All Comments on 'Marjam Ch. 02'

At the very start the author had me intrigued and interested until the “aphrodisiac tea” and I thought -- oh boy, here we go, another fantasy stroke story. I then realized I had no idea why Amanda (the character) would want to dance at the club if she was so worried about her boyfriend seeing her??? Did I misread something? Some important plausible reason? The character kept saying she was full of anxiety that her boyfriend would recognize her, yet at other times seemed to want him to do just that. I got confused about her motivation.

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SwedishAmanda writing style is very good (some of the best technique I’ve read here at LIT), and yes, I understand this is a fantasy, somehow a virgin girl becoming a stripper, when wanting to become a slut slave, but... okay, suspension of disbelief.

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I guess what I’m trying to say is that (especially with the high technical quality of the writing) at the beginning of the story, I thought there was a lot of potential for really good story, with a lot of depth to the character and then, like most stories here at LIT, the character’s depth was pushed aside in order to describe the stroke element in the story, which I thought wasn’t all that hot (yes, that’s personal taste and not really a criticism, although I’d like to thank Amanda for not giving detailed dimensions to the HUGE black cock. Dimensions in stories always make me feel so inadequate!)

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If there was more depth to the main character, I think this could have been a very good story. As mentioned a couple times, SwedishAmanda's writing technique is very good. I hope if there’s a sequel the character of Amanda will be given more depth, her motivations will be explained better, and there will be more conflict within her... her viginity and self-esteem vs. her excitement at being a slut slave... something like that.