stephen, come in." I'd seen him a few times at the cross country runs.

"How's it going Dr. Johnston?" He talked about a winery trip he'd gone on with his wife the day before.

"Oh, I forgot, congratulations on your win yesterday, actually, both your wins. You had two touchdowns and what, 150 yards?" He was obviously more interested in football than running in the woods. After what seemed like twenty minutes of uncomfortable chit-chat, Johanna appeared. It was early October, chilly out. She wore a light sweater and tight jeans.

"Hi, Stephen." I stood up, she smiled and hugged me.

"Daddy, we'll be out 'til dark." She hugged him and we left.

"I've been waiting for today all week, Stephen."

"Me too. I'm excited, a real date with Johanna." I hadn't thought of bringing flowers, I'd have to figure something out. I liked talking to her more than anyone. She was the sweetest girl I'd ever known, but still so silly. She made me carry the basket while she went from tree to tree picking out certain apples. We were there for hours, I didn't mind.

"You have been perfect so far, Stephen." She made me put the full basket down, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. We kissed again when we got to the car.

"I'm gonna take you out to dinner and wow you with my dinnertime charm." She giggled, held my hand for the rest of the night. We arrived back at her house around nine, not exactly pushing curfew.

"Today was so much fun, Stephen. I'll see you tomorrow at school." We kissed for a while in her driveway, but it was chilly, she had her body pressed to me.

"Stephen! I've got to go inside and go to bed." I had my arms around her, but she hadn't moved hers from around my neck either.

"I wanna put you in your bed and tuck you in." She giggled, buried her face in my jacket.

"My daddy likes you, you shouldn't push your luck."

"Luck? I'm in love with his daughter." She kissed my chin.

"When can I meet your parents?"

"You can go up with them this Friday, sit with them and cheer on your boy."

"My boy, my boy -- I kinda love my boy... I hope your mom likes me."

"What about my dad?"

"Your dad will like me automatically, I've got a cute butt." I grabbed her butt, she squealed.

"But my daddy won't like you touching his girl's butt in the driveway..." I moved my hands higher.

"That's cuz she's a good girl and should be in bed." She kissed me, said goodnight, kissed me again, and said goodnight again. Finally she went in. She was all mine.

By anyone's definition
I haven't left my home for yours,
picked you up and hugged you
to your bones, hello,
I can't say the things I mean to
when I say 'Hello'
By your own definition
I haven't left your drive
when I spy you from the car,
pictured in your window
as if I'd only just arrived, 'Hello'
you say with your mouth in an 'O'

It was Thursday afternoon, I didn't go to school because I had a fever -- had a football game the next night and a cross country tournament on the weekend. Johanna called me during the day to find out how I was feeling. She surprised me when she walked into my room right after school.

"Stevie, you look pretty sick." She sat on the bed next to me.

"You gotta go to practice, don't get too close, you'll get sick." I turned away from her. She didn't move.

"You're shaking, Stephen."

"Yeah, whenever I turn over I get all cold and shiver." She rubbed my arm over the blanket.

"You want me to get you another blanket?" I told her there was one in the closet. She retrieved it and covered me then lay down and put her arm over me.

"Jo, I've been throwing up, you shouldn't be in my bed." She propped herself up over me.

"You don't want me in your bed?" She smiled.

"God, yes I do, just not when the room's spinning and I have the taste of puke in my mouth."

"Stephen, want me to call your mom? Or I could take you to the walk-in clinic?"

"Jo, it's just a fever, I'll probably be fine tomorrow. You should get to practice, we've got the tournament this weekend." She ignored me.

"Stephen, let me call my dad, I'll take you to his office -- he'll make sure." Her dad was a pediatrician, I didn't really think I needed to go to the doctor's.

"I don't want your dad touching my privates." She didn't think it was funny.

"I'm not laughing, you look like a corpse, your eyes can't focus on anything." That was true, I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than a couple seconds. She got out her phone and dialed her father's office.

"Hi, Daddy. I'm at Stephen's, he's pretty sick, could you stop by his house after work to make sure he's not dying?" They talked, it sounded like he said he'd be over in a couple hours.

"Stephen, he's gonna come over after work. Now, would you like some medicine or water or Gatorade?"

"Yeah, actually, there's pills on the kitchen counter my mom left out. Two of those and some water would be nice -- and if you could take your top off on the way back, that'd be great." She pinched my arm under the blanket then left to go get the pills. She came back, unfortunately fully dressed. I sucked down the pills, she sat on the bed.

"I'll take my top off if you show me your penis."

"Under normal circumstances I would, but when a guy's sick his manhood tends to disappear -- a lot like after swimming." She giggled.

"That's what I thought. You're freezing because your blood is flowing to your organs, away from your limbs and your special appendage."

"I hope you get to see my special appendage someday, it's awfully nice."

"I'm just going to assume you're delirious." She stroked my arm, I felt so nauseous that if she said she'd sleep with me right then, I'd have to pass.

"You're already late, you should get back to school."

"I'm your nurse. I'm skipping practice and I'm gonna wait until my dad comes and says you're not gonna die."

"Nurse fantasies don't work when you're actually sick."

"I'm not here to be your fantasy. I'm here because I want you to get better so you can chase me around the woods."

"What if I'm too sick to play football or run this weekend? These are the matches we've been working toward." She lay her head on my shoulder.

