by XXNoraJeanXX
Oh...incest...my weakness and guilty pleasure on Lit! And these two are twins as well! Made me so freaking hot. A few minor errors, but for me they didn't take away from the story. Maybe if you ever had time you could re-edit...but great story and i look forward to more of Mike and Megan. Thanks!
very nice beginning to the story :-)
my only complaint is the shifting between characters . . the first time or two confused me until I realized what you had done . . . you might want to try some way to signify the shift :-)
other than that . . a very nice story :-)
Goes for me too. IRL, absolutely no interest in actual incest. But for some reason, well written brother/sister incest stories on this site are my guilty secret. This was well done, but as someone else said, it would help if you could find a way to alert the reader when you switch from one twin's thoughts to the other.
You are doing great depicting the brother/sister love. Good character description. A little too soon to see if there is going to be character development.
I like the sensitive way you describe the sex scenes - most stories just dive into the sex scenes like a bomb.
They are not using protection? A baby could make things complicated at this stage! But maybe that is part of you story plan...
Keep writing!
I really enjoyed your story. Loved the way Mike is so caring of his sister and you clearly showed the love between them. I would really like to read further episodes.
This is a great story, well told. (Well, it could use some editing here and there b/c you occasionally used a wrong word.) Your writing style is excellent. It's very touching to see the love between these twins, and their ability to overcome difficulties. I love the subtlety of their relationship---not "slam-bam-thank-you-mam," just genuinely loving each other. Love instead of just hormones. Their tender concern for each other is a model. My only disappointment? That you never continued it. I see the first comments date from 07, so I guess that means there won't be any more chapters. In fact, I'm not sure you'll ever even see this comment. But if so, PLEASE give us more of this couple!
You always get some reader that tell's about your spelling or the pacement of words.
I had no trouble reading your story. As I was never good with typing,or my english I II III & IV. I when through 4 years a english in HS . I hated my teacher and she hated me. Maybe, I should write about her. LOL
Anyway, I enjoyed your story about Mike and Megan . Please !! Try and not take too long with more of it .
It's simply sublime when it's her brother who busts his sister's cherry. Here Mike is so loving and considerate to his sister Meg that after the small initial pain she welcomes her brother's big stiff prick up her tight little twat. Mike knows a thing or two about twats, and having his prick up his beloved sis's adorable twat has him tingling from head to toe, it's the most glorious feeling he's ever had. He's a big strong boy, he knocked out his filthy rapist-uncle and tied up him like a turkey, yet he's gentle as a poet when it comes to his Meg. Mike uses his big cock up his sister's tight cunt till she cums like crazy, then unloads his brotherly balls in his sister, shooting her a great big cuntful of his creamy semen. There's no sequel, sadly, but I know that Mike and Meg will be together the rest of their lives, they'll get married and have cute little incest kids. When the kids grow up, the tall well-built boy will fuck his mother and Mike will fuck his darling baby girl. This little family doesn't need any outsiders, family cocks are for family cunts, and family love shows itself in the constant hot incestuous fucks.
Please don't leave this story hanging. It has been 6 years since you wrote this story saying chapter one. So I feel you need to either write a second chapter to either tie it up or write a few more chapters. I always find it a pain when a writer states a story and never finish it. Leaving us the readers with wanting to know what happens and how it ends. So please at least finish the story if you don't plan to make it a series and don't keep us waiting another 6 years to read it.
Just for example:
"No seriously Mike! I heard something. I think someone is home! You had better get out of here." I said with panic evident in my voice.
It should be:
"No seriously Mike! I heard something. I think someone is home! You had better get out of here," I said with panic evident in my voice.
(Comma after a quotation, not a period.)
Good story though,
Ignorant anonymous fuckers need ignoring, this is Literotica not fucking English Lit. Good story, keep writing.
As I mentioned with a previous story, you really want to get yourself an editor or proofreader. The quotation issue has been mentioned, but you also slip to present tense several times, and have silly mistakes like gas-peddle (gas pedal) or world-wind (whirlwind). It breaks the flow of the story, because it throws me off every time.
Other than that, I enjoy your (brother & sister incest) stories. They're sweet. And there aren't nearly enough stories on this site that focus on sweetness.