Mean Girls Reunion Finale

March 2, 2014

"What the hell?" That was probably not the best way to greet Rachel McAdams.

But when she suddenly appeared at my front door, near my house, on my day off before the biggest day of my career -- a day she couldn't be a part of -- I gave myself some leeway.

"Hello right back," Rachel said before making her way in. "You didn't answer your phone, so I thought I'd call on you here."

"I had it turned off. For my day off," I informed her. "And how do you even know my number?"

"Amanda squealed on you," Rachel told me, earning my strict attention. "I could have called your bosses, but I needed to talk to you before I see them."

"See them? For what?" I asked as if I didn't suspect. Comprehending was another matter.

"I changed my mind," she went on. "I want to be part of your reunion. So I made time to get off my movie and come by tomorrow. I know this is last second, and you've probably made all kinds of plans to go on without me. That's why I want you to make them put me in."

"Me?" I asked inadequately. "I....don't have that kind of power. Just talk directly to my bosses. Why would they refuse you?"

"They're not the ones who got everyone else on board, are they?" Rachel pointed out. "You did, if my snitch was on the level."

"You mean Amanda," I rolled my eyes.

"The point is, you got her and the others to do this. Even Lindsay," Rachel reminded me. "And that was after you hit a wall with me. So no way am I gonna be the odd one out now. I'm gonna get on there, and you're gonna help me."

I tried to get my head around it before I spoke. I didn't wait long enough, as I only had, "But it's my day off." Once I remembered my better excuses, I laid them out.

"All I did was get them to come. I'm not doing the interviews, the shoots or the costumes. What happens tomorrow.....I've got no actual part in it. I'm just a spectator. I'm sorry, but it's out of my hands now," I told her. "You don't need me to convince you to come, apparently. Just tell them you wanna do it and they'll get you in."

"They've got everything set up for Lindsay, Amanda, Lacey, Tina and Lizzy. I'm not giving them much time to fit me in. What if they can't think of anything good for me? What if there's too much they gotta change?" Rachel wondered.

"I want to do this, but I don't want to pay for a rush job. One that's kind of my fault, I know," she assured. "I need someone to look out for my interests. And my agents and managers have days off too. So....I figure the guy who made this possible, despite my best efforts, can look out for me. Help me make my case to sneak in there, and make sure I'm taken care of if it works."

"I don't think you need to be taken care of that much," I admitted. "You're the biggest star of the whole group. Biggest movie star, anyway," I qualified, disqualifying Lindsay, Tina and Lizzy -- while slightly dissing Amanda and probably Lacey. "They're not gonna turn your star power down, or let you look ridiculous. They can't afford to."

"You can never be too careful. How do you think I stayed a star after growing up?" Rachel asked.

"Nicholas Sparks?" I answered without a second thought. Luckily, Rachel laughed a little and bailed out my lack of thinking.

"That and covering my bases. Surrounding myself with reliable people, that sort of thing," Rachel explained. "You're reliable, right? I mean, you convinced the rest of them like that! You must have gone all out to get them on board, so why not do it for me, too?"

Before I answered, or admitted I didn't have much of an answer, Rachel decided to assume, "Is this because I turned you down? Okay, I could have set my schedule aside from the start, fine. But you didn't even know if this was real back then! What's done is done, so what do you want from me now? A blowjob?!"

Funny she went right to that. The only funny thing about it, really. But she kept being hilarious and said, "For all I know, that's how you got them on board! I could only put it off for so long, I guess!"

This was her being frustrated at me. Nothing else. I had to believe that. It wasn't because Amanda was that big of a snitch, or that Rachel was....that interested in my help.

Yet it had been over a month since that....experience with Lindsay. I hadn't had any with anyone else since, due to work, a few other possible factors, and the unlikelihood of topping January 2014 anytime soon. I was probably rusty by now -- but what if I wasn't?

I looked at Rachel to see if she was kidding around yet. Instead, I lingered on her annoyed but still pretty face, then down to her red polka dot dress. But when I looked down further and saw her legs in those heels, she really had my attention. Even if she didn't want it like that yet.

Despite Rachel being more accomplished than any of the Mean Girls -- on the big screen, anyway -- I'd followed everyone else a lot more, even before having sex with them. As such, it was news to me that Rachel had legs that shapely -- and had those kind of outlines on her ass.

