All Comments on 'Lunch Break at The Office'

Not too bad a start for writing in itself, but i wouldn't call that a romance story. No buildup, no nothing. Instead it reads like a typical badly written porn script, with 2 minutes to introduce the characters and then the action starts.

The sex is written pretty well, though.

For a romance story, i would expect far more buildup, flirting, dinner & a movie, something like that before getting down to business. And then, there would have to be equally some sort of buildup, gentle kissing, exploring each other and the like. This felt more like "wham-bam-ty-mam", especially with that comment at the end.

Nice story, terrific fuck. 5 stars

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