All Comments on 'Lying Eyes'

I think that bouncing your work off someone else is a very good thing - this one seemed a bit long, and the references to the song and cultural references were thick enough that it tended to detract from the story.

The dialog and characterizations were fine - although I would have liked to see more of the Jo Anne character, and perhaps something from Constance in the depths of her fall.

As always, my comments should be taken with a grain of salt, since I don't offer my own stuff for critique.

Thanks again -

Greensomething

Thanks for a great SS06 Story! You as always write a fantastic story. Thanks!

SS06's long line of great stories also seems to go on. This one was one of the best.

your verbose style; perhaps your next editor will help with that. So much narrative and passive voice, gets in the way of the story. If it doesn't advance the plot or develop a character, cut it. Welcome back and thanks for submitting.

but you can use them to hoodwink others, until. TK U MLJ LV NV

Yea , I know that Connie was a slut, but she sure went to hell for it.

I was glad that Jo Anne finally got to find herself someone that could love and take care of her.

A well written and nice love story, with a happy ending for some.

Thanks for the read.

But I'd have to agree that some judicious editing and some tightening up would have made it even better.

I loved the way you created Connie as a villain in the first few paragraphs but, from then on it didn't leave much to come as a surprise. Again, a bit of editing so that her her nastiness was exposed gradually might have made it even better.

Still a good story though!

Your objective in the Thalmor embassy is to gather evidence concerning the dragons return to Skyrim, and to see if the Thalmor are responsible for this. I hate those snooty elves, so I just ran in and cut a swath through them, after I snuck into the backrooms of course. :D

Great story as usual SS06, I hope you're successful in finding a good editor.

keep bring'em

This story didn't have as much emotional impact on me like many of your other stories. I just couldn't seem to care for Dan much, it's like he was more of a side character than anything else.

As for Connie, mostly I found it, well, sad. She was, like others said about her, Dumb Pussy. Vindictive, cruel and haughty, but not the "pure evil" you see in many other stories. An irresponsible teenager in an adult body. Her ending was just sad.

I got so engrossed in the story that I forgot to notice any grammar/spelling/puctuation/usage errors. Were there any? Maybe you don't need a proofreader.

I think you did a nice job of developing the Constance character. It can't be easy to create an evil character. The concluding paragraphs about Connie and her death could have been left out without hurting the story.

Good Read Stang as always.

Keep it coming man.

Thanks.

for sharing another great read!!

but they all centre around people who either are to dumb to hold a job or are to stupid to be real as in this case if the main male character was that well liked he would know what she was doing because everybody else knew and for sure they would tell him.

Well done mustang man, well done.

Another masterful writing and toward the end I started to remember the song "those lying eyes" by the Eagles. In life we all remember certain events and occasions with the contemporary music of the time, I do! Another song the writer should consider is "you raise me up"

Thanks for sharing and look forward to reading you masterful work!

This was a truly great read. The ending was over-the-top cruel, but the story was just so compelling. Keep it up.

This coulda been a contender, in terms of a serious foray into literature, The author chose instead to deftly juggle cliches & add another def paro-dstory to his resume. The usual suspects are here ( mean girl cheerleaders, absent-minded but endearing billionaires ) .

Having said all this - there were trancendent moments that made this worth reading & then some. Connie's growing awareness of her multiple personal pitfalls was affecting. I strongly identified with Dab's desire to scrub the slut out if his life as quickly as possible with a modicum of decency.

I l know the title song like many other readers. On the whole execution of building a story to flesh out the lines was amazing given the self imposed deadline & no editor . Kudos to Stang- under the circumstances. I shudder to think where would Loving Wives would be this year, without his contributions,

Llike Mouse, I didn't like Connie's wretched fate at the story's conclusion. Yet it was due to the author's tremendous skill at creating empathy that that this ostensibly reprehensible character's literary oblivion has any consequence.

