All Comments on 'M and H Ch. 01'

Nice start

it was good. even intro what kind of couple they are, was ok. the body of the story was a bit cold, you could not feel the tension, passion, the feelings... then an aprupt end of the main course and a completly cold short end. he not even seemed to get horny he rather edits the movie which looks like is his real passion. as for her, I have eaten, thanks and give the name of the recipe. their was no erotic atmosphere somehow, the idea was nice to see a couple go together on a cruise into unknown land but it feels already that they are maybe side by side but not toghether in this journy.

i agree with the guy above. Why do we care about these people? The story seemed cold, no emotion. Just mechanical sex.

Keep this one on file and work on it here and there. It has great potential. You just need to bring emotion and warmth into it.

Like where was the build up? Where were the discussions about whether they would or would not allow her to have sex with other guys? Where was the inner turmoil between jealousy and being turned on for the guy?

Where were the situations where she looked into her husbands eyes and told him how intense it felt to have such big cocks on her and how much better they felt than his?

Where was the discussion about their feelings on that, like how she loved only him but these guys fucked her like she had never been fucked before and if he was OK with it, she wanted to fuck them a lot more. You touched on that but it was unemotional. You get the idea.