All Comments on 'Mergers & Acquisitions: 10 Years'

Much enjoyed.

I do love a story where the good people get their reward for it, although not easily, and the bad people get their just desserts.

Nice one, patricia. Well done.

Just fantastic and so well written. All the details were given and the love of two people of values was so well expressed. I loved the explanation of the pain that had to be fought in his deep depression and the length of time and patience used.

Thank you for your hard work and great entertainment

PT

I love a happy ending with a bit of revenge (not of his making). Now this I have heard before in real life more then once. Thank you

Once again, Patricia51 has hit one out of the park! There is nothing much one can say about superlative writing except that this is a great example.

Once again Patricia51 has given us a believable tale, well crafted taking place in a world peopled with familiar characters. The "my mother and father...blah ...blah...blah" was a masterstroke! Easily identifiable to those of us familar with her past writings. The only thing missing is the a walk on by a sexy vampiress. :-)

Take a bow, this was another excellent story!

Best regards,

C

The unfortunate typo in the hubby's name early on threw me for a bit but otherwise, an excellent story. Thank you.

A great tale of the aftermath and redemption on the husbands part. Your grasp on the characters was excellent and what I've come to expect from your stories.

As I read the intro' to this story, I have no time for sequels. “One story, one writer“ is my motto.

With due respect to USAFTNT, I have neither, nor will read his story so in a way this was an original read as far as I am concerned.

The sentiments expressed in this story should move, emotionally, every person that truly loves another.

I find myself repeating a statement that I’ve uttered before, I think this is your best story to date...that will hold true only until the next one.

My best wishes

I liked they way you set it up. I was pretty sure that "Tanya" was the ex.

Your writing as always is first-rate.

Too many years ago I wrote the software for a company that did "Rolling Stone" magazine and had several meetings with Jann Wenner.

Good stuff, DJ

I liked it, but I would have liked it better if there would have been less "telling and more showing."

Was mentioned in today's New Story Review thread in the Author's Hangout.

Either I really, really, like your stuff or ....

But "rarely" is there an in between.

This time it was unbelieveably fantastic.

Peggy, Chagrined, and a few others touched on a few reasons I liked it, so I'll leave it at that, but I did love how the husband moved on. It was painful, it was heart wrenching, but he did. And seemed to get a better life out of it instead of waiting around till his ex-wife decided she'd played around enough and wanted him back. Great story.

The one thing you wrote, that I found funny, was a pet peeve of mine. It was the only thing that made me frown in the story. Don't get me wrong, there wasn't anything you did in the story to give me that impression, but its something I read a lot on the Lit site. It's the comment "He should have (or didn't) fought for me (or harder for his wife)". It's a peeve for me because it's an arguement that puts the other person (often the man) on the loosing end of a battle he can't win.

If the wife leaves and he tried to get her back, and she doesn't really want him, then it's harassment. If he does try and she takes him back, then why did she leave in the first place and is she going to leave him again next time she gets bored? And if he doesn't fight to get her back then it's his fault for her leaving, because if he really wanted her he would have tried to win her back. Why? Why can't she talk to him before it gets to this point, or at the least tell him what she wants so he knows where he stands?

See no win. Why does someone have to fight to change someone's mind after they've made it up to do something and are currently exploring that decision? It's the same as like in those movies where the bad guy is holding a gun to someone's head and says to the other person "Give me what I want or I'll shoot this person and it will be your fault I did". Say what? To me it's just a way for the person who is a fault to try and shift the blame to the innocent party for something they either want to do, or did, and to try and make it seem more like the other person had a bigger share of the blame for their actions and to minimize their part in it.

I personally have always been a fan of just asking the person what they expect from me. If they say they want to move on, I accept their wishes and step aside. Listen to what a woman has to say and respect it is the way I've been raised. But I have had a couple of ladies later say to me they expected me to just try harder to win them back after we broke up, not to move on. But I just told them the same thing I believe today, either you want to be with me or you want to play games with me. If you want to be with me we'll work everything out together, and if you have a problem with me let me know and we'll work on it together. If you want to play games with me, I have enough grief in my life without the person I'm involved in adding to it, all while trying to make me practice my mind reading skills to know when I've tried hard enough and not too hard.

If people really love each other they don't play games.

But when you added that in the story, and while it did in my eyes make the husband appear kinda desperate and willing to play these games with his wife at the time, it was well balanced out by the savage determination of his current wife to do what ever it took to keep him safe and show him it was him and only him she loved from the moment she said I do. To lovingly rebuild him up from the man his first wife destroyed.

Great story! Kinda intrested in seeing what you write next.

-Risq

good sequel... but something is missing.

