All Comments on 'Match Met Ch. 09'

You asked for comments, good and bad, so I'll say I like this story a lot, but an adroit editor could make it even better. That includes this chapter, which is not my favorite, although it's still very good, especially in parts.

You have a lot of raw talent, in my opinion.

Five.

I just couldn't get into their relationship. While Sawyer did do right by Kiana it seems like he also didn't allow her to mature. He speaks to he as if she as a child and she lets him, something that really irritated me throughout the whole story. Even their blow-out in this story. She is always so quick to see his side and admit she's in the wrong when hello! he was an asshole from the beginning. She gave a girl a much-needed ride home, Big Deal. I would have lied to if I knew I was dating such an irrational person. Also that dig about "any other man" and she just let him say that? What about her father? He was a good man. Anyway, congrats on another successful story. You have us thinking as always!

It seemed like Kiana had hersf a bit of a Dom. Which is kool with me.

Thanks for the story; I enjoyed reading it as I have your others. My feedback: The time changes were a bit weird. But, worst is the inclusion of Natasha and Bobby (I also don't know who Alison was). It seemed like the came out of left field and there didn't seem to be any connection other than Alison. And the ending car accident was written awkwardly. I'm guessing the point of it was to show his protectiveness, but I felt like it should have continued - what happened to her hands? - was she hurt in any other way? The tie ins are needed.

So, when is the next story? :)

You have done it again. With your brilliant writing. Five golden stars you

deserve and more. I can't ask for anything better but a perfect ending that

you always deliver. Thanks again great job.

Sorry you failed to pay attention in the previous chapters. But Alison is Declan's wife, also Sawyers sister in law. Alison is Not how Natasha and Bobby were introduced into this series. Naomi, Kianas dance instructor for over 10 years, is Natasha's sister.

Anyways! Nice ending

Thank you!

I love who Sawyer became! Great story.

9 years though??? That is quite a jump. But my beef is with the almost total change in personality... I mean yeah people can change but to revert to someone irresponsible , immature and docile? Especially when they were reasonable, different and giving and responsible? In the other chapters it was Sawyer who had his pouty immature moments and she was shown as strong and mature and gave him a run for his money. Now , there is A LOT of talk about her immaturity and his "carrying" her. True he wanted her safe, but to leave for days? And why didn't she explain her actions? If this was the same character as before she would have spoken up but now she COWERED. And what happened with His dad ? And when her dad passed she was doing the right things financially what happened? She became a dead beat??? What I liked about this was she wasn't the usual Hooters girl ( I know, I was as cliché as they came) and she was his match, but now not so much. Also I like a happy ending just as much as the next girl but this was way happy with loose strings.... its almost as if this story was a monster that you created and you got tired of it. But hey what the hell do I know? You do great work and if you keep writing it, I will keep reading it until you wise up and start selling it on Kindle..... then I have to spend money..... sigh.... money.

OK first off I love this story. And please excuse my little rant, believe me its done out of love.

I love it because you were brave enough to make these people be real... the good, the bad and the ugly.

Here goes:

I also agree that 9 years is really long time but she was young and going for her PHD so OK. But during that time, it seems that they both became in sync sexually but not so much emotionally. Kiana still seems like a 19 yr old and he seems the same. The difference is that Kiana seemed to have lost some of her character. She's really whiny and bitter about not having a wedding and a baby?? It would have been better if you showed her inner struggle about wanting those things but not being able to have them right now.. but instead she goes on and on about the 9 years.

Then... you had these random small stories within stories and introduced secondary characters that didn't really contribute anything. It would've been awesome if that news report worried Sawyer he got all overprotective, she gave her friend a ride home and then something almost happening to Kiana and her friend. And Sawyer and Kiana freaking out and realizing how short life is and that spurring them to get married.

