All Comments on 'Magazine Quality'

MGM I always enjoy your stories and this one is a little gem.

Thank you.

I love reading your stuff. Even though it was totally unbelievable that a few weeks of martial arts and weight training could any difference at all, I didn't care. It was a fun read.

Not a bad story but character depth was lacking (mostly bland stereotypes) and plot held no surprises/foreshadowing. I've read some of your other stuff and see potential; use your obvious writing skills to take some chances and break away from cardboard cutout story-lines/characters.

Another very good story from a very good writer. Love happy endings!

I really liked the first half or two thirds of this story. I thought it was going to be another story about a guy getting the blonde goddess of his dreams, but then you threw the part about the car wreck in and added to the depth of the storyline. The progress of Patrick and Karen's relationship was such a pleasure to read and then.... it all just faded into stereotypical hogwash.

Jennifer shows up at the apartment, drops her clothes and poor Patrick, being a man and all, just can't find it in himself to resist her and has sex. And you can Clintonize it all you want, but even though it was brief and apparently no fun, it was still sex. So trying to use lines such as Karen's mother saying "It sounds like you didn't even really have sex with that girl?" and then Patrick saying that "It just happened" , as if he were just an innocent victim, are just lame.

THEN, just to even things out, you had to have Karen get raped. Why? So she would be able to sympathize more with Patrick and understand about things sometimes happening that are just beyond our control? I just didn't get the point of that whole part and felt that her going out with Terry to begin with was just ridiculous.

Sorry, I hate being so critical, but I just really enjoyed the way this story started out, it had so much potential, and then it just went south so fast that I was very, very disappointed.

I loved it.

to enjoy an ending like that. You are fast becoming a benchmark for quality writing.

Good Job! Thanks

For "Softkisses". As always, I appreciate critiques. Of course I could keep the story pleasant, the main character decides on Karen and they live happily ever after.

But that is not a story, real life is pain, trauma, tragedy, periods of upset, setback. Real life is overcoming that which is sure to occur sooner or later to reach the point of happiness.

I wanted to deal more heavily with the issue of her being forced, but the female in me did not come out, thus I could not.

Some authors will understand my saying that.

Rape is a trauma that only those suffering can truly understand, with it being the first time likely the very worst of all.

I do know that no real man would ever reject a woman just because of that situation. Still, a relationship as I describe now faces an uphill battle.

I did not do that part justice, but then every story I ever post, I find myself wanting it back to rewrite, thus far they are never good enough.

Some writers should understand me saying that, also.

As far as the "Clinton" line? It popped into my head, and I just could not stop myself...LoL. I knew I would get poked fot that, too.

Thank you,

MGM

Though some readers may criticise some aspects of this Story, I have no qualms concerning your inclusion of that rape Karen had been forced to endure by the character Terry and his friend; this event provided the catalyst for Patrick to become a man and show his true love for Karen. The Story then became real to the reader, after that event. Your skill as an author is manifest by the way you brought it all together.

My thanks to you.

Excellent writing.... I always look for your stories now. Almost always high quality.

None if it is implausible -

None of it is really all that contrived - the only hole is where Terry got to - the bikers looking for him makes it easy to see why he is completely gone after getting beat - but you still gotta wonder he is a pathological type - so rational behavior is not likely to hold - so it left me kinda wanting more closure with him.

But your story and a good one thanks -

Patrick falling for dream slut while girlfriend was out of town just about destroyed two families. The one good thing is that Terry left school in disgrace and hopefully stopped his bullying of other students. He got the right lady in the end :-)

... with a dull finish. I'm in full agreement with softkisses, The first two thirds were great, the last third was mediocre and contrived. Jennifer coming on to him was predictable and, in some ways, so was Karen going out with Terry in revenge... even if it was monumentally stupid. Karen was a smart girl, she knew what Terry was like. There were other ways to get back at Patrick, other guys she could have easily dated to make him feel just as bad, hence why it felt formulaic. As soon as Patrick saw her getting into the car with Terry I knew he was going to fuck her and my opinion of the story dropped sharply. Then the inevitable rumors, and her dropping out of college, and Patrick getting karate lessons and paying him back... Meh.

Such a shame. It was such a sweet romance, him seeing the real treasure he had in Karen who adored him. Yeah, it's nice they got married in the end but by that time the hoops they'd had to jump through made it far less satisfying a conclusion. Women (and men, for that matter) are tremendously affected by sexual assault. It marks them, changes them for the entire rest of their lives. It should never be taken lightly or used as a contrived plot device. She's going to need years of therapy to come to terms with it. Nightmares, mood swings, possible flashbacks, possible reactionary frigidity or even promiscuity... You don't just get raped then happily run off and get married to your stupid boyfriend and live happily ever after, like having sex with him is going to erase what was done to her. Just imagine what their wedding night will be like, chock full of hesitation and premature ejaculations and apologies and probably crying as the memories come back. Yay, wedded bliss. For the rest of her life she's going to know and have to deal with the fact that her first sexual encounter was a brutal rape. Feeling "dirty" is the least of the problems these two are going to have.

MGM tainted their romance with this contrived plot device then cheapened it by treating it lightly and ignoring the after effects. This was not well done and it really lessened the quality of the story. This went from one of my favorite MGM stories to one of my least favorite.

Karen likes the bad boys- her go to move is to date them when she gets po’d at her soon to be husband. This marriage won’t last.

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