WHAT happened to the ex wife that masde her look back and try and find the husband she fucking crushed like a soda can ...10 years later?

According the original the exwife had everything. She loved being raped -- if you can believe that crap-- loved the fabulously wealthy big businessman RON who of course had HUGE cock... and in the end wanted his child...

so what happened?

second what did she think was going to be former Hubbys reaction? ..."dear welcome home. I missed you...It been 10 years and I was getting worried...?"

so either the ex wife is TRULY insane or something MAJOR had to happen... did she break up with RON?

was he killed?

if not WHEN did she "wake up" to what she had done?

You see there a lot of holes here...

second as to RISQ'spost... why did you fight for me? remark. He is 100% corect. But in this instance the ex DID do that but he was beaten up hospitalized and firebombed.

and still the ex wife wnats to know why he didnt fight for me?

why do all the woman in these stories think that after 7 10 15 or 22 years of marriage their husbands have to FIGHT for her love?

we are are not talking about Love/ romance per se ... but this idea that is it unreasonable for me to think that when my wife goes to work she will not be fucking someone there!!!

when some guy or babe makes a pass at your spouse... it should be flat out and rejected... not "well lets see if my hubby wants to fight for me and if he doest I get some new cock"....

Patricia,

As usual a very good story and well told. I liked how you ended this story. I just wish you would post more stories.

The old adage "Once a cheater...." I would have liked to see Stephen get his "digs" in too! (zed)

Patricia:

I too was disappointed with the end of Mergers & Acquisitions. I always enjoy your writing, and this one was no different.

I do wish that it was a bit longer - - or that you may write a second chapter, to focus on Stephen and, perhaps, have him and his ex meet on the street in a random encounter, while he is out strolling with his new family.

From the standpoint of "frontier justice" he's suffered more than enough and I don't think that she has quite yet.

If not, I do hope that you will post another story again soon.

bob

I disliked the way the original story ended. Yours added a sense of justice that was missing.

Boyd

...have liked the story better if maybe Stepanie's dog bit Tanya on the ass.

Or maybe Stephanie's sheriff brother arrested Tanya and performed a complete body cavity search just for humiliation purposes.

Actually, it was a great story and didn't need any additions.

that happened: that is, faithless, cheating spouses who ultimately ending up --- with those they cheated with or run away with --- with the short end of the tick.

the "logic" that "wooing" men and women need to know is: "if this person, while married to another, is willing to cheat and run away with me, he/she will do the same thing, to me, with someone else he/she fancies",,,

of course, if the "wooing" person simply wants to fuck and discard, then, there's nothing for them to lose. No matter what, the cheating spouse --- like Toni/Tanya here, who has little to NO POWER or MONEY as a leverage, other than their physicality and guile --- will end up with the short end of the stick, if not badly abused in some ways.

in real life there are always consequences, even if not in most of the these Lit. stories, which are like cheap porn DVD's, where from opening to ending scenes you see and hear nothing but scream of orgasms,,,, with no tears, no pain, no sadness, fooling a lot of young women (more young women than young men are fool into circumstances where usually there's no going back) ,,,,,,,,,

No, I do agree with you. I think you did a really good job of showing the current wife trying to shoot it down as a valid arguement when it was brought up by the now ex-wife. When you wrote the story so that the ex brought this up as valid to try and shift part of the blame to the ex-husband, I thought it was handled well.

I was just explaining that while I wasn't a fan when I first read it, you did such a good job of showing how the current wife wouldn't put herself in that situation because she was willing to do what ever it took to keep the husband happy from day one, and he recognized all that effort finally and was willing to learn to be happy that was great!

And I also meant that it was pretty good writing for me to not see the pet peeve as a drawback to the story, but just as an element of it. Thats all I was trying to say.

Oh and also head off anyone who might try to argue that fighting others for a mate is ok. To me it never is, but I didn't think you tried to justify it in your story.

-Risq

done as always Patricia!!! My only question would have also been why would Toni look him up after ten years. Thanks!!

Patricia did cover why she was back after 10 years:

-The guy she left her husband for married her

-But he had her sign a Pre-Nup, because he didn't trust her. Anyone willing to leave their husband for another man wasn't someone Ron (her new husband) was willing to trust. Even if she left her first husband for him.

-He tried the Drug/Rape trick on someone elses wife

-Because he was still dipping his pen in the company inkwell "that" wife filed "Sexual Harassment" charges, lawsuits, and then a rape complaint. Something she should have done herself the first time.

-Due to all of this the guy was finacially ruined.

-Meanwhile the ex-wife "Toni" tried her hand out at sleeping with another man.

-She got busted and Ron divorced her for it.

-He held her to the pre-nup and she got nothing.