You are a terrific writer but I didn't enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed some of your other stories. I am looking forward to your next story. Please keep writing.

Nice story. Thanks

I just liked it....I like the longer stories.....and I hope you continue your writings.....

I plead ignorance. I was not familiar with "Lying Eyes." I heard OF the Eagles, but I guess I never heard them.

I have now listened to the tune and read the lyrics. I think I might have enjoyed the story more if I knew the song ahead of time.

The idea of revealing Constance's inner self on the beginning reduces the potential tension in the story, unless you decided to reconcile her or re-educate her along the way, but then it became obvious that her sins were legion and that there was no way back. I am amused that the anti-wimp crowd has not started screaming because he did not have her suitably punished immediately and went to all that trouble to get rid of her legally. They would just have something contracted according to them.....

She really should have picked up on his loss of interest in sex with her but she was, er., confused...

It really does not seem to need much proof reading, which I could do for you. Perhaps editing, which I can not do for you because I love lots of words... Apparently most of the people on the site want to read a newspaper report rather than a literary piece.....

Please...will someone out there write a Loving Wives story that doesn't follow this same ragged, over worked, sob story line. There must be over fifty stories on Lit that follow the same thread. The poor widow with the beautiful young daughter (under 10 years old) who pines for the "All American Hero" but he's married to a cunning cheating witch. Not to worry...the AAH will find out about his cheating wife then throw the married slut to the curb...after a period of being a clueless dumb idiot, he marries the lovely widow with the lovely little girl and they live happily ever after...

Give me a BREAK ! ! ! This story didn't need 8 pages to tell. It could have simply done one page stating..."This Loving Wives story is the same as those other fifty stories that you read on this erotic stories site..."

dude I knew you were a blithering idiot but I did not think you were THIS stupid. But unfortunately your comment about the ANTI WIMP crowd proves to us that you are well... mighty stupid.

Danforth was fooled and blissfully ignorant because he was in love . BUT once he found out what was going on he took action very quickly. Nobody with any sensible could suggest remotely that Danforth was a wimp

I think what was particularly enjoyable about the story was that we got a chance to see the inner workings of Connie. She is a incredibly twisted and sell centered ... a deformed person intellectually ...emotionally... and most importantly in her spirit.

Her actions were pretty extreme but SS06 goes out of his way to show what her thought process ...what her MINDSET is / was. IMO this sort of background character development really makes the story far more enjoyable.

Connie never moved past high school. In alot of way she is sort of like one of these ex jocks living in the same town going to the same bar for the past 10 years reliving their high school football Glory days ( Bruce !!!). In this case however she was not reliving any athletic ability but her ability to manipulate ...lie ...cheat ...and betray.

There is one aspect of the story which bothers me.... And that is this idea that somebody whio is as focused and detail oriented and powerful as Danforth could actually marry somebody like Connie without even thinking about looking into her background and past. It would be one thing if Danforth had done this and decided "well she is obviously more mature ... ' or if Danforth had talk to her about her past... and Connie had lied or convinced him that she was now different.

We see this sort of thing in a lot ofLW stories. Invariably in slipruff or MM or JPB we come across some portion of the story where the husband says or thinks... "what she did in the past ... before we were married ...is not my concern"

And of course such a sentiment is ludicrous and nobody operates that way. Would anybody seriously marry someone they were dating if the was discovered that this person had say

9 different STD?

Had killed three people?

was an agent for Al Qeada?

Of course people are allowed to have lives... aAnd if they want sex... before they get married. But the other person involved in the possible marriage also has a right to know and this argument / premise that they don't have a RIGHT to know or that they should not WANT to know is way over used in these stories. It's unrealistic and doesn't work and offers need to stop suggesting this

I would have say that I am saddened by the lack of editting in what is otherwise an exceptional piece of writing. I would have given you 100 out of 5 stars but you made a spelling mistake "my instead of me" through off my whole day it did. Made me sell my shares in Facebook, I was so distraught. Is the world coming to an end I have to ask myself. I know it's not your fault, I know the kind of pressure your under SS06. But mark my words, shape up. I can only be held accountable for the sarcastic content of this post. Enjoyed the story looking forward to the next.

then it must be back to boring formulaic tripe - sorry SS06, not gonna wade through 8 pages but I will check you next week to see if you are back to having original ideas.

