by Oedipus_Dreams
As an avid reader of mother/son incestuous love stories, I like the italicized thought speak of the character. This style gives the read a better, quicker insight into the mental process of the character. In this case, the mother is self-confident based on her success. However, she lacks self-awareness due to the fact she does not realize what is missing from her life. She is a good mother but has lost her sexual self because she does not want to repeat her earlier mistake of becoming attached to/marrying the wrong man. This is a good story, currently worthy of 5 star rating.
Author needs to turn on grammar and spell check. He is way over descriptive in his writing which makes the whole story too wordy. Sorry to the author but I really could not get into the story because of his style.
Heather lay** back in her bed. Please learn the words lie, lay, laid, etc.
And semicolons aren't for decoration. If you insist on using them, find out what they're for. They're not an upgraded comma.
Your lead off is done quite well. You have left your readers intriqued and wanting more. I enjoyed the fact that rather than using the harsh wording of the present world, you chose to use the word crotch, and the description of him was, erection. Again I say, an excellent begining. I look forward to the next installment.
This is an excellent, highly literate contribution by an author who's 18 to 22 years old, so perhaps as young as his hero, Sean, who's 18. The gifted writer is fascinated by the idea of motherfucking, especially by mothers who suddenly, inexplicably find themselves lusting for their own boy and what her boy's got that's big and hard between his strong young legs. I can hardly wait for the next installment. My guess (and hope) is that mom will discover that Sean is equally lusting for that wonderful hole between his mother's legs. In any case, kudos to this terrific new writer!
I'll be looking for the erotic elements to increase but don't mind a slow steamy start. I hope their journey has some fresh elements.
But I would have liked a little more for this first chapter.
You do have a gift of words, but dont let your acurracy overshadow the importance of a smooth following story.
Be guided by authors like alwayswantedto and lovecraft68. They nearly always get the red 'H' because of a captivating story, involving real feeling.
Literally can't wait for the next chapter.
You should stay realistic and not get too complicated. The experiences peeping, sniffing and jo in the pantyhose will make good story. Mom knows more than you think and will help in right circumstances.
I liked the story- it's a nice beginning.
As a hardcore M/S incest romance fetishist, I've got my own detailed wish list of how it'll develop but most importantly- to YOU what story NEEDS to be told?
Is this Heather's chance to have love at last or just finding a way to avoid the empty nest?
Is Sean obsessed with his mother or just with porn b/c teenage girls are an emotional nightmare to navigate?
Only you, the author, can answer these questions to suit your needs. If we readers are pulled along for the ride, you've succeeded in entertaining us. I'm eager to see what you do with it.
Good start. A bit flowery in tone, but good character development & intrigue. Keep 'em coming!