-The other man she wanted to cheat on Ron with, first raped her and when she tried to get with him after Ron kicked her out, found out he had no money. So she ended up with nothing after both Ron and she cheated on each other.

-Now with nothing (same position she was in 10 years earlier) she figured to start all over again with her first husband, expecting that he still loved her enough that after all of this, and after 10 years, he would take her back.

-She didn't count on him moving on while she was out playing fun and games with his ex-boss and friends. Few truely selfish people do >=)

I mean if it was me, and I had access to all this info too, I'd still see her as a gold digging person who, only after everyone else she was sleeping with left her, she tried to come back to her ex-husband, hoping he'd do the old "forgive and forget" part because she counted on the fact that he would love her so much, and for some strange unknown reason would have waited for her for 10 years. That his life needed to stop while hers kept going. She didn't come back because she came to her senses and wanted the ex-husband over everyone else, but because she traded up and backed the wrong horse. Only when the riches, lifestyle, and sex were gone with no way to get them back did she want her ex back.

To me Toni was still selfish to the end.

-Risq

Patricia, you have taken a sow's ear and made a silk purse from it. I detested the original story. Poorly written, it was almost everything that I think is bad about a story.

But Patricia, you have magically changed it into something nice...showing the affection and loyalty of a real loving wife, and her determination to protect her man. You made "commitment" a decent word again. I know it is just a story, but in writing it you touched the ugly past and turned it into a reflection of what I suspect is your own kind heart.

Cheers...always!

This is one of the best stories I have ever seen on this site.

i've read the original story before, and your introduction simply brought back that 'butterfly in my stomach'... angry and saddened for the man who simply does things a good husband should do, meanwhile his slut and a whore wife sated herself with that big cock and the vanities showered to her.

Well, anyway, thanks for finally rendering justice to the good man. I enjoyed reading your stories.

best regards.

benhur726

I think I remember the story this follows on from and don't think I was enamoured with the outcome. But I'll have to hunt it down and check whether I'm correct

As usual Harry has shown his talent for not reading the story (well not understanding what he's read) before he makes his comments.

Thanks for taking the time to write and post this tale.

DC

For another very gratifying and touching story. The dialogues are so real, and immediately involving. Yes, a quality of writing, hardly ever seen here.

I love happy endings and this was a great one. Really liked the new wife too.

Thanks very much for writing.

Good story and a very enjoyable read. I especially liked the Stephanie character and her actions.

Stephanie in her calm and controlled manner punished Toni (Tanya) for what Toni had done so coldly to Stephen. She punished Toni in a way that no man could do; by simply extolling how wonderful Stephen was and showing Toni the family that she could have had.

This was an excellent story.

Comment and story discussion:

1. I am like Risq 001 in that --- "He should have fought for me.” type stuff said by cheating spouses --- is one of my pet peeves, but in no way did this distract me from this fine story. My view is that there nothing left to fight for or to regain once the cheating spouse has chosen to be with another. In this specific case she completely left the husband for someone else, so there was definitely nothing left to fight for or regain. So why do cheating spouses expect the faithful spouse to fight to stay with them in a ruined marriage?

2. Toni may or may not have come looking for Stephan because she had finally realized she threw away someone special that she loved.

------ "Perhaps we all look in different places," Tanya said sadly. She lifted her head and a sudden defiance shone in her eyes. "Perhaps we realize that we were wrong and that the greatest thing in our life is what we left behind." ------

3. Perhaps Toni had already realized it when she came looking for Stephen, but she definitely did know that she lost the man she loved and the possibility of a loving family when she finally left Stephanie’s and Stephen’s home.

------ A look of longing swept over Tanya's face, sweeping the determination away. ------

And

------ Stephanie saw the other woman rest her head on the steering wheel for a minute. Tanya finally lifted her head, wiped her eyes, and drove away. ------

If Toni came looking Stephen as a “gold-digger”, she did not leave as one. To my reading of the story, she was a defeated woman who learned what she lost, after talking with Stephanie.

Again author, an excellent story and an enjoyable read.

The original 'Merger's and Aquisitions' left my mind dry. I felt it was a hard ending, with not much else but sadness. I am glad to read that things worked out for him and that Toni got pretty much what she had coming to her.

I really liked your thoughts and how the story flowed. Kept just enough tension in the 'visit' to keep a reader well involved.

The original was not worth following up on. Also, I didn't like your description of her rape as being deserved. No matter how confused or misquided someone is, a rape is neithe deserved or justified.

"It will make for a nice dinner chat to hear about your day. Mine was nothing special. I just finished sweeping some old trash out."