"Please...will someone out there write a Loving Wives story that doesn't follow this same ragged, over worked, sob story line"

Go for it! Come up with something original! Fact is, there are only so many themes, and they are all overworked. The difference is some of the writing works, some don't. Stang's normally do. Trite or hackneyed or overworked, they are at least entertaining and can hold a person's interest.

Decent story.

What is 'editting?' My LIT spellchecker has to be forced to accept it! LOL. Concur the Stangster did just fine sans editor!

Back to the tale, and the very sad song! Excellent! 'Nuff said!

I personally do not like easy endings where the skank goes downhill fast, then dies in a car accident, but Sweety Connie deserved it as much as any skank. Her lack of any (non-manipulation) skills due to her laziness certainly made her descent plausible.

I concur with the comment that a man like our Hero would have looked into any spouse-contender's background more thoroughly ... and I will raise it by one. I doubt he would have been swayed by Playnate T&A and great head if the lady didn't have a sense of purpose beyond spending his dough. I'm sure her work with kids was post-marriage and not where she was working when they met!

I liked this one. In a sense it was pretty straightforward, incredibly self centered woman cheats on husband. The drug deal was a simple device to allow her to be dumped for little cost.

Connie was an interesting character. She starts out as a really self centered bitch. But then you find out she likes to be used also. Submissiveness? Dan takes her out and proves she dresses like a slut and throws out all her clothes and she just goes along with it? Submissiveness? It seems odd that Dan let the slut wear go on so long. If I was dating a woman who always dressed like a slut I doubt I would want to marry her. You don't change a slut by buying her new clothes. The "Dumb Pussy" name seems very accurate. She wants to make money by giving it to Todd who she KNOWS is a major screwup? If she wanted to make money she probably could have asked Dan and he would have set her up with a million dollar portfolio she could manage on her own. Ashley was quite correct, Connie had it all and she was doing everything she could to screw it up. That's the one thing she was successful at.

The literal dead end Connie comes to seems harsh. In jail, she seems to be coming to some realizations about her life. But afterward she just becomes a train wreck. Somehow I just can't see her becoming a prostitute. I think she would have come back to Dan and asked for money and I think he would have given her enough to keep her from starving.

I agree that Dan is a fairly lightweight character but he is consistent. He's a wealthy powerful man and he plays the part. When realizing what is going on, he is upset but quickly takes decisive action. I like the way he took actions against the Posse. Very effective.

Overall a good story. Connie is a confusing mix but she is written to be that type of character so it fits. It's cute that Dan allows himself to fall in love with the child before he finds out he is in love with her mother. It's also a bit weird, but OK.

Every bit of it! Awesome story! Since you took so long to post this story you should apologize with 2 more stories.

make sure they know what tautology means. We'll all appreciate the resulting 4 page stories.

I've actually had this "Lying' Eyes" in my list of stories to do. HDK, I think, did this one and now you. It is a great storyline and you did a fine job of weaving a broadcloth, making the Lyin Eyes part of her person.

You have a great and interesting way of telling your stories. Thank you for writing.

Regards,

-Pultoy

Very good read. Did not like what happened to Constance. People can't help it if they are stupid - that's just them. In other words, you failed to portray her as evil. She was petty and mean spirited and spoiled. As written, she was still a little girl.

Real regrets and growth are what I would prefer.

Still, story rates a five.

Harry has to be the biggest moron on this site.

And he is calling Bruce22 an idiot?

He is so inconsistent that he has zero credibility.

The only thing Harry knows how to do is to attack others with stupid comments.

