All Comments on 'Miami'

The story was well written. But towards the end it suddenly speeded up (a complete contrast to the relaxed pace earlier) and ended almost abruptly. It's almost as if the author was too tired to write any more and just wanted to end it.

If that was improved, the story would get a much higher rating because the writing was really good for the first two-thirds.

- JT

I agree with the other comment. The story was excellent, but then you tapered off into nothing at the end. This story needs an author that has an imagination that does not get tired. You seem to have gotten tired.

Agreed, the ending was abrupt, maybe more so to the reader than the writer. But it didn't diminish the pleasure derived from the measured pace that preceeded it [one person's opinion, anyway] Was excellently done. Keep it up, and thank you.

Very well written, thank you

Thank you for such a wonderful & sexy story.

Agree with previous comment, speeded up too quick towards end, but v. v. good!

Thanks so much for all your comments. I like to hear all, good and bad. I don't have anyone to bounce story ideas off, but maybe if I did I could have avoided the "abrupt" ending. Your comments are very astute. In truth, I had wanted to write more, but just sat and looked at this story time and again and just couldn't get a feel for the final love-making session and ending. How to write it. Weeks went by. Months. So I just wrapped it up as best I could. Maybe I'll figure out how to do it one day and submit it again as a revision. Again thanks to all. Writeman.

i realy wanted to know more of what was going to happen, i felt a little let down. However i loved that it was him that had the headache and that they didn't have sex right away. It reminded me of one of my favorite things, wakeing up next to a sexy woman. Check out the vol. editors if you want to bounce ideas off people, it helped for me.

If you had not rushed the ending and just let the scene unfold, you could develop several additional chapters. I would definitely read more.

Otherwise, excellently written. I look forward to more of your submissions

1 of the best ive ever read just a little ending prob but i still like it

You have a naturalness to your writing...if that makes any sense. In other words you write more reality then fantasy. Like with his headache, etc.. I will have to say that your stories do seem to end too abruptly. Why is that? I understand cuz I also have a hard time ending a story without just leaving one hanging....If you figure out the flow, please let me know the secret..by all means..

I will say keep on writing Writeman!