Love it :)

Patricia, Patricia..... when are you going to stop this excellent writing???? I too read the original, and absolutely hated it. This one really had a poetic justice, not found in many stories of this gendre. I guess the ultimate revenge(if you want to call it that) is living a life filled with loving, and being loved completely. Lets face it.... a life well lived, without loving, and being loved by that special someone, is an empty phrase. Thanks for a fitting conclusion to an otherwise depressing story.

Tim C.

Where I like to think about a story for a day to see what I really take away from it. But by the time I'm ready to comment most of my points have been covered :)

I did notice that even if Tanya had started to reallize that she had thrown away the things the could have lasted her a lifetime. Like someone that really loved her and would have kept loving her and children for things that didn't last. She never showed any real regret for the pain she caused. Only for her own loss.

... but I had a couple of problems.

First, there were several punctuation and spelling errors (okay, let's hear the catcalls for those of us who can actually spell and punctuate). Is it StephEn or StephAn? It was distracting. An editor could help smooth those points.

Second, the whole talking-out-loud thing at the end was silly. I'd have preferred to have the cunt forced to sit and listen to it. You know, maybe drug her and tape it for future fun and games. We've gone this far, why not? Maybe even let hubby come in holding his son -- you know, just put it in her face a little more.

On balance, though, pretty well-aimed barbs at one who deserved it.

folks

I know that No one is going to believe this... but NONE of the section below the double line was in the story I read early Monday morning.

really

================================

"That's my little brother," Stephanie said out loud. "Always looking out for me." She watched fondly until the unmarked sheriff's department car rounded the corner. Once more she turned back in the direction Tanya's car had gone.

"I guess you didn't realize, 'Tanya', that the moment you reached town and started asking about Stephen that same family of cops would hear about it and go immediately into high gear. I knew who you were before you even found our address.

"Stephen's not here because I made sure he wouldn't be. If you thought for a second that I was going to let a pathetic bitch like you make any attempt to hurt my man and my family, after all you did to him, you were sadly mistaken. I don't care that you 'didn't know'. I know damn well that you didn't give a shit.

"Yeah, its too bad. I don't know why you would have been surprised that a man who drugged and raped one man's wife would do that to another. I don't know why you wouldn't have known that Ron would come to the realization that if you would run off from one husband just for a big cock and expensive toys that you might again. I know he didn't trust you out of his sight and its almost delicious that you didn't know that. You'd already proved that to you 'Love' and 'Faithfulness' were just words.

"Well, he 'fell in love' again didn't he? Only the climate had changed a bit and when that wife didn't respond and he tried hard ball again that this time there were Sexual Harassment charges and lawsuits and then a rape complaint. He managed to escape prison but it about destroyed his empire. Then your wandering eye caught hold of someone else. I bet Ron wasn't surprised at all but you were when he held you to that pre-nuptial agreement. Shame that other guy turned out not to have any money and he didn't even bother to drug you before raping. Not that you would have needed drugging.

By the time I got to the phone ringing while Steph was in the kitchen or wherever, I went back to the original to discover who Tanya was.

After about 45 minutes scanning 4 or 5 episodes of the original I convined myself there was no Tanya.

Eventually it seemed it MAY be Toni, but confirmation was left until after she left the house.

Any enjoyment I may have got from the confrontation had I KNOWN it was Toni was spoiled because I didn't know.

Had you let us in on the 'secret' from the start so we knew Tanya = Toni, then it would have been a far better story.

I also wonder about the depth of healing for Stephan (or was it Stephen? we alternated a bit ) and the real quality of his new relationship - especially her trust in him - if she was so terrified about him meeting his ex ten years on... Hmmmmmmmmmm!

I fully prepared that Patricia was going to do a real surprise: that Tanya was really NOT Toni. Perhaps a sister or cousin, or someone who truly liked and may be even loved Stephen when he was married to Toni, and saw how much he loved her and KNEW that Toni was destryong her very own life in front of everyone... and was now only coming to tell Stephen that and to confirm that she really did have a firm grasp of the scope of Toni's stupidity.

But, yes, while I was fully prepared to have the story move that direction, within a few more lines of dialogues, you know Tanya IS/WAS Toni.

Even so, I thought this was ONE OF THE FEW TIMES that a multiple POV's would have worked more emotionally. I won't delete Stephanie from being the central figure telling us the story; but making Tanya/Toni conveying to us her mistakes and regrets --- it would be eternal regrets because she would never again have Stephen, with someone like Stephanie as wife now! --- that would have been more satisfying.

Someone else saying how sad, regretful, or sorrowful a person is doesn't convey as much gravity as the person himself/herself doing the telling. It has to be intelligently done, of course. Patricia would have been one of the few authors here capable of that task, since she's/he's excellent at telling stories from a soul-searching woman's perspective,,,,

Loved the story. Read it then went back and read the original authors work. You put a lot of thought into the characters and the flow from the original story to this one. I expected no less from you. Having much of the story come from the New wife's POV was a great touch.

