Mary and Sarah

"I guess Lewis saw Tony was not breathing and started doing CPR. The other guys got the crash kit and started working on Tony. It was chaos Sarah, just awful-he had no pulse! Tony was flat-lined! They shocked him over and over -but Tony would not come back. They guys wanted to call it-but Lewis would not let them. Last I saw Tony." Mary started to tear up. "Lewis was doing CPR on Tony as they pulled the stretcher down the stairs. Lewis kept screaming at Tony "Don't you die you motherfucker! I need to kick your ass!" Mary had to stop to take a breath. "Sarah it was awful! I threw on some clothes grabbed my ID and drove here like a madman. I got stuck by that damn train crossing on 4th Ave, so by the time I got here Tony was already in. There was some mix up and they told me Tony was gone! That's when I called you-I am so sorry!"

I could only sit back on the bench. My body felt like it had run a marathon.

"Where is Tony now Mary, I need to see him."

"They are still working on him, I told them about the drugs so they have tubed him and are trying to flush out his system. Neurology is going to look at him next-we don't know how long Tony's brain was starved of oxygen. Lewis got his pulse started on the ride here-but they think Tony threw a stroke."

"My God." I put my head in my hands. "What about Lewis where is he now?"

"Lewis is in the chapel. "Mary bit her lip. "I told Lewis everything Sarah-I had too."

That is where we found him. Lewis was sitting in the front pew, staring at a stained glass window. Mary and I took a seat on either side of him.

"Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. "Lewis started, while looking straight ahead. "That was all Tony ever talked about. Sarah and the boys did this. Sarah did that. Wow did you see how Sarah looked last night. -Damn guy thought you were the only female in the world."

"Lewis listen please.." I began.

"Sarah." Lewis cut in. "Did you know Tony skipped lunch every Thursday and Friday so he could buy you fresh flowers for the weekend."

My eyes opened wide, I didn't know that. Tony had told me the flowers were left over from the office and he brought the flowers home as not to let them go to waste.

"Lewis I came to thank you for saving Tony's life. You gave me back my husband."

"Sarah is it true what Mary told me.. about.. you and her.. Tony and.." He just trailed off.

I nodded and Mary jumped in. "It was for you Lewis , for us. You, me, Tony, and Sarah-our future. No one was going to get hurt. No matter what happened --you must believe that."

Lewis never even looked up. "At first I thought it was good that we were able to pull Tony back. But after listening to what you two did-and planned to do... What you did Sarah to your own husband...now...well now I have to wonder if Tony is better off dead then in the care of a creature like you."

I gasped.

Lewis continued. "What you two planned and did is pure evil. I do not know which one of you is worse." Lewis looked at Mary. "You because you had so little respect for me and our relationship that you think I would betray Sarah's husband behind his back. Tony -a man who invited me into his home. Offered me his friendship." Lewis straighten up. "For God's sake-I sat at that at that man's table and broke bread with his family. What kind of slimy snake do you think I am?"

"And you." Lewis turned to me. "How could you do this to the father of your children? This is the coldest most wicked thing I have ever heard of a wife doing. Why didn't you just put a knife in his heart? Stab him in the back while he slept?-it would have been quicker-more merciful."

Lewis stood up and faced Mary. "May I have my ring back please."

Mary shyed back. "Lewis, please let's talk about this."

Lewis held out his hand. "Mary-I can barely stand to look at you. Will you please return the ring. It was my late grandmothers."

Mary started to cry --but pulled off the ring and placed it in his hand.

Lewis put the ring in his pocket and addressed Mary. "I will have everything of yours in my house sent to you. If you have anything of mine -please burn it. I do not want anything that ever touched you."

Lewis turned to leave --but had one final say.

"I hope God forgives both of you. Because I sure never would."

++++++++

The following weeks were worse. Tony was not getting better and still in a vegetative state. A vent was keeping him breathing. The Hospital told me I must consider a long term care facility. Tony's parents took care of our boys and I spent all my time at the hospital. Mary and I talked often, she was the only one who knew the truth and I could confide in. The turning point came after a meeting with our family attorney.

"Mary I do not how to make this decision." I cradled the phone in my shoulder.

"What did your lawyer say?"

"Tony's company is still paying his salary-using up his comp time and vacation days. But that will run out at the end of the month. If I keep on going like now, Tony's long term disability will kick in and pay enough for a halfway decent care facility for the next few years. After that it is bare Medicare payments and the boys and I are on our own."

"There must be a better option." Mary's voice came thru the phone.

"I wish that was my only choice." I responded. "If I let Tony..if I let Tony..ah.. pass before the end of the month all of his insurance plans kick in. The house mortgage is paid off, a fully funded private school and even college tuition plan for the boys. Tony even had a health plan with dental set up for us in the event of his...leaving. He really was the last boy scout-always prepared. The cash payout on his life insurance is over 2 million dollars." I was starting to tear up.

"Sarah you are going to be a millionaire!" Mary said.