"I'd prefer you stay in bed if you're not feeling good enough to run. I don't like watching you get tackled anyway, but if you feel weak because you're sick you might actually get hurt." We lay there for a while, it was comforting listening to her breathe.

"Johanna, I think about you more than I'd ever want you to know."

"What you think about? Seeing me naked?" She was amused.

"Of course, seeing you naked has become my top fantasy, but I also think about you wearing clothes too. You know, like coming over for Thanksgiving and meeting my sister and going to homecoming dance with me." She laughed.

"I'm glad I'm wearing clothes when I meet your sister... You asking me to homecoming?"

"Yes. You're gonna be homecoming queen for cross country and I'm gonna be your escort."

"Yeah, since I'm the only senior girl I might get some votes. But the homecoming queen for the whole school has to actually be popular."

"I think you'll win, you're sweeter and prettier than any girl I know." She was blushing, my face was flush from being sick, but hers was probably redder.

"I'm glad you think so, because what you think about me is all that matters. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't want to be homecoming queen. I'd get to wear a crown in the middle of the football field at half-time with you watching me from the sidelines."

"Even better, no one else around, you naked in the middle of the field wearing a crown, me watching from the sidelines." She nudged me.

"You know, you have a better chance at seeing me naked by not talking about seeing me naked."

"Johanna, I've come to accept that I'm probably not ever going to see you naked. At least we can joke about it, unless you think I'm pressuring you."

"Don't worry, Stephen, if I ever felt like you were pressuring me into sex you'd be the first to know. I wouldn't have a problem ignoring you for the rest of the year if you proved you were some typical high school block head. I've little time for one-dimensional characters in my story." She was brilliant, unique.

"I wanna be in your story all year, give you some surprise plot twists."

"You've already given me one big surprise plot twist. My narrative for this year didn't include falling for some guy I've already went to school with for four years." She was making me feel better, the sound of her voice.

"So, you work on getting into a top notch college and I'll work on making this year the funnest and most exciting." She looked sad.

"I can't think about college when I'm with you. Anyway, you should be thinking about your own future too."

"I already know where I'm going to college, and I know who I want to spend every day with this year. So basically, I've got everything all figured out." She bit her lip.

"If you weren't yucky and barfy I'd kiss you for like an hour."

"Rain check make-out, I figure Sunday I should be germ free?"

"Sunday I have a clothing drive and bake sale at my church -- you can come help?" I hadn't been in or thought of a church since I was a kid.

"Okay. But my family isn't exactly church going. You know, it might get embarrassing when Mrs. Ladyfingers asks me where my family worships and I say 'nowhere'."

"Don't worry, I'm not easily embarrassed, and no one's going to ask you if you believe in God. -I kinda believe in God, do you think I'm an idiot?" She looked worried.

"Nothing you believe in would make me think you're an idiot. You have a super special power over me. I just don't think about God for the most part."

"It's not the best reason, but I probably only believe in God because everyone else does. -Actually, it's probably the only reason I can think of that doesn't sound like magic."

"You don't have to give me any reasons, the question doesn't keep me up at night."

"Good. I'm glad we've got that settled then. Johanna probably believes in God and it's okay that Stephen probably doesn't." Her dad rang her on the way to my house. She went to the door and showed him to my room.

"Hey, Stephen, how you feeling?"

"Actually, a lot better since Johanna came over, she's a very good nurse." He asked me some more questions, inspected me a little -- does this hurt here, is it painful when... He said it was just some run of the mill fever, that if it continued or got worse to call him. Johanna reluctantly left with him.

I did feel slightly better the next day, went to school just to be eligible to play in the game. I was pretty dizzy during warm-ups, threw-up at half-time. Thankfully the coaches made me sit the second half. We won at least, no fault of my own. At least Johanna got to meet my parents because of it. I was surprised when she appeared at my house with them.

"You shouldn't have played, you still look sick." She had her arms crossed, scolding me like my mother use to. I couldn't help but smile.

"Jojo, you should be in bed, you've got to run tomorrow. I'll be ready to go, twelve hours of rest beforehand." She pushed me onto my bed.

"You better not show up tomorrow if you're still this sick. I mean it." She marched out of my room and went home. My dad came in after she left.

"Hey, so me and your mom really like Johanna, she's a sweet girl." He smiled knowingly, having heard her orders to me.

"I'm sure I'll be okay to run tomorrow, throwing up in my helmet isn't as bad as it looks."

"Well, it's not really about that, is it -- whether you're physically capable to run?" I wasn't tracking, spinning head and everything.

"Steve, I'm saying, why piss off Johanna? It seems like she really likes you." He had more fatherly insights to share, but I was falling asleep.

The next day I arrived at the school and tried my best to convince Johanna I was completely ready to run. She accepted my case and let me proceed. She and Lola ran well enough to start us off in second place overall. They were covered in mud at the finish due to a standing water obstacle. The girls were freezing cold, toweling off while we got ready.

Out of the box we were fine, there were four other schools competing, Kevin had the lead, followed by the hero from the first meet, then me. Wading through the standing water was horrible, it was freezing, I managed to push Kevin out ahead of the top runner, which put me in third. Into the finishing chute I nudged out the cross country hero to finish second to Kevin. A perfect score to give us a steady team lead.

Unfortunately, the frigid water really got to me in my already weakened state. I was shivering, shaking like crazy during the secondary races. When Johanna found me she went and got a medic. They took me to the hospital. It was all very dramatic, except it wasn't so funny, because Jo was terrified.