I have to agree with some of the other commentors on the part where Tanya has the gall to say He could have fought for me. There is a big/huge difference in fighting For someone and fighting Over someone. What Toni/Tanya wanted was for Stephen to fight Over her because the fight for their relationship should have been one that SHE fought not him. A man will give his life fighting For his woman because he knows the war is already won and he is the victor. A man fighting Over a woman really does not know where she stands. Every time I've heard that arguement in real life it's always been the woman who says it after she's messed up.

I would have liked to have seen Stephanie address that more directly but you did a masterful job having her brush it aside.

Well done

Read ya later

Bishop

Yes, Toni learned too late what is important in life. Personally, I feel kinda sorry for someone like that. She is now destroyed. I don't like to see anyone destroyed. She did it herself. Stephanie merely pointed out just how and what she did.

It's a good ending for the recovered Stephan. I'm wondering just where HE would be if he hadn't met Stephanie.

One small point. What did her brother think he was protecting her from? Physicl attack?? He would be NO help from where he was parked.

Patricia:

I don't recall the original story and it's not in my folder so I have to assume it was not my cup of tea. This one certainly is and even more. It didn't take too long to figure Tanya was probably Toni simply because the lady seemed to protest too much. Your other commentors read like a who's who on LIT and they've about said all that can be said except that this Horny 'ol Sailor thoroughly enjoyed the tale as per usual when you pen it. Thank You. Ronnie W.

First, to “Decent but”: not unlike the issue of the ‘fight for me’, so is the: ‘she deserved to be raped’. My advice: make a distinction between the characters talking their frustrations rage etc, and what could be construed as the position of the narrator. As a wife who loves and identifies with all the suffering inflicted on her husband, she could convey some emotional statement that fits her feeling towards the ex, not a generalized view on the issue –certainly not the narrator POV.

Second, after reading the story I released a sigh of relief – finally an author who fully gets it: Couples are there to be there for each other. Not to be there in fair weather; not to be swayed by double loyalties; just to be there for each other. In contrast with the wife in K.K. recent story the wife went out of the marriage to “help” the marriage, and for inexplicable reasons started to not trust her husband in time of distress; yet chose to trust her ex lover (who happened to be her husband’s boss). Here the behavior of the wife is clear as it should be. You don’t suspend your judgment or belief – especially in time of trouble and need. You don’t play ‘what if’s’; you don’t do mental games and replace your own judgment with third party ‘new comers’ – if you love him (her) you do your best not to hurt and help him (her). That is exactly what this wife did in this story. I would not wish any thing less on any one’s spouse. Congratulations on portraying such an uplifting character of a wife. It’s such a rarity in the so called “Loving Wives: section

A little to short, would have loved to have seen a little more detail of Stephen's efforts after Toni left him, some interaction between Toni and Stephen.

Judge Patti:

I haven't commented on a story in quite some time and now I find myself compelled by your latest and 'The Wander's' latest as well.

I too, way back when, read 'USAFTNT's' "Merger & Acquistitions." And I also was left unsettled by the story's resolution; enough so that I emailed the author after each chapter. I found it incredibly difficult to reconcile that a woman would leave the man described as "the love of her life" for another who had drugged and assaulted her. The way she seemed to be so taken by all of the gifts he showered upon her during her exploratory vacation with "Ron," she displayed all the depth of a cardboard cut-out.

I have been waiting all this time to read about "Toni" getting what she deserved.

Perhaps for many who have commented here, reading the original would be a prerequisite for fully enjoying your story. I knew right away that "Tanya" was in reality "Toni" from the original. I mean who else would have been so curious about the present day "Stephen," and who else would have been so defensive about "Toni's" behavior as described by "Stephanie."

I thought you portrayed the characters very well. I might have liked the story a little better if "Stephanie" had deduced for herslf "Tanya's" identity rather than been given a 'head's up' by her siblings.

As always, Patti, your stories are joy to read; they are just too few and too seldom.

My best,

Philip

I thought you just missed it. I've had that happen before where part of a story wasn't there when I first commented on it. (^_^)

Patricia,

still a "FANTASTIC STORY"!!!

Oh, and I did go back and read the original story. I have to say I liked this story way better!!

-Eric

What sort of wife has Stephen/Stephan got himself here? A trustless tart who is terrified he will leave her for an ex who shafted him so badly TEN years ago? If Stephanie truly 'cured' him half as well as the story infers, why would she be so hell bent on not allowing a meeting?

