All Comments on 'Mi Familia Ch. 18'

by srlmort

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
You have got to be f****** kidding me

18 chapters and you end it like that? the last 3 chapters just rehashing the same shit and NOOOOOOOOO resolution for the 3 other than what we knew in Chapter 1. this is total bull***t.

EMArnoldEMArnoldover 12 years ago

What of the conclusion? What feelings changed in the minds of Jared and Vince to lead to the final commitment? There are two stories here: the friendship and the sexual relationship that centers around Diante. The friendship I understand, the sexual relationship I don't. So many chapters have been dedicated to Diante pressing his friends in a certain direction, but what of the development of the two friends' (Vince and Jared) feelings for one another?

While I applaud your use of a multicultural cast, I find myself disappointed by the development of the ultimate relationship. There was a very slow buildup to this chapter, which showed bursts of inspiration (finally Vince taking a stand and Jared getting some space and perspective), but after finishing if one where to ask me how these three friends ended up together I would say that it was less about Vince and Jared and more about desperation to keep Diante in their lives...

srlmortsrlmortover 12 years agoAuthor
Points well taken

Greetings,

I usually dont answer comments or reviews on stories but its a free read so I feel its okay.

I do intend to have better resolutions when I sit down to edit the story and add more insight into the makngs of their relationship.

I need a break from them for a while. I know they'll have some more for me when I pick it back up and get it ready for publishing in Nov.

Thanks so much!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

I agree with what the other person wrote...

I felt like it was just getting to the good part where we learn how they resolve the problem that existed for them and then ended without showing how they resolved it to get to the point of being together as lovers and friends. We didn't find out how they got from trying to work it out as a couple and a friend living together or how they got to all three being together. Those two aspects had to be answered. You ended up just skipping to the end before they resolved the conflict that existed for 18 chapters. I hope you do go back and finish it, b/c while I can understand your needing a break, it isn't fair to the reader to stick with it for so long and not get a full ending. Good luck

dinkybootsdinkybootsalmost 12 years ago
COMMENTS

i always wait to read the FULL story before i leave a comments.? ive read each and every one in the last three hours.? three hours of this ..and just when we get to the end of it ...YOU FUCKED IT UP .FOR FUCKS SAKE. the very last part of it ...YOU SCREWED UP BIG TIME. whats up didnt you have the thoughts to do i better job.....i am completly pissed off now.....I WILL AVOID YOUR STORIES IN FUTURE AS I DONT THINK YOU DESERVE MY LOYALITY.....fucking disgrace......

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