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This is my second time around reading this, my first was as an anon, but there’s a charm in this story I can’t put my finger on, Lucretia is so well written as a character and tbh a perfect foil to Greg’s damaged personality, she, for me is the star of this story in so many ways, at times fierce, other times almost an ingénue, pure spun gold. Many thanks Payenbrant, for writing, posting and leaving this here for our continued enjoyment. Regards Ppfzz.
Don't make Greg seem to be always correct. He follows what he feels to be correct and gets angry when the situation isnt correct according to him, that also identifies bully-like attributes.
Otherwise, you have amazing writing skills and have a really good story.
Consider publishing a book. I would definitely buy it!
There are a lot of kindle books out there from Literotica authors. several of them have been actually fairly successful. I feel your writing style could make you one of them. I am just a fan of reading though, but that's my .02 on it. Publish, make back a buck or two. Its a darn good story and it would be a good book or even start of a series.
I am really enjoying this story. So well written and thought out. And it is full of that very special magic that draws the reader not only into the story but into the characters lives as well.