But you when off on him getting mad for her instead of telling her she could be open and trust him even if he gets mad OR asking her what happened. And then he leaves her for 2 days, and she is depressed and is practically begging him back... There was a comment that said she wondered if he was going to kick her out of the apartment. I was like huh? Then all the things he said about her not having a job... just insensitive and wrong.. she just graduated what does he expect?! And then just random things like she has to ask permission, like when she asks if she can drive herself to the studio and he says, "Depends how long you can keep my dick in your mouth." Umm wrong. Lol hey there's nothing wrong with giving your man a little something something but that comment just wasn't appealing to me. That's not him being an alpha male that's him being an asshole.

The guy loves her, sure but has anger issues he obviously has never worked out.

And THEN what really punched me in the gut was in the wedding vows when she said "He educated her how to be a woman??!!" I get she was young they met but to say that in your wedding vows just seems a bit... JUST WRONG.

-there were alot of unresolved issues in this "epilogue". Like what happened to the strained relationship with his father?? It was a big conflict in prior chapters. And didn't he have other siblings? I don't know how I feel.. kinda depressed. Lol

I'm so sorry I'm going on and on but this story was just that good and I tend to get passionate about things I like good or bad.

Some of the things I really enjoyed was Sawyer and Kiana's sexual chemistry they seemed like a couple that's been together for a while. Hot! Your words were descriptive and I felt like I was watching the whole thing unfold. Also the scene with her in the classroom, beautiful! You can tell you took psych classes or maybe you teach??

All in all you did a good job, this epilogue missed the mark for me though. Please keep writing and take this critique for what it is because you really are VERY talented.

P.S.- Anonymous people like me probably shouldn't be allowed to comment because I've obviously said too much ;)

Much love-

-Christina

I really enjoyed this story but the last chapter felt like a different story all together. I did not recognize the sassy, spunky, mature young woman who turned into a sniveling, complacent doormat. Sawyer who was learning how to love and be mature instead of a douchebag turned into the voice of reason and responsibility. Also in the earlier chapters it seemed like he was well off, not filthy rich but nine years later he can't afford the wedding and a house. He s still paying for her engagement ring??? Her father left her enough money for school and she was independent before so why did she just up and decide to have him take care of her for almost a decade. The story was really good but the ending left me a bit baffled.

I'm confuzzled!!!!!

I'll be honest: this last chapter left me feeling disappointed. It could have been so much better.

- Sawyer had money when they first started dating. Why the frustration now? Did he get cut off from the family?

- Why did they wait so long? They could have easily married after she earned her Bachelor's. The money would have been tight but at least Kiana wouldn't have had to deal with all the questions about her ring.

- Speaking of the ring... Sawyer is still paying for a ring 9 years after the proposal?? Oh my god. How much debt do they have? How much is that ring worth? They could have had a wedding a looooong time ago if they sold that ring and paid for the ring with the difference. With the amount of time that has passed, I imagine Kiana's ring is pretty big. Can't imagine being 19 with such a massive ring. I would be afraid a classmate would try to cut my finger off if I was stupid to fall asleep.

- I find it funny that Kiana prides herself in being a smart girl and knowing what's best for her yet her friend seems to be the one with everything under control until the last 2 pages.

- Kiana didn't save any money before she stopped working. I know the economy's bad but she could have had something set aside to maintain her independence.

- There's a news report of 3 black women being murdered near Kiana's dance studio and Sawyer's concerned yet he doesn't tell her why he wants to go with her to studio nor does Kiana allow him to protect her. It would have been interesting if Kiana was walking with her friend after class and ran into the killer only to have a police stop him before anything bad happened. It would be traumatizing for Kiana but at least it would have got her to stop being so hard headed when it came to Sawyer wanting her safe,

- They still have communication problems after 9 years? It seems every time they take a step forward, they take 3 steps back. How did they manage to do this for 10 years? I would have moved on or go to couples therapy to work on communicating.

- Sawyer went from stressing about paying for everything to them being able to get married and buy a house in a year or so? They sure didn't wait to save up money.