If she could work those legs and everything else fast enough, then....

No. It seemed I learned nothing from Lindsay after all.

Blackmail comes with a cost -- even if Rachel probably wasn't into Lindsay's kind of 'payment plan.' It would be just my luck to be proven wrong the hard way. Why test that and make her think she had to blow me, so I'd do something I was already going to do? Doing that once was enough.

Plus if she was going to be in the shoot tomorrow, we really had no time to waste with blowjobs. It'd have to be a sloppy, disappointing rush job, which would be a real disappointing end to these sex escapades. And she'd have less time to prepare too, or something.

"We'll discuss other payment plans later," I finally shrugged off. "Now we've gotta get you to the office. And some other people too." Once I got my keys and my cell phone, I headed out with Rachel to start the busiest day off of my life.

March 3, 2014

So this was what five rounds of sex, incredible gambles, massive stress and 11-year-old connections yielded.

In the end, the editors and photographers settled on typical school-themed sets and costumes. The cover photo would have the Mean Girls walking down a hall, with Lizzy and Tina nearby. The lead photo for the article would have the girls sitting around a classroom and posing, while Tina was trying to teach them. And there'd be assorted individual photos in classrooms, the gym, a cafeteria, etc.

I might have tried to be more original, but that wasn't my job yet. I did my job just by getting everyone here, getting Rachel and my bosses in the same room yesterday, and helping them pitch their ideas to her. The rest was their problem -- although if this issue and these photos didn't take off, it's not like they'd take the blame. After all, getting them here was all my idea, no matter how I did it.

Still, I didn't see anything too disastrous or controversial. Maybe they saved that for their interviews, but I didn't see that part. As for the shoot, the girls weren't arguing, Lindsay wasn't making a scene, and their school clothes were in the revealing yet tasteful category.

Rachel had her old Regina George poise and command back, while Amanda and Lacey looked appropriately doting -- though I don't know how successful they were in not upstaging the Queen Bee. Maybe that was just my bias talking. In any case, Lindsay mustered up some of her old star power, Lizzy still rocked it in black, and Tina showed why the old "hot for teacher" fantasy was still so popular.

Whether I would have been more creative or not, this seemed to have all the elements that would make readers buy the issue -- or read it online. Once they did and I got credit for getting the ball rolling, the sky might be the limit after all.

There wasn't even any revealing, post-sex awkwardness between any of us on set. If these actresses felt it, they acted well enough to hide it. Maybe it helped that I only had time to greet and hug them before they had to work. But after they left for their interviews and came back for some final shots, I thought I felt some of them looking at me funny.

Perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps I should have savored it either way, since they might not ever look at me again after today. Either way, I chose to keep taking a victory lap in my head.

When it was exhausted and everyone else was changed and ready to go, I decided I needed a moment to myself before I said goodbye. I looked for the nearest storage room on the lot we were shooting at, then went in, closed it up and took it all in.

It was over. I did what I set out to do. And it looked like I did it just fine. Maybe I'd get to do other, more important things just fine too. All because of a hair brained idea that paid off in ways I....never imagined. Well, maybe not never.

I got to live a whole bunch of dreams and get away with it. Personally and now professionally. If that didn't call for a non-professional fist pump, and jumping up and down with silent cheers, nothing did.

"Should have saved that for the blooper reel," I stopped jumping around to hear.

While I was distracted, it seemed Tina had entered the room. She was back in the regular blue dress she had on before the shoot. Yet while she didn't have her glasses, her legs still had those tempting stockings on. But the time to notice that stuff had passed. "There are some things that even web exclusives aren't ready for," I joked to distract myself.

"Touche. So, you did it!" Tina noted, with a congratulatory slap to the shoulder. "You gave a fake high school their older, bitchy dictators back for a day. Good for you!"

"Was it good for you too?" I let get away from me, before I cleared up, "Seeing the dictators, I mean. Did you have fun?"

"Yep. Absence from the world of fake teaching does make the heart grow fonder," Tina commented. "Applies to a lot of things you haven't seen for 10 years. At least that's what I've noticed."

"A lot of that going around," I had to admit.