Indy22 nailed Harry with his comments on The Six O'clock News Slot. Harry blasted FrancisMacomber on many of the stories that he wrote. Even saying in one review that he didn't understand the basics of writing a story. And then just so he could attack CLOACAS he reversed all his other reviews to say the Francis Moacomber's stories are all good.

I just started reading on this site again after being away for a few years and find that Harry hasn't changed over the last six or seven years.

He must monitor the comments just to attack others.

Damn Harry! Get a life! Or at least some intelligence.

Harry with the exception of the weak minded, no one cares what you write.

Well that's not completely true. We do like to laugh at you.

As one of the comments I read about you said you're like the weird old drunk uncle at Thanksgiving that everyone like to snicker about.

That pretty much nails it.

Unfortunately this was a very formulaic LW story. If you look at 10 LW stories, probably 3 or 4 have this basic plot. The 'twist' to his is using the lyrics of the Eagles. Other than that, just same old, same old.

1) husband loves wife to the max

2) wife is having an affair but it's getting old. She tells herself it's gong to be just one more time --- over and over again.

3) the sex with the lover is mediocre but she just can't say no

4) hubby is a basket case because of his devotion and love - but suddenly turns into a cold hearted bastard.

5) coincidentally, there is a beautiful, wonderful, warm hearted woman waiting in the wings whose original husband/lover was killed in Iraq - or - Afghanistan - but the woman was left pregnant, alone, and broke.

-btw- no offense to our men in the military, but there sure are a lot of them dying and leaving beautiful women alone in the states - just read the Loving Wifes section of Literotica - they are all over the place.

6) divorced ex-wife dies miserable and alone - in the worst circumstances the current writer can think of.

7) dozens of cheering misogynists will glorify her pathetic end as being 'exactly what she deserved.'

Are there only 3 or 4 plot lines in the LW universe? But, sucker that I am, I'll continue to read LW stories, looking for a diamond in a pile of shit.

HDK, where are you when we need you?

SStang for another fine tale. Every thursday (almost) you churn out theses 5* +/- tales. Just f'n scary how you do it!

Danfords forty nine years old.Way to old for a grunt in Afghan war, doesn't ring true.

As an Iraq war veteran (42, at the time), it is possible. You can be in th US Army until the age of 62 with a waiver. So being in Afganistan at the age of 49 is reasonable.

After the first page you could see where this story was going, Stangstar06 a pretty good writer but he can get his time lines and characters a little mixed up. so why make a point of his errors and just enjoy the story. to many critics who cannot write a single sentence or ever begin to write a story.

I would also enjoy your take on Frank Zappa's "Magdalena"

or better yet, Spinal Tap's "BIG Bottoms"

Now that would be a story with some meat on it!

You need to get an editor quick - or beg MTB to edit for you again. The story line was great but there is a big difference between what we have seen for the last year. This was a mess, bad grammar, mis-spelled words, not to mention the punctuation. It definitely detracted from the reading. It was a good story that could have been great - 3 stars

Oh course, I'm a huge Police fan, so of course I'm going to give it 5 stars, even if it sucked. But, it was an enjoyable read, so it still gets 5 stars. I've got a great song of inspiration for you "Fat bottomed girls" or "I want to break free" by Queen.

"He loved to do sixty eights. That's where I suck him off and he owes me one."

Best line I've read in a long time!

No loitering at the Chuck E Cheese you nonce!

for american low brows.

That's funny.

The KING of the CRUEL REVENGE STORIES keep writting the better and better ROMANTIC REVENGE STORIES. I like these type revenge stories, thank you.

tempted to say as usual. I found it a bit sad how Constance ended. Not excusing her behaviour, she got what she deserved, but she also needed help, therapy, friends in time of need, better parents, whatever ... But that's how the story goes :). By the way, the story is far better than many other 'edited' stories I've read, so I wouldn't worry much about the editing. 5*

@ Dear Author I think you read 800IBgorilla's story "A Beautifull Wish" in Sci-Fi & Fantasy hub or on SOL (storiesonline.net) and I feel the effect of the 5th chapter. of that story on your story. I bet 95% likelihood this..........