- Why does Kiana still insist on not allowing Sawyer to be a man outside the bedroom? Sawyer seems too much of a guy to allow that. It seems he's progressed but Kiana's still 19 after all these years.

- The last 2 pages seems to rushed. Nothing happens with the news report which would have been interesting. Other people are having babies... okkaaayyy not what I came for. Kiana lies like a 16 year old when she had a valid reason for going into Providence.

I still enjoyed the story...did notice that there were changes...but still good read. Thanks again.

I like it but it went by fast but i think i liked that. It was really sweet that he want what was best for her and follow her fathers wishes.

This epilogue made me scratch my head though. Christina expressed most of what I felt when reading this but there there are so many questions still left. Nine years of an engagement didn't bother me but the apparent lack of communicating about it did. If he wanted to wait until they were both stable then he could have said they and they still could have planned. She wouldn't have felt as if their relationship was frozen and she would have had a reply for the people that asked about her engagement. Instead of looks of pity she would have gotten looks of understanding because waiting until school is over and they both have jobs is a smart thing to do. It would not help all of the feelings she felt about watching her friend get married and having kids but she would have had the bigger picture from the get go and not feel as if Sawyer would leave her with nothing.

I don't understand how they stayed together for so long without Sawyer working out any of his trust and anger issues. He watches every move she makes apparently and instead of working out why she lied to him he just left. On top of that he left after she expressed how she felt about the lack of moving forward thing. One of her biggest fears was him just leaving her and he does without a word. Then suddenly during the wedding he starts to do considerate things to show his support. He basically never let Kiana 'grow up' and Kiana lost her spunk and let him control every aspect of their relationship.

Lastly and speaking of the wedding, Sawyer went from complaining about money for a weddings and all the other bells and whistles but can suddenly afford one and a honeymoon 6 months after their argument and then they're ready for a baby immediately after that. Huh? It was like he was secretly saving money all along until he deemed they were ready. I'm sure that may not be the case but it still comes off that way and ties into the lack of trust thing.

There were parts of this story that I enjoyed and found hilarious though and I can't wait for your next story.

What a wonderful story....wish it had a sequel....I loved t heir relationship....I am going to read your other story Natasha and Bobby....

Let me say first that I applaud your courage in posting and inviting comment. There were some parts of the story that were very good, other parts that seem out of place. The story lacked continuity sometimes and that put me off a bit. Editing isn't everyone's thing, but a good one will help with the flow of the story, punctuation and catch mistakes in general, like misuse of a name. Editing is rarely perfect, but your story would be tighter and mistakes less distracting. . Writing is a process and you learn as you go along, it gets easier and more cohesive. Keep up the good work.

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I know Sawyer has issues, but it seems he never got through them. His relationship with Kiana was more like parent and child. He made the rules and set the tone of the relationship. She grew up, but he was keeping her dependent at the same time he was claiming to to help her be successful.

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Ten years engaged and the reason was money? Really? He was paying for everything anyway, which btw, he threw in her face, marrying her didn't have to be a financial burden. They didn't need to have a large wedding and the security of that move would have made a big difference to her.

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Sawyer needed to grow up. He even screamed at her about not having a job. Just how old is this jerk? Rhetorical. I don't know, I just didn't like Sawyer. He acted like a child, brooded after an argument, stayed away and HE'S the mature one? I think not. The story was wrapped and seemed rush at the end, I don't know how these two were ever 'meant' to be together. One thing for sure, he sure liked to use sex to solve everything.

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I guess the thing for me was, after all that time together, they still didn't communicate well. What the heck were they doing before the epilogue, waiting to exhale? What happened between the accident and Sawyer joining Kiana and the twins in bed. It went from her being pregnant to , boom, there it is, TWINS. It's these kinds of things that make you think, hmmm.

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Obviously you can't change this now but, how on earth could you not resolve Sawyers issues with his father? Honestly this was an okay story, it started out very well, then seemed like it was rushed around the seventh chapter. There was definitely room for improvement. 3 stars.