"Well, who knows if that'll be the case in 2024," Tina said. "I'll probably see some of them again a lot sooner. I hope so, anyway. Others....I'm not so sure about, but I'm hopeful." As I tried to figure out who she was talking about, she continued, "But others....I'm sure they'll be just fine either way."

I wanted to joke and say something about Lindsay, in case Tina was talking about her -- and in case she wasn't. But I still wasn't at a place where I could mock Lindsay without having....revealing flashbacks. Better to be sincere in front of Tina. "They will be now," I assured.

"In any case, I'm glad I was here. I learned a lot," Tina stated. "My co-creation is still going strong after 10 years. I'm sure your creation today will have some legs too."

"From one leggy creator to another, thanks," I went to there. Although that should have made me awkward -- so much of this should have, really -- I was more at ease in Tina's presence than not. Probably because I might not be in it again. And now the awkwardness set in a little. "Seriously, thanks for coming," I said less confidently.

"Same here," Tina replied, then slapped my other shoulder. "There, all even again," she explained. Although this might have been a veiled reference to our last meeting -- and its sexy context -- I still laughed like normal. Then when she went over and hugged me, I hugged back like normal.

When she broke from me and pecked my lips, I still looked normal -- I assumed. When I went on instinct and pecked her right back, she looked normal. Before I could have an overdue normal freak out, we wound up pecking each other. Then it sunk into a nice, normal extended kiss -- leaving the less than normal circumstances aside.

Of all the less than normal circumstances I could have pointed out -- like her being married, although it barely stopped me before -- I settled on reminding her, "There are people outside," while I still could.

"We'll have to cover our noisy mouths, then," Tina reasoned. Kissing me then certainly kept me quiet -- and made my moans easier to ignore.

I didn't know how far this was gonna go, how to keep this quiet, or whether the door was even locked. All I could make myself do was keep kissing Tina. Instinct helped me put my hands on her waist, while hers were locked on my face.

Once our tongues joined in, my hands went lower down her dress. My left one lifted it up and went to the top of her stocking, rubbing it and the top of her leg. Tina's left hand went to the back of my neck while her right drifted down my body too.

I felt my moans getting deeper, but her lips and tongue kept them muffled enough for the outside world -- hopefully. It did get harder when I felt Tina's hand on my zipper -- and remembered the good it could do. To distract myself, I put my left hand under her dress, hoping to remind her of its talents.

Tina unzipped me before I got to her underwear. Right as my fingers traced her covered center, hers reached to pull out my cock. Both our moans got louder and we had to break the kiss, yet our fingers went to work and made us have to cover our mouths again.

I slid a finger into her panties, yet Tina topped me by pumping my shaft and gliding her thumb over my head. In return, my free hand went to cup her right breast, while my occupied one got closer to her opening. Just as I slid over her lips below, her lips above suckled on mine, distracting me as she seemed to be turning me around.

I was standing straight with Tina right next to me, so she only used her right hand to turn my head and kiss me again. Before I could move my body, her tongue plunged right into my mouth as her right hand stroked the back of my head -- and her left worked its magic below again. With that in mind, I went with it and merely reached my left hand over to her pussy.

Before I could get there, I felt something funny on my cock. Something other than Tina stroking my shaft. This feeling was wetter and warmer on my head....and it wasn't coming from Tina. How could it? But who could?

The answer was Lizzy Caplan.

Yet I only saw Lizzy on her knees, with her mouth on my head, for one second. Tina turned my head back to her and kissed me, drowning out my "What the fuck?!" reaction. Lizzy's tongue and Tina's hand on me helped too.

But Tina did have to break eventually, and I got a "What" out before Lizzy's tongue reached my underside. For good measure, Tina's hand went down to my balls. At that point, the memories of how good these things were the first time -- and how they were happening again at the same time -- drowned out my need to know why.

"We're good?" Tina asked me at my most vulnerable. I could only nod, but Tina pecked my lips and Lizzy pecked my cock anyway. "Good. Sit down."

I nearly got enough strength back to ask what she meant. But when I saw a chair not far away from Lizzy, it seemed pointless. She really had been sneaky coming in here while Tina distracted me. Might as well sit down and see the payoff.