If you've read "A Beautiful Wish", I recommend you read "Genie Chronicles" by Joe Brolly. One of my favorite stories on this site.

To bad the mixed ending ,some bitches do change some don't keeps us pussy hounds from old lady palm and her five daughters.

not sure you will ever overcome the boat anchor on your writing style - mayhap your next editor will help. resident illiterate morons and shut ins don't mind the endless droning as long as is satisfies their sophomoric craving for revenge but anyone who knows writing wants to skip about half the story. 2.5 stars?

I almost gave it 4****s but decided it was too good for that and I couldn't give it 4-1/2 stars.

Very well written but a few things were not logical. Although I don't doubt that the in crowd would have influence on the choice of cheerleaders, the final choice is not made by students but by the teachers and administration. They could not be petty or stupid enough to deny one of the most beautiful and the most athletic and talented girl a spot on the team. Also the story made Connie too evil and too powerful to be realistic.

This is one of your best, I enjoyed it very much.

SS06 - how you manage to pump out great/good stories is a major feat. Thanks for sharing with us!

..."Lyin' Eyes" story (IMHO) was written by 'Longhorn__07' around 2005/6.

I liked the basic premise of this story but, when Connie started to realize her mistakes, I no longer wanted Danford to seek vengeance. SS06 you made her too human and contrite for vengeance to be appropriate. Yes, she was a cheating slut but her transformation from 'caterslut' to butterfly was about to occur.

If you want them to be worthy of our opprobrium and spleen, stop making them almost human and worthy of a second chance right at the point where the trapdoor opens, the pendulum slices her thorax or whatever horrible end she is to suffer begins! You've done this a few times; just as I'm feeling some sympathy for a poor deluded, almost-recovering dickaholic - you lower the boom and I can't help feeling some sympathy for them. I'm no RAAC fan either.

For all that I like your style, although not tautologically!

Thanks,

N

Too long to tell the story. Also, its "every port of refuge has price."

It sure sucks to be the first wife in a SS06 story!!

At times it felt like a NASCAR show where the diver holds up every sponsors product and extols its wonderful attributes. It does not add anything to go into details as to the make, model and retailer of your shop vac. Yes Rigid makes a nice one but it add nothing to the story. Digressing a little when is one of your guys going to get a ROUSH Stage 3?

Revenge should always be proportionate to the offence and the offender. The divorce settlement was fine, he let her have all of her stuff and a lot of money. But you did not need to kill her off. She could have been a reformed slut. Finally learning growing up and have a mature life. Hell turn her into a real Danford defender, and point person out looking into possible new endeavors for his companies. It would be her penitence to always be working for his company but never for him.

@ deadone Against my 5 stars votes for the most SS06's story (because of the other writers' quality level), I wrote in my many comments SS06 likes getting dead or getting suicide his cheating wife characters in his stories. It happens several times, but there is not in his every story. Not all people remain same from 25 years old to 45 years old, some people can learn from their mistake, but it is right not every people. BTW SS06 has an excellent reconcilation story, where the cheating exwife learnt after divorce and she becomes better personality and she will meet the exhusband at her job in a Hotel..........

Anyone that still listened to your ramblings gave up after your lying jag on Savannah. Sorry to be the one to tell you old chap, but the last parishioner left the chapel weeks ago. With noone left to hear your sermon, it has become laughable and embarrassing.

If somebody injure me, I do not give it up moreover I go on writing.....

Thank you for offend me I will write more comments.

If you mix black and white, you get gray. The shadows and light give perspective. I don't need someone to be the perma-goat to feel sorry for them. I don't need someone to be an incredible bitch to dislike them.

