by Alex De Kok
... well told. It is a relief to read a story which is grammatically correct. Just one small criticism: when Jim says that on a whim he put the Coltin his belt, it was obvious that the showdown with Calloway would happen while they were out of their home.
As one who dabbles in writing myself, I congratulate you on putting together a good plot, well defined characters, a touch of gentle erotica, and a fine use of good, literate English. That combination is not easy to manage, yet this looks effortless (I know that it is NOT like that). I would, and if I'm lucky, will, read more from you.
Great story - well written and lovable, if a little predictable. In my opinion, nothing wrong with that! Just one correction - during their first lovemaking, Libby calls Jim by "Tom". It's confusing and could be misinterpreted. Other than that, it's wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the 'heads up' on the Jim/Tom mix-up. No excuses, I screwed up! A corrected version has been submitted and should appear seamlessly in a day or three.
Alex
Well-written, romantic and (for a pleasant change) realistic and historically accurate. Thanks!
Well done, nicely written and no gaffs about the historical period. Are you a reenactor perchance? Good tight plot and the sex is well written too. Thanks for a great read!
You describe how our hero teaches his new bride how to fire his "colt" pistol and how to load it with ball, powder and percussion caps. In the 1880's certainly all pistols used cartridges (i.e. "bullets") and the single shot weapons using ball and powder were heading for museums. Even if this were not the case there is no way that Libby could fire successive shots into Calloway from a ball and powder weapon. Drop the reference to teaching Libby how to load a ball, powder and percussion cap weapon and you'll be OK.
Yes, anonymous, few percussion revolvers were made after the 1860s (in the USA anyway) but percussion revolvers were in use right up ro the Great War. People could not afford to give u a good pistol because there were better ones available. My grandfather was still carrying his Adams revolver when my father was born in 1906. My cousins still have it and I played with it as a child.
The gun described at the beginning of this story does indeed use a cap and ball:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colt_1851_Navy_Revolver
this is a cap and ball pistol that showed up around the end of the Civil War.\. If my memory is working right it was a 12 cylinder rather than the "6 \of the "he day
the only problem here is i gave your other stories i liked 5 stars and i like this one even more.
This story was amazingly written and has a great plot. It's completely original and I enjoyed it very much. The sex included was gentle and realistic, unlike all the other erotic stories I have encountered. I expect more stories like this, for this was wonderful.
Good Story -The story could easily be continued which would help with more character development. But a very good start to what could be along story.
I always wonder why "Anonymous" attempts put down others
well written. plot driven. and just enough historical intrigue to keep it interesting.
thank you
This was a lovely tale. I'm a romantic at heart and this played right to me. The mechanics of the writing was well done. If there were any grammatical or spelling issues, I didn't notice. I cared about the characters. This sounds like it could be the start of Little House on the Prairie.
This is not the first story of yours I've read, and won't be the last.
Anonymous is negative because they are jealous of your abilities. They are never able to point to one of their stories as an example of "good" writing.
Thank you for this lovely story.
Very Nice story.I liked the overall stories concept. But the part about libby & Jim getting intimate just 2nd night of getting married felt a little rushed.You could've just portrayed that part you know kind of getting to know more about each other.Taking slow one thing at a time.Just like arranged marriage they are almost strangers & that takes time to adjust & Trust each other than getting physical intimacy.
Ok anyways i don't what the mind set of people was during that time period & its your story. Just would've loved to read about slow romance building up.
I've read this story several times, you think maybe I like it! Its beautiful! Thank you for this gift of words:-)
I agree that a slow romance would have been fun to read. However, in many ways this story was far more accurate to the mindset of the time.
Sharing a bed was synonymous with sex and a wife giving her man nookie was literally seen as a wife's duty, something to be done regularly even if unpleasant. She gave in so quickly for those two reasons, as far as I see it. If he was to use the bed with her there was to be nookie. :-P
The idea of her feeling a need to push herself actually makes more sense than the slow build up that we often think of today. Today you often build slowly to sex but before marriage, before that commitment. We also don't have the same cultural values, as a whole, that sex is a requisite duty of marriage. We all assume you'd want to (I think). If the sex is unpleasant you wouldn't marry. (There's flaws with that outlook and approach but that's a discussion for another time and probably another site. :-)
I really enjoyed that he let her set the pace because that is not really period but shows him to be solid.
Enjoyed your story very much. I will be checking out the others tonight.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this fine story!
Sadly I could only give 5 🌟 for it, wish it could be more!
Dearest Alex De Kok,
Good story, good writing, good detail, good characters. Overall this is worth reading, possibly, re-reading.
GG
Life back then was much more austere than this story describes. I remember reading a true account of a couple that was very fond of each other. When they were married 12 years her husband kissed his wife for the first time ever.
'tis one you must be proud of.. Those were simpler times and to some harder times. It should come to no surprise that many wives were 'Soiled Doves'. I often wonder if we haven't become too soft as a nation. I am 71, wife died some time back and I am lonely but there are few that are interested in a man such as I. The dating sites seem to only be a trap for my money.
Time were simpler then when $50 could easily be the total cash needed as there were gardens and game. Later people started keeping cows for milk and calves for market and beef. Yes I am a country boy of sorts.
Ahem, should any lady be interested in a man such as i, you can contact me through the site. Shameless advertising ---
A good tale of the old west. Nice little summary for the ending. I'm the one who appreciates a proper finish to a story. :-)
Reread this and it was as good as the first time. Good enough to publish. Thanks for sharing.
I think you captured the spirit of the women in the west more than you know. She had made up her mind to be a wife and everything that entailed and was determined to make the most of it. My grandmother raised ten kids in a soddie in western Kansas. They were tough women. Their lot in life and work was every bit as hard as their husbands. We tend to hear of the hardships, but there was genuine partnership and love there too.
I’d have dearly liked this to be at least twice as long, but as the song goes “We don’t always get what we wish for”, good story, good characters, but the scene setting at times was a bit thin, but well worth a 5/5.
I worked with a man who’s grandmother was married as such. She came into town as planned on Thursday. The minister had several young men to meet her on Friday she choose one and they were married for 62 years.