I went over to the chair, not bothering to put my cock back in my pants, or even take my pants off. Lizzy followed and dropped back to her knees, while Tina stood next to me. She lifted up her dress, and I saw how I would be able to cover my moans this time. Tina might have more trouble, however.

When Lizzy put her mouth halfway down my shaft, I had to risk it.

After watching Lizzy bobble on me, I turned my head and put my hands on Tina's hips. I lowered her panties halfway down her legs, then lifted her dress up to expose her bare pussy. I held her hips and the bottom of her dress, while I kissed up her leg and slid my tongue from her thigh to her opening.

I used my tongue right on cue, given how Lizzy licked all the way from my sack to my head. My groans vibrated onto Tina, which made her have to cover her moaning mouth. Soon, I was able to lick and suckle Tina with the same rhythm that Lizzy was suckling me. I even tried to very lightly fuck her mouth in tune with my tongue fucking Tina.

Lizzy held my hips down, putting an end to that idea. However, her tongue quickly licked me up and down on one side, then she pushed my cock down to lick the other side. I gritted my teeth, nearly biting Tina in the process.

I had to hurry Tina along, or Lacey would make me blow before I could see it. With that, I took my left hand off Tina and had to hold her dress up with my right. Still, this left my left finger open to drive into her and fuck her hard, while I licked and nibbled her harder.

Tina's muffled moans got louder, but she had enough freedom to grasp the back of my head. She rubbed it and pushed it deeper onto her, as if I was going anywhere. As I licked and fucked her deeper, I felt Lizzy bobble on my shaft faster, before taking it all the way down her throat.

She swallowed me up, leaving me too breathless to eat Tina, although I could keep fucking her. When Lizzy came off, I gave my loudest moan, but put my face back on Tina to quiet down. As I got back to licking her, I felt Lizzy slowly lather up my underside, then give it a deep, slow kiss -- repeating the same pattern with my head, shaft and sack.

I wasn't as close now, although I wasn't too confident about that. Lizzy was going back to her slow, sensual cocksucking, which I wondered if we had time for. Just in case, I added my thumb on Tina, still needing her to go first. Then again, it was just between me and her, I assumed.

As I wondered how Lizzy was going to get off, she stopped bobbing on my cock and just hummed on it. She added her tongue, yet her moans were vibrating harder on me. She popped off and rubbed her lips on my head, still humming her deepest and driving me nuts.

Fitting, since it appeared she was driving herself nuts too, in lue of one of us doing it.

"You wanna take care of Lizzy?" I heard Tina dare to gasp. "Then take care of me first. Make me cum all over that beautiful mouth. Let me taste myself there before I go....or taste Lizzy too, if that's how you're gonna go."

"Might be too late," Lizzy spoke up next. "I'm doing a good job....aren't I?" she asked right before suckling my head, rapidly tonguing it and humming as she fingered herself.

"So good," I gasped.

"She deserves something for it. Give it to her after you give it to me....before she beats you to it," Tina warned. "Better get going."

"Mmmhmm....before your cock and my finger make me more....impatient," Lizzy said seductively.

Now I finally had to turn my head and look at Lizzy. I caught her just as she put her lips over my head, with her hand clearly inside her skirt. She rapidly licked my slit and moaned while fucking herself, her eyes teasing me the whole way.

I then looked at Tina, whose face was clearly flushed although her right hand was over her mouth. Right as Lizzy nibbled and kissed my head, I figured I had to make Tina keep her hand there.

I turned my head back to her pussy and dove back in, my finger fucking her and her thumb rubbing her as my tongue stroked her. Tina's muffled moans nearly drowned out Lizzy's, and she even added a few "Fuck me" demands into her hand.

Her other hand went back on my head and pushed me, right as her hips grinded against me. In response, my right hand went under Tina's dress and onto her ass. Her free hand took over lifting her dress up, and soon all our hands were pretty full.

Lizzy's pumped herself and me while sucking me down, while my hands caressed the front and back of Tina's groin. Said groin then rocked itself onto my finger, which was a clear enough message.

With one more big burst, I finger fucked Tina and ate the surrounding areas up. My digit also wiggled in her as I bounced her ass in my other hand. Tina growled and cursed in her own hand -- all while Lizzy's hands worked even faster. Yet her mouth was as slow and toe curling as ever.