Whatever the reason, and we are left to ponder what it was, it merely showed she was either very insecure about her influence on Stephen/Stephan or didn't trust him as far as she could toss him. Great wife, that one.

Because I hadn't read the original I went and zipped through it before I read this story. Shame, because in this version Ron was Stephen/Stephan's boss and sent him out of town.

In the original Ron was a client of Toni's employer, and Stephen/Stephan worked somewhere else. Ron seduced/raped Toni at his house and sent her home to hubby who had taken his nephew to a ball game that night which was why Stephen (hubby's name in the original) did not accompany her to Ron's 'party':

Curious of why she'd called so late in the afternoon, he inquired. "Is something wrong? You usually don't call this late in the day unless you've been given a reason."

"Yeah… there is…" She responded sadly. "I have to attend a party being thrown by one of our clients this evening. I called hoping you'd join me and, sort of, be my date."

"I'd love to baby, but remember? I'm supposed to take your nephew to the ball game." He didn't mind going places with her brother's kid, but given a choice, he'd much rather be with his wife. "I'm sorry honey. Do you want me to call and cancel?"

If this is supposed to be an ending for the original, isn't it a bit inaccurate, to say the least, that the whole circumstance of Toni's initial encounter, and details of who worked where are completely at odds with the story this is allegedly based upon?

I too was annoyed by the Tanya thing. It was totally unnecessary for it to be revealed as definite only at the end. It would actually have made a better story if we knew when she walked in who she was. Oh, because he was shown as awkward was supposed to tell us? Anyone re-establishing contact with another person after ten years would be a little nervous about the meeting, so that was no great clue.

Why did Tanya/Toni come? What was she hoping to achieve? No reasons, she just showed up to see him. Not a good motivation in my mind.

Most of Patricia's writing is well above the usual standard on Literotica - her Bridget series is brilliant. But she badly misfired with this one.

Overall, I truly wonder about the rapturous applause for this story from so many apparently intelligent commentators.

nd here I go replacing it with another. Harry, I have no doubt at all what you are saying happened. One of my friends here posted a story and an entire page was missing when it forst went up, and appeared on its own later on. Thank you for the email. And Risq...*Wink*... You have praise me or seriously raked me over the coals as you thought I deserved, and I relly appreciate it. I don't always agree with your assessments (although for some strange reason I do on this story *laughing*) but seriously, I've always read them carefully and listened to what you had to say even when it hurt a little.

Patti

Seriously DeadWould , you cracked me up with this part of your comments. You can’t be serious with these minutia. But laughter alone would not have sent me writing. Not necessarily counting myself among the group you addressed your message to, I was still somewhat unhappy with the implied message that at least temporarily, a lapse of judgment must have occurred to those who liked this story. My counter, advice to you pal is: please try to practice careful; attentive reading before you send those smart people rushing to their Neurologists for a check up for early Alzheimer…

Following are few examples to demonstrate the reasons to my counter suggestion.

1 .As to the reasons for the wife’s decision to prevent her husband from meeting the ex, It’s stated in the story. She wants to save extra hurt from her husband, who obviously suffered enough. You can choose to disagree with the story, but don’t feed chracteristics which are not present in the story or misrepresent it (as if the reasons are not clear). You do it by inserting your impressions of the wife in the way you describe her. For example where did you see in the story that the wife was a “tart” or please show me in the text that she was “terrified” or “hell bent”. When you present your assumptions reg. wife’s potential motivation why do you omit the explicit one stated by her? After all it’s her internal monologue as presented by the narrator.

2. Why did she choose to show up after ten years? There is a set of reasons provided at the end. In addition, more is provided in the discussion between the two women. Your opinion on the other hand seems to be internally contradictory: “No reasons, she just showed up to see him. Not a good motivation in my mind”. Was there NO reason (which is factually not true) or the reason which was provided not a good one, as you seem to claim at the end of the quote? Can’t have it both ways. As far as provided reasons : her relations collapsed she is penny less and she expressed a hope that maybe things could be corrected now (if in a hinted way). Sounds like reasons to me (even good ones given what we know about the ex character).

3. The rest of your critique takes me back to the title. It about the differences between the original story and the follow up. In my opinion those differences are immaterial to the main tenet of both the original and the follow up which are the tale of a seduction betrayal and it’s aftermath. What difference in the world do the differences that you point out make on the main plot line in this story? What difference does the ex (then wife) invitation to her husband to come with her to the party make re. her betrayal? Do husbands supposed to be next to wives 24/7, or else any thing that happens to the wives is partially their fault too? Last I heard adult women are not minors. It is not enough to point out any difference between original story “A” and it’s follow up “B” and come up with a winning argument this follow is not good enough because say husband took her nephew to a ball game! It’s on you to prove that the omission MATTERED to the follow up story or that it somehow MEANINGFULLY distorts the image of the original.

