by rockandroller
Great story, I loved the internal dialogue, particularly the depth of it. Keep it up.
I can see this one running and running.
I really like the characters, and your style of writing.
Thanks.
Excellent, so well written and so very believeable! Can't wait for the sybian to cum into play, pun intended!
I don't know where you're going with this, but it's a phenominal beginning! Better by far than my own stalled effort in a slightly similar genre. (Tuesday, Ch 1, if you're curious about the tale I refer to)
Very rich character especially given the length of this chapter.
I can hear the song in my mind. Sexual awakening in the young is like a hard punch to the gut. Finding a fucking machine, not quite in vogue when I was a young guy, adds a whole new chapter to this age old rite. Times change, but people don't. We all just LOVE sex. Smooth start Jim.