I have three favorite stories from the Stang:

Hindsite (Most realistic)

Hostile Takeover (Fun supernatural ride)

and Curiosity (The quintessential 'I fucked someone else now lets get over it, umkay?' story)

(I am unfairly leaving out OIND GILF because it's a totally separate animal and I'd love to see him do more of that)

Hindsite bumped up to the top of my list BECAUSE the wife didn't need cock to be dissatisfied with her marriage. She had some depth to her. She had enough self reflection to see that she was the villain of the piece and it was of her own creation and she regretted it. Too many of Stang's villainesses lack that element and it makes them one dimensional.

So I second the fact that the Dumb Pussy started to develop character, but not enough. She reminded me a bit of that dumb bitch in the Art Story.

But on the other, the men in Stang's stories are either saints or assholes. It's hard to get the gain right. Lord knows I've made that mistake a number of times.

For the life of me, I don't recall if this felt long to me or not. (He seems to save his terseness for his comments.....) Usually, I'm having so much fun watching the characters be the characters that I lose myself in the flow of the words. But sometimes he drags. (I seem to wax loquacious in the comments. Sigh)

@ Kind FD45 Majority of SS06's stories are NOT NEAR TO LIFE STORIES. These stories are very humorous or sometime sad fable stories. He wrote 2 Sci Fi & Fantasy stories to show everybody he write fables and many of his readers complain his characters are not near to life. Yes his characters are the bulding bricks of the the fable stories. If you want to read near to life characters in a good near to life story you should read Girlinthemoon's newer story "Wicked". A story will not be good because it is near to life. (A excellent example from the English literature) Is Swift wrong Author with the 4 chapters of the Gulliver? Is not a satyre good literature????? A good fable story, satire or fantasy story IS EQUAL FOR ME to a near to life story. BTW My favorite SS06 story is "Forever gone, forever you". A fantastic fable story, which tells us that the TRUE FATHER is who brings up the children WELL and not the biological father is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I read that story I knew SS06 writes excellent fable stories so I was not frustated to read it and at the last humorous beggar scen gives THE KEY for the all story and I have reread that scen more than 20 times since and I laugh on it nowdays. A fable story's characters are not 100% near to life. The near to life characters weaken the massege of the fable story. The trobadour has an excellent fable story, the characters are nearer to the life than SS06's characters are and the North American readers do not understand the message of that story "Wife Gets Caught". Poor Author had to write a sequel story "Wife Gets Even". The second story gets more stars then the first, but poor Author should have used time travel to look at SS06's characters (I think he died). SS06 uses such characters that help understanding the massege of his stories. The majority of his readers understand his massege well, moreover "Forever Gone, Forever You" is understood well by many readers and in the comment parts half of the posters understand well his massege.

Poor The troubadour whith his fable story he gets many angry posters with angry comments, because he used near to life characters for a fable story.............

I've seen this response from you before. However, as a matter of preference, I do not always accept that. Either I do no always want a fable (a matter of personal preference) or I feel that using 'fable' is another way to excuse sloppy writing.

This is not to say Stang has sloppy writing. He doesn't. But he's also shown he can do stories with more delicacy and I would prefer to encourage that.

@ FD45 There is a Hungarian way of saying I try to translate it: Both things taste of the people and the slaps may be different. I understand a reader may have his/her own taste about stories, music, movies, etc.. For me it does not problem. However the litarature form itself wants some specialties which will lose the character type change. FrancisMacomber's fantastic satire story "The Stairway to Heaven" is super hyper humorouse with the NOT near to life characters. The near to life characters would have killed the humor from that satire story and itself the story, as it has happened in a 1thinkingman's last satire (It was miserable) with the near to life characters.

I am very glad your friendly discusing style, I hope we will discuss about stories and authors here on Literotica later as well.

@FD45 I am sorry my sentence is better: However the litarature form itself wants some specialties which will lose with the character type change.

