All Comments on 'Mei Lei'

I can see where this will make an excellent novel. Please do wright it and let me know where to get it. Thanks for the entertainment. Mike from Texas

Another fine offering from you. This will make an excellent novel. I look forward to it.

it will be good. Write it. About the story? One word. unr, nope spelled wrong,nur, shit I can't get it right, RUN, thats it you old freakin softy, RUN, oh sorry, I forgot about the lung deal. Thanks

Do not write the novel. It will take you out of the short story field for too long. Enjoy your writing and don't get enough production out of you as it is. Please stick to the short dtory format.

Some of your writing is rather awkward, eg, "at the hotel the Army was using for men on R&R." You could use the name of the hotel, even if made up. A rewrite might look like this: 'the Tropical, the Army's leave hotel.' Use R and R, don't use the ampersand as in R&R.

Please write this story. There are some good twists that need to be expanded. Plese use spell check and get a good editor.

My email address is: leo8297@cox.net

Good start......

What happened to "Winds"?

You have created excellent and understandable characters together with several plots and subplots. There is more than sufficient emotional conflict as well as cultural conflict. The time setting allows all this to come out. Write it and let us know when you do and how to purchase it!

I'm sure if I was a critic I could find many things to complain about. But if you flesh out these characters I think you have a very enjoyable novel to read, which in my part of the world is all that counts.

I have always enjoyed your stories. I think this one has the makings of a very good novel.

i enjoyed the story but i had problems with : grammar , spelling, punctuation , and general flow and fleshing out, the story shows promise in further writing just look for all the mistakes two or three times including mis-spelled words and floating typos

Firstly, I DID like the story! It certainly has the potential to become a novel because there is so much that can be expanded.

However, my enjoyment was spoilt to a large degree by the poor spelling and uneven flow of the story. As has been said to many authors (probably thousands of times over the years), please get an editor to check and double-check everything before it gets published. Even spell-checking programs aren't much use if you use a correctly-spelt homonym (e.g. you're instead of your, site instead of sight), so proof-reading by somebody like me is essential!

It sounds interesting - fill it out and clean up the mistakes and it should be an interesting story!

CarCamHai

yep, i enjoyed your tale and the comments about the hook sizes. i fish as well so i know what your saying.

your presentation was very commercial i think. was not meant to be erotic at all, and thats okay, buddy. good tale with a happy ending of such!!

rich

As a skilled writer, I congratulate you on your patience putting up wih anons, who have probably never written a story rephrasing the wording in your story. Talk about arrogance and/or nerve. I am anon but I don't presume to tell you how to write. I simply tell you that I like or dislike your story, which I think I am allowed to do.

60 year old george

can we expect to see the novel? Ignore the carpers, they just need some thing to complain about. Certainly this needs work, all drafts do, and when it is expanded, one would expect it to be a fine read.

nice story, good plot, but please read it before you post it there are a lot of mistakes

I enjoyed reading your story. At times, some of the spelling and grammar errors left me momentarily confused. I think you have real potential as an author and would be one of those encouraging you to continue, whether with this story as a serial/novel or with others.

However, you REALLY REALLY need to have someone who will read your work before posting for spelling and grammar. It is extremely difficult for someone to catch their own errors and so I strongly suggest you find someone who will do this for you.

Regards

Gualterio is correct, please at least consider using the MSWord spelling/grammer checker before you post. It will eliminate dozens of errors in your post-edit submissions. That aside, I found this to be better than most of your previous work and an entertaining piece, with the exception of the ending. I love a surprise ending, but there is a cruel side to your work that I suspect many readers of the Romance category will have trouble with. The after-taste leans to a better fit in BDSM. Written in true Ninja style...two knives to the heart of the hero. Why not just kill them both?

i almost stopped reading as soon as i saw you made the protagonist a wuss in the initial meeting after he came out of the hospital. you succeeded in driving me to the comment box when you made him an absolute pussy 7 paragraphs later.

lets see, the protagonist is a promiscuous teenaged sports star, southern boy, v.n. war veteran, a vigilante hero who was just stabbed by some china-man. is that right?

and he's going to put up with that gook cunt for what reason? so his dad, who already owns a successful small business, can possibly make more money?

what kind of premise is that?

i shouldn't have to explain what the problem is.

fail at character development.

fail at plot development.

i've read your other stories, and they're not bad at all. what the fuck happened here?

Reminds me of NAM. Spent time in Hong Kong on the main land side. Can not spell for beans. Or I would have put Kal. but can not spell it.

Very nice romantic story, deceptively erotic without lapsing into detailed groping and thrusting. Very enjoyable, leaves tantalizing memories. From another SkyTrooper who enjoyed your work.

His wife was incredible, she was 264 when they met, yet she lived long enough to become a grandmother? Too many silly errors like this.