Melody Malone

"Okay Mary, you win. My eyes are still in my head, but I seriously doubt that if I got out of bed I could walk."

"I keep telling you it is Melody now, or Mel, but not Mary."

"You can be Melody or Mel to your adoring fans, but you are always going to be Mary to me. Now, the first half of your schedule is out of the way so how about telling me why you ran out on me. Why didn't you come back from your father's funeral?"

"He was my step dad and I didn't go to the assholes funeral. I just used his death as a way to get away from you and don't take that wrong Bobby. Before you say a word let me explain. You were getting ready to ask me to marry you and I had to get away from you before that could happen."

I started to say something, but she put a finger to my lips and said:

"Hush baby, let me get it all out and then you can talk. I loved you Bobby and I would have loved being your wife, but I would have been a lousy wife and you would have ended up hating me. I considered marrying you and then trying to keep my bad side hidden, but I knew I would eventually get caught or someone would tell you about me."

"Tell me what?"

"That I was a cock hungry slut; that I was a round heeled whore, that under the right circumstances I was anybody's fuck toy."

She saw the look on my face and said, "It's true Bobby. I've been a slut since my step dad took my cherry at a very early age. Even when I was dating you I was fucking other guys and I would have kept it up even after we got married. I love sex Bobby, lots and lots of sex. Have you seen any of my videos?"

I nodded a yes.

"I'm not an actress Bobby. What you see when you watch my videos is the real me. I'm not acting; I'm doing what I love to do. I knew that about myself Bobby and I couldn't do it to you, I just couldn't. But I did love you and I would have said yes if you had asked me to marry you. I would have done it and it would have ruined your life so I ran."

"How could you be so sure it would have ruined my life?"

"You would have come home early one day and found me with someone or someone who knew us both would have seen me going into a motel or hotel and would have told you. In fact I'm surprised that no one ever told you about what I was doing while we were dating, about all the back seat time I had or the frat parties where I pulled trains."

"Did you ever stop to think that I might have loved you enough to share – to let you be yourself as long as you were mine?"

"No baby, I didn't, but it doesn't matter because you know you wouldn't have."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you threw your wife out on her ass when you caught her doing what I most likely would have been doing."

"How in the hell did you know that?"

"We have mutual acquaintances and I talk with them from time to time and I always ask about you."

"No one ever mentioned that."

"I asked them not to baby, I didn't want to open old wounds to no purpose. I almost walked out of Bill's tonight as soon as I saw you, but I couldn't."

"Why couldn't you?"

"Because I've missed you Bobby. You are the only man I've ever loved enough to consider marrying. Once I decided to stay it was all I could do to keep from throwing myself at you and jumping in your lap."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I was afraid you would push me away and tell me to leave you alone."

"Well I didn't, so what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do I just get up, get dressed, say thanks for the trip down memory lane and leave?"

"That's about the way I had it figured. The only difference is that I was going to try and keep you company for as long as you are out here. How much time is that?"

"Four more days. I'm scheduled to fly out of LAX on Friday afternoon, but I could change it to the Sunday night red-eye. Six days isn't even close to the lifetime I wanted, but I suppose it is better than nothing at all."

"I can promise you a fun filled six days if you would like."

"How are you on weekend visits?"

"You would fly out here just to see me?"

"Or fly you to Denver. If you'll remember Colorado is lovely this time of the year."

"I remember, but it isn't a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Out here no one thinks twice about seeing someone in the porn industry. Being seen with a porn actress on your arm in Denver would create quite a buzz."

"I'm a big kid and I think I could handle it. Besides, think of the reputation it would give me with the local ladies. They would flock to me just to see what it was that had a famous porn star keeping company with me."

"Don't joke about it Bobby. Something like that could hurt you as far as your reputation in the business world went."

"Sorry, but now that we've connected I don't want to not see you again. I'll transfer out here. We can pick up where we left off. I'm talking marriage here Mary."

"Don't be stupid Bobby. It couldn't work now for the same reason that it wouldn't have worked back then. I wouldn't change; I wouldn't stop being me. I still would want lots of sex and not to hurt your ego baby, but you can't give me enough to keep me home. Look at you right now. I'm playing with your cock trying to get it up again and it is just lying there. You said it yourself; your eyes are still in, but you don't think you could get out of bed and walk. On the other hand I'm ready for more. I want more. If there was another guy here, or two or three for that matter, I'd jump out of this bed and leave you here while I fucked them."

"Maybe I could handle it. Did you ever think of that? And don't throw Claudia up at me. She was Claudia and not you."

"It doesn't matter Bobby. Even if you could live with being a cuckold I couldn't live with you being one. I would end up losing all respect for you if you could just sit back and let me be a whore. I'd come to see you as a wimp and I'd bring guys home with me and do it in front of you. I'd ask you to eat my pussy after they came in me. They would make fun of you and the word would get out that you were a wimpy cuckold and people who know you would laugh at you. Behind your back at first and then eventually to your face. No Bobby, I won't do that to either of us. But now that we are back in touch I do want to keep seeing you. Maybe once a month you can come out here for a weekend."

"What's the difference if I come out to see you or stay here with you?"

"I can be true for a week end Bobby, maybe even for as long as a week, but after a week all bets would be off. Let's take what we can work with Bobby."

"I guess I don't have much choice then, do I?"

+++++++++++

I spent the rest of the week with Mary, but when Friday came I went right from my meeting to LAX and caught my flight home. I didn't tell Mary. I left for my meeting that morning with her expecting me back and expecting me to stay until late Sunday. I couldn't do it. I'd spent years regretting that I hadn't gone after her when she left for the funeral and then I found out that it wouldn't have mattered if I had.

The memory I had of Mary was a false one. Still, I would have loved to stay with her, but I knew in my heart she was right and that I couldn't live the life she had predicted for me.

When I got home the nineteen videos I had of Melody went into the trash since there was no sense watching them and eating my heart out for something that I now knew could never have been.

In the weeks following my return from LA Mary left several messages on my answering machine, but I never returned the calls. I received three letters and I returned them unopened. I got home from work one night and found four phone calls from Bill on my machine. I called him and after some small talk he asked me what I had done to Melody.

"Nothing, why?"

"All she's done since you left is mope around."

"I don't know what the problem is Bill. All I did is get out of her life."

"Why in God's name would you do a thing like that?"

"Because she painted me a picture of the living hell my life would be if I stayed in hers."

"Well hoss, you know where to find me if you ever come back to LA. Don't be a stranger now, okay?"

"Sure enough bud, I'll look you up. I still need to give your buddies a chance to win some of their money back."

++++++++++++++++++

Thirty minutes after I hung up the phone my doorbell rang and I opened it to find Mary standing there with a suitcase.

"I've been sitting in a motel for the last six hours waiting for Bill to call me and tell me you were home. May I come in?"

I stepped aside to let her in and I closed the door and turned to see her standing there looking at me.

"I've taken a personal vow of fidelity Bobby, to you and only you. I don't know if I can do it, but I do know that I have to try. I have to do what I didn't do ten years ago, I have to give us a chance. Will you let me Bobby? Will you let me try?"

I stepped forward, took her in my arms and kissed her and then I picked up her suitcase, "Let me show you around the place."

All I can do now is cross my fingers and hope.