All Comments on 'Mentoring Britney Ch. 01'

I found your story to be ok, but I see it’s just a woman saying I fucked them and thanks for the push. There is nothing special about her first fuck or much of anyone getting expressive. No real emotion is developed or shown in the characters. It’s just a conversation without much in feelings expressed.

I was very disappointed and felt cheated in finding this has nothing at all with loving wives, as no one is even married much less cheating.

I guess the story was just a few erotic couplings, and they were not erotic. It’s like she got up went to work, sucked a couple of guys and went home, Yawn.

Well the story flowed ok but not much of a story or erotic to me.

Just my personal take.

PT

You asked for some feedback, so here is mine. This story is well written. I see why commenters are put off by the lack of descriiptive action. To many readers it is not really "erotic" in a sense, but there is a line which has never been fully delinated between "titulating"/"erotic"/"pornographic". I guess to each his or her own.

The writing quality rather reminds me of the Victorian Erotica written by Anonymous. How prolific a writer he was! However, I can't say this is my cup of tea. I find that the subject matter is invariably the same. Older man helping younger woman to become a full fledged slut/prostitute. Invariably, he sits watching with the required woody, marveling at his creation like Pygmalion on Viagra. Certainly voyeristic (sic as my dictionary is packed away), but hardly satifying. This story is barely different in tone or texture from any of your last series. We have an expression which fits here - cookie cutter. In fact, it is almost assembly line fiction. I shan't be reading Chapter 2 because I can tell from experince that all I need do is read Chapter 2 from any of your other submissions. Should I be so inclinded, that is, which I am not. Need I mention that you posted this under "Loving Wives" and said Britney and her mentor are not wed? I am getting a little tired of having the Loving Wives catagory being the "bit bucket" of Literotica whee everything seems to get dumnped.

Try something totally different. That will be a test of your writing skills and give the rest of us a break.

Regards

C

Thanks for the heads-up. You're off to a great start, as always. Wonderful how your writing has improved over time (though there are still a couple of boo-boos). Can't wait to see where the lovely heroine goes and does. More soon, please.

Tryst

Old one vowel would turn mother Teresa into a whore.