No hard feelings

My comment is "you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make her spell correctly" no matter how red you make the corrections.

For you nit pickers, please, please do not read Pat's "Rainy Day Rubdown" series. Hint: there is marital redemption. Also stay away from "Last Wishes" your little prude lips will surely pucker.

It was obvious to me from the first read of the manuscript that Mikey, the little brother, was there with a body bag in case Stephanie had to "regrettably" use more than her feminine weapons to destroy Toni/Tanya.

To prepare for this story I read the original by USAFTNT. That reading was painful. You have a so called faithful wife (Toni) who after being drugged by an important client is raped and as a result of that experience she goes back to her rapist. Toni then go on a sexual spree with Ron, her rapist and ends up leaving her husband without a word. I believe that she was pregnant as a result of the rape but we do not know what happen with the child. Toni did not even feel guilty or even call her husband during this several days spree.

After reading your story I was freed from the original story. It wasn't that the first story was written badly it just belonged in the erotic couplings category as one of those mindless stroke stories. USAFTNT introduced the theme of fidelity early on (Stephen raved about his wonderful wife), abandoned it through the bulk of the story and ended with a passing glance to their marriage.

In contrast, your story hit all of the key elements (i.e., family, children, faith, patience) that make up a long term loving relationship. If truth is revenge, Stephanie kicked Toni/Tanya's ass! As to why Toni returned to Stephen it was clear that recent times were not good for her. Perhaps she wanted him to forgive her. Given Toni's nature she probably wanted a reconciliation with him since he was the first man to treat her like a queen.

What your story does not tell - how has her beauty changed? Here ten years later, she was probably rode hard by Ron and her other rapist lover so she surely aged - wider hips and tits sagging. Contrary to the other commenters I believe that given Toni's character she would defend her actions by blaming Stephen. I also believe that spouses have a duty to spare their partners from unnecessary harm. Stephen had moved on from Toni so it was not necessary for him to confront her or listen to her side of the story.

Overall, this story was more of a love story than a revenge story. Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

Very well done - story of sorrow and redemption. So well written with a theme that truly resonates. Sometimes there really are happy endings, at least for those who have been wronged. My thanks to Pat for a great read.

i love the story. its wickedly good.

well written and in an appropriate category. in a woman's POV, too.

the best story of this type yet.

thank you

damn good writing! I wish you would write more, there hasn't been a single story by you that I haven't liked. I miss your writing, can we have another?

I guess they do, as Stephanie does sound just like my wife. This is the sort of woman you grab onto, and never let go. Very nice story, thank you.

loved the story

This is a terrific story. I loved it.

Te3rrific story. Well written and believable. Redemption, trust and love.

Patricia's writing really is a cut above. Her characters are life-like, with strengths and weaknesses that make them human, foolish at times yet strong and capable at other times. The story's plot isn't complex but its simplicity holds our interest. The couple's struggle to find themselves and find each other rivets our attention and makes us hunger for the next step of the journey, driving us to follow the story to its conclusion.

<P>

Stephanie's fierce protectiveness of her husband reminds us that evil is always lurking, and we must be ever vigilant to ward its bane away. This is truly fine fiction from one of Literotica's best authors. Thank you, Patti, for another of my favorite stories.

thank you

I absolutely love it. Althought I would have kick her ass, she deserve it. It is great story because you can't beleive how many story that have cheaving on it. It's great to know that there are also story about stong women too.

Finally, someone who understands what a slut wife deserves. Best story I've read on this site.

Nicely done, with an economy of words that is so painfully lacking in the original.

A real woman stands by her man.

toni/tonya did what she did, and paid a price with ron, pre-nup and all. there was this utterly callous behavior on her part. she may have been unaware of efforts (made) to talk to her, but the harm was already done.

there may have been genuine regret after the passage of the tme, however the harm was already done to him and later for her.

stephanie cared at an early moment and stuck in there. there was a happily ever after there, where way to few women to be so tenacious and protective. tonya paid the price, with consequences not unexpected.

Bloody well done!

Nicely done!

Very fucking well done, indeed. No wimp, a slut that got what she deserved, and a real woman to make it all complete.

I never have a problem when a story talks about swinging or divorces when all parties agree that is the best thing but I feel stories need to address the wrongs done by their characters. Have you noticed that at the end of every monster movie the monster is destroyed? Maybe it's foolish to expect a happy or at least a fair ending to a story but as a reader that's what I want. This story delivers, in great style, the right ending to this tale. Bad people get what's coming to them and good people do alright. Very well done.

That was sooooo totally refreshing seeing an actual loving wife putting the ex in her place. Man I felt so charged after reading that.