"Wonderful. And all I need to do is play executioner and DNR my husband to get the blood money." I thought I was out of tears. But the thought of losing Tony was almost too much.

"Sarah listen. No one can make this decision but you. But it was an accident. A complete unforeseen freakish, out of the blue, F'n Accident-it was not anyone's fault. There is nothing you can do about that now. You must think of yourself and the boys now. What is past is done-you must think of the future. Tony may have been the last Boy Scout-but he made those plans for you! For you to enjoy yourself when he was gone. Think of what Tony would have wanted-Tony wanted you to be happy."

"Happy?" I laughed without humor. "I should take the money and go chase buff cabana boys on the beach in Aruba."

Mary got the gallows humor. "I do not know if Tony wants you to be THAT happy." she changed to a more serious tone. "You are keeping him alive Sarah-you and the machines. Time to do what you know is best."

+++++++++

That conversation was one of the reasons I was now standing in a hospital room with Tony hooked up to machines, surrounded by the hospital administrator, some lady from legal, Tony's parents, Mary, a Doctor, even some man in a rumpled suit from security. Getting the DNR was more complicated then I recall as my days as a nurse. I guess it was due to my being the proxy. I had session with legal, tons of forms to sign, even a videotape of me saying I understood the DNR would lead to the death of Tony.

"You sure this is your wish?" the lady from legal said. "You do this of your own free will and understand the consequences?"

"Yes." my voice was barely a whisper.

She nodded at the Doctor who disconnected Tony's vent tube. Tony's Mom started to silently cry. I had no more tears let. Tony's chest no longer rose and the monitor flatten out.

"OK hook him back up." the legal Lady said.

"What are you doing?" I was shocked as the Doctor hooked Tony back to the vent and his vitals returned.

The legal lady whipped out a thick sheet of papers from a file. "I am the Assistant State Attorney, and this is a court order that places all care and control of your husband's health, estate, holdings and children to his parents." She nodded to the man in the rumpled suit. "Detective -please read her her rights and place her into custody." She turned back to me. "You are under arrest for attempted manslaughter, distribution of a controlled substance, intent to.."

"NO! NO!" I cried as the Detective put my hands behind my back, then he started to recite some monotone stuff about attorneys and rights as he handcuffed me.

"I am so sorry Sarah." Mary broke in, trying to hug me but kept away by the Detective. "Lewis went to the police. Lewis told them everything. They arrested me. Said I was going to forfeit my license, go to jail, I was to lose everything-unless I cooperated with them. They made me tell the whole story." Mary had tears in her eyes. "The plan, the drugs, your reservations at the Hilton-they taped all our phone calls!" Mary slumped down in the only chair in the room. "But it's going to be OK Sarah. They said we would get a deal -we are going to be OK."

The legal lady/ASA looked at the Detective who smirked a bit before he spoke.

"Mary I might have fibbed a bit on that one. The deal approved by the ASA was only for you. I tend to stretch the truth when dealing with scumbags who try to poison people. I hope Sarah gets a good legal aid lawyer-I do not think Tony's folks here are going help out much with attorney fees."

At that Tony's mother came alive. She actually spit on me from across her place at Tony's bed! The grandmother to my children, the lady who I thought of as my second mother after my parents died-spit on me!

"You monster whore bitch!" Tony's mother voice was like icy fire. "We couldn't believe you could do this to our son-the father of your children! They made us listen to the tapes! Vacation in ARUBA on my SON'S blood money! I pray you go someplace hotter than Aruba when your time comes you fuckwad slut!" Her eyes were blazing. "If I had not just watched you right now try to kill my son with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it. What kind of sycophantic swarmy creature did my son marry! "

Tony's father tried to touch his wife's arm but she shook it off as she continued her verbal assault. "I hope you rot in prison you damn cheating harlot!" This from lady who baked me cookies and read my children bedtime stories. "You planned this like some depraved fiend-even packing him a suitcase! " I looked at her in surprise. "Yes we know about that you cold hearted cunt! Well rest assured we will take care of our son and his children. And I do mean HIS children-because I swear on my grave I will do everything in my power to see my grandchildren are not contaminated by your very sight!"

Tony's father finally pulled her to him. A female uniformed police officer entered and started escorting me out of the room, away from my husband. Mary was still saying how sorry she was, the whole ordeal hit me-Tony, jail time, never seeing my children, Mary's betrayal-everything. It was too much-it just overwhelmed me. Everything began to spin and my legs buckled.

"I hope the whore chokes on her tongue." Tony's mother said. These were last word I heard before I passed out.

++++++++

I was denied bail and on advise of my court appointed lawyer took a plea. The only deal I got was the ASA threw out some lesser charges and agreed not to pose any objection when I became eligible for parole. With good behavior I may be able to get out in time to see my youngest son graduate college. I write my boys often, but so far all the letters have come back, with Tony's mother hand written "Return to Sender" on each envelope. I do not know if Tony is alive or dead, I do know I am just dead inside without him or my children.