Your writing is getting much much better. I have read many of your stories (granted, the ones I read most are the ones where the cuckold gets his revenge) and have noticed a remarkable improvement in style and grace with your writings. Please continue to impress us as you have been doing. Thanks.

Yet another wonderful story and yet another reason as to why you are one of my favorite authors. Yes there were some spelling and grammar errors, but far less than what you told us, the readers, to expect. You are a brilliant writer even without an editor, and we wait impatiently for your next incredible tale.

Truth be told I find very few on SS06's characters to be non-real - unusual yes but they almost all are people I have seen or know or have heard about in RL. Scary but true.

Fortunately for all of us the deepest, most tragically flawed are not very common - they do exist. I mean what Monster -In-Laws on TV these days (I have made the mistake of having it on as white noise then caught a few minutes before running away) - THOSE are unreal scary people and they exist, even if they do push to extremes. Or watch Survivor, all you have to do is see commercials for that one to see humanity at its basest. Some people just plain SUCK.

Thanks SS for the story - nice work

is the love story of Danford and JoAnne. Some of the other characters are not very believable and some of the other plot elements aren't woven to well together. The grand bitch of the story seems based on actual people as a composite with her own ending a bit too tidy. I gave the overall story a 4 and had tears in my eyes during the 6th section---ain't love grand.

1. For whatever reason, "But it's Skyrim," made me laugh out loud. Actually, that whole scene with Jo Anne walking in on Dan in his Skyrim was entertaining while having a very true-to-life feel to it.

2. Constance's banal malice and sheer stupidity made her seem a caricature rather than an actual person.

3. That said, her observation about Jo Anne placing herself in front of Dan protectively was a nice touch.

4. I disliked that song lyrics were interspersed throughout as "investigator's notes". It seemed like a heavy-handed breaking of the fourth wall (or whatever that gets called in literature).

From the point at the beginning of the two and a half hour flight that they told us we could turn on laptops, until final approach when we had to turn them off I read this....and still wasn't done. Personal business prevented me from finishing it but I did finish today. A bit on the long side but well worth the time spent reading it.

I think you could have improved it by making it shorter, but the only parts I would have cut without remorse were the reports that served only to get the song lyrics into the story.

As always I enjoyed your work, not your best, but definitely not your worst.

We're so impressed. He's been telling us about it for weeks. Perhaps he's never left mom's basement before? I bet he's a real life hitman. He's so coolio.

And how's your sister, nonce?

Only sister or mom I know are yours. Must be a tough mutha to type shit on a keyboard from his jail cell, when his horny cell mate allows him to that is, while I fuck his mom and sister into submission.

Illiterate retard.

You had me bothered when he was wavering over taking Connie back while she was in jail. I was going to make it a favorite story but they would not let me sign in. I love that song so the interruptions for it did not bother me. Thank you so much for writing. Bfreetorun

Interesting story. I agree with HVa that Connie's character development was excellent; she never left high school. Good work SS06.

As always its good, wish I could write but I have no creative geenes at all. Please keep it up.

THANKS

saxon_hart is one funny motherfucker....haha.

amazing shit ss06 btw.

Could the protagonist be any more shallow and stupid?

"The guy was a pro football player, who ended up going to Afghanistan. One of the guys he went to college with was over there and when he heard about it, he signed up to."

That's his justification for going to someone else's country to kill them?

When are Americans going to realize that the only people that they need to fight, for their freedom and justice, is other Americans. As a Black American, the only people me or my ancestors have ever needed to fight for freedom and justice, is white Americans. It's true for poor whites as well. The predators are here among us

Some how the rich and powerful in this country manage to convince the poor (and the stupid, or merely blood-thirsty) the they need to kill and die, so that the rich and powerful can exploit non-white/christian people's land, resources and labor.

And Stang' is their cheerleader!

Robert

As a white American I think you sound like a moron for attempting to make a story about a cheating bitch into a racial issue.

She probably would have lived longer. Good story. I enjoyed reading it.