Write more like this.

Really great story Patricia! Makes me proud to share the same first name. Seriously though, just a wonderful story thanks for the effort.

Lady, you're one of the finest writers on this site. The ending of the original story left me irritated, but this story more than made up for its shortcomings. This was a wonderful portrayal of what a loving wife really can be. After 40 years sharing my life with a partner and lover, I count my blessing to know what's it like to be with a "loving wife". Your main character is a true example of a loving wife. Thank you for an excellent entertaining story.<p>No doubt many others felt the same way. One complaint though and this is to the readers who write rather lengthy comments. Would you mind breaking down your thoughts into paragraphs. Often I skip your comments because the reading is too difficult. Thanks, just a thought.ML

I recently reread this story as well as the original chapter by the other author. I found the original story to be kind of disturbing. In that story, the characters were not very well developed and it was hard to be sympathetic toward any of them; the shallow (and almost simpleton) wife, the predator boss, or the husband. Patricia51 did a good job with this followup. She gave the thing some closure. Thanks for sharing.

Very nice story and really well written. I like the connection of the family and how they network with each other. I love the patience of Stephanie standing by and helping someone who had been hurt and helping them to work the pain out. Thanks for the remake and the wonderful story.

simply a wonderful, touching story. Congratulations!

Strong willed loving women seem to run through your stories and makes for amazing stories.

That's what i like in a story, a strong woman who's not afraid to stand up for what she wants and loves and the cheating WHORE getting the short end of the stick for a change... Loved It...

BH

I enjoy well told tales, and yours are as finally crafted as any I have read. You can involve an old male grouch, such as myself in the story. I have enjoyed your work a lot.

Title, and 5 stars, says it all.

Had to come back for another read of this beauty!!!

thank you, thank you, thank you,

But not probable so I only rated it 4****s.

is that DWmoroncock got 4****s in the "I'm with BILLY" sweepstakes, grats!

A very nice follow up to a very emotionally messed up story. Stephan gets the perfect revenge...a life well lived and loved, while his betrayers get their just desserts. Kudos and 5 stars.

and holding on to. TK U MLJ LV NV

Women are subtle. Sometimes

their re-bite is horrendous. TK U MLJ LV NV

Such a nice tale. Love your writing.

Thank you.

I like the current wife,she is smart and protective. The ex asks why hubby didn't fight for her and that is so typical,the spouse who walks away puts the onus on the other.She left a note,didn't have the decency to talk to him and then blames him?Why didn't she talk to him,find out whether he was hurting or what had happened?Put it this way she wouldn't be there unless she fucked up twice,no sympathy needed.

Well, I am glad I never read the first story. Your synopsis was enough to convince me that I would have hated it. Thank you for turning a sows ear into a silk purse. Very, very nicely done!

I totally agree with the other omment that i am glad I hadn't read the original story it really would have pissed me off. Your natural extenstion was very well written and very clear in it's portrayal of a wronged husband, a very considerate and loving new wife and the slut.

fighting for their family. This is what they mean. Tanya(Toni) says he didn't fight for her. But she had already proven she wasn't worth fighting for. Stephanie knows that her husband is worth fighting for and with the help of her family she does just fine. ***** for another great loving wive's story.

I liked how you finished that story series.I was put off about how uneven Toni was in the original 5 stories.We are introduced to a principled, very moral, loving, intelligent, giving woman who respects and deeply loves and cares about her husband.Who then suddenly is extremely self absorbed, selfish, naive and seems to completely forget her husband and any common sense you were led to believe she had.Never really felt like she was truly conflicted , where as the character that was layed out for us would have to have been and such a mess would not be so clean and tidy. That said was glad to get a resolution to the story and some solace for the forgotten character we sympathize for.

I just wish real life would end up like this story.......u know the good guy not finishing last....SIGH!!!!!

Every now and again, when the BTB stories or the wimp/cuckold stories get to be overwhelming, I revisit this story and revel in an ending worth reading. True, the original author did nothing but set the table for this, but Patricia51 finishes it off so nicely, with just the right amount of karmic reward for all involved.

I'm not a BTB kinda person and in fact, am partial to a reconciliation and happily ever after type of ending. But the ending by the original author left alot to be desired and showed zero evidence of the apparent love and trust that both Toni and Stephan supposedly had.

I definitely enjoyed this ending far more than the original penned by the author.

Great way to end the original story.

Damn I miss your stories on this site.

Hated the original story and almost didn't read this one because of it...would've been my loss! Excellent finish! Started laughing as soon I read it was a little Southern town (half expected Tanya to 'vanish' in the local area woods. LOL! I know way WAY too many Stephanie-type women!!!