Great Job!! I LOVED IT!!!!!! :-)

I'm happy she didn't resolve sawyer's issues with his dad. Every book doesn't have to be so wrapped up. His dad was a crackhead. The man was never around and sawyer couldn't stand him. Should they have had a heart to heart, should a man who was on drugs for twenty years with four kids by four women suddenly have a lifetime moment with the son who hates him or maybe she could've killed him off?

I absolutely loved the series but Sawyers dramatic attitude over kiana's small lie and the way he talked down to her disappointed me. It seemed like she was too eager to please him in this chapter and the whole independent fierce juana settled for a submissive wife. I just felt that Sawyer's concerns were just too much in this chapter and i almost didn't finish it at times.

I'm on my phone it corrected it to juana instead of kiana lol. :)

Like in the last chapters she wasn't fierce anymore. That sucks.

This story is a lot better than some that are sold on Amazon. This writer should really get this story publish. The flow of the story was so good, I did not want it to end. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

I loved this story. It was at times a bit over-dramatic, but at the same time it was truth. I'm a bit of a bossy daddy's girl too and even though some readers thought that Kiana was too submissive towards the end then they clearly don't understand the character. That's what we want. We want a man to put us in our place. We fight hard and long to find the perfect match so that we can then feel comfortable giving up the fight to someone else. Her transition was more exact than in most other stories I read here. Thank you very much for sharing.

Only because kiana should have been able to tell sawyer why she was late and or he should have asked her were she went. I don't think he would have gotten upset if he know she was helping out a friend. It would only make sense for her to help her seeing as though there were two murders that just happened in that area. But all in all I love the story.

What happened to the money from selling the house? She had $75k for school, then also the house proceeds. They could've been married - with or without a big wedding. Heck...they didn't even have big families to warrant a big wedding anyway! Lol

Wow 10yrs was such a long time.. . Some silly nostalgic part of me hoped that sawyer and his family would reconcile and that his father would walk her down the aisle. I loved the scene with the wedding cake, and their wedding dance.. Thank you so much for letting me escape into this wonderful world of kiana and sawyer . I will truly miss them. Thank you

I know people go on and on about folks not being grammar nazis but how about word nazis? This story is CHOCK FULL of the wrong words being used to describe someone's facial expression, a place, a body part, a feeling, an action, etc... When I read a story I don't want to decipher it to understand it. I just want to read if. Characters were introduced, only to misteriously disappear and animosity between characters were there for no discernible reason. You are in desperate need of an editor. If you already have one, replace them and tell them to NEVER, EVER edit another story in their life. I'm not saying the story is terrible. I'm saying it lacks polish. It's a diamond that's in the ROUGH!

I feel like the ending was rushed. You present situations without clearly explaining them and they seem meaningless, they don't really add anything to the story they are there just to take space. I think that this last two chapters could have been stretched more but I liked the story overall.

I loved this story. It made me cry,laugh and love the idea of being in love.

Thanks for sharing your story

I read the entire story without leaving comment for each chapter. This story is outstanding, love the relationship between Kiana and her father. Also love how Sawyer was so carefully with Kiana wellbeing. As this story reach its conclusion I wonder about Sawyer father, but as in life we sometime cannot fix what is broken. Thank you Bain

Would've liked to see how Sawyer's father screwed him up and what of his mother? Could Sawyer and his father have reconciled? You seemed to rush the ending with Kiana becoming neurotic about marrying Sawyer and having a child. It left an after taste since she was the one out of the two that seemed emotionally tuned. Did she ever dance again?

I want to thank you for sharing your story. Good luck with future writing.

Just found this story. I enjoyed the Kiana character; strong, driven, confident, but the Sawyer character just came across as an arrogant prick and I could never warm up to him. Ironically, I think he was written to have the same qualities as Kiana, but his expression of those qualities failed. I had a difficult time believing that Kiana would have lasted past the first intimate encounter. Still, a fun story and helps me captive, so it gets a positive star rating.