I never for a moment thought there was any credence to her being the ringleader.

She asked Todd how much she would be getting. If she was the ringleader SHE would be telling HIM how much HE was getting!

Coinnie, the mean spoiled little girl, should at least have spent a couple of years in prison. She could have charmed the male guards and the dykes and made out well although would have come out pregnant. I love the Eagles, my favorite group (yes, I am old) and like that song. I think Kenny Rogers did a cut of it once, also. Thanks for writing, Stang.

The BEST real payback is to have a better life after you get rid of the cheater! Try walking into your apartment with your wife laying on the floor with her boyfriend working away on top! Payback is living a better life, believe me! Been There - Done That - Got TWO T-Shirts! 5 STARS!

You mentioned the video game in this story, but then just dropped it. It would have been a good way to start him appreciating her a lot sooner. Wouldn't have hurt to add more details about his spending time with Samantha either. Good story anyway and well worth the five-star rating I gave it. The cheating slut got burned and the husband came out ok in the end. Jo jo and Samantha got the husband and father they deserved as well. Gotta love a happy ending after all.

Loved it. The GI thing was ggod. I had tears at the end nice touch, I did Nam and got popped but it all worked out and met my wife latter when I was in college. . Great ending except he didn't ask Jo Ann specifically to marry him. I can see they got married but it would have been a nice touch. Actually it was one of the best stories I've read. and better than all of your other stories some of which were very good, I like burn the bitch and murder and mayhem, but this was a love story and Connie got what she deserved. The asshole deserved more pain, lots more. Do more like this, but different. He was no wimp, I dislike wimp stories when the guy makes up with a cheating wife.

Just terrific keep writing and I'll watch for you.

When someone told me that my ex was cheating on me, I woke up and started paying close attention to her 'girl's night out' and "Keep an eye on the kids for a while, honey. Jan/Barb/Sandy wants me to stop over to work on the schedule for this or that. It should only be an hour or two.) When I privately asked our next door neighbor's wife if she'd be available to watch the kids at a moments' notice, she looked at me and said, "You're finally onto her, aren't you? It's about time." After agreeing to watch the kids, she gave me additional information that she'd gotten from some of her friends. She said that she'd talked to my cheating slut about the things she'd heard and she hadn't denied any of them... just said they didn't mean anything and weren't hurting me but she'd be more careful.

It wasn't long before I caught her fucking one of them in our bed and got some good iPhone video of them in action. When he got in my face, I punched him out and then I threw her physically out into the front lawn, stark naked with just the sheet that she was hanging onto. I spent the next five plus years fucking two of the ex wives of her former lovers and the sexy wife and her just as sexy divorced sister of another of her boyfriends. Having four women to fuck, who knew that I was fucking the others was as good as being a Mormon. It's been fourteen years and two of them now live with me.

A lot of constance's about, you have to do homework if you want it right. Too much of her type in this world. Now, a world with plenty more jo jo's and Dan's morals and spirit would be something. What is it with people who behave like constance? She sought a lot but didn't give any thought about the consequences of how she was going to get it, nor the devastation she left behind. I just don't get it.

Annony! He's just an insane fag who sucks and swallows.

Even though it was almost telegraphed as to what would happen next.

One of my favorite stories, from one of my favorite authors.

Kudos

Wayne

One of your better efforts!

Not single thing is wrong with this one. Probably your best. five easy stars

It was...actually a good story. I usually feel frustrated beyond belief at the end...you usually Matt Moreau us and have him take the bitch back, or wimp out somehow. But...this was good

He didn't even try to eat her out after she had been with Todd. Not sure how much he ever really loved her. Only 4 stars since Danford acted all hurt, without even trying to meet Constance halfway.

Enjoyed the story very much. The tune was playing so hard in my head i had to listen to it before i wrote this. Being what some would call 'an old guy' I loved the Eagles music AND this story.

Thanks.

A great story told well.

Seek psychological help, you raving fucking lunatic