All Comments on 'Miss Perkins: Tuesday'

Infuriating writing style, dialogue that sounds asinine when read out loud, hundreds more words of mind-numbing "plot," and totally unsympathetic characters. Worst of all, when you finally get around to the sex, it's not the least bit erotic. This story is in a death spiral. 1/5

Do you have something against writing full sentences?

Stream of consciousness I mean does anybody read anymore?

The critiques for this and the first chapter were so harsh, it made me curious... So I checked this writers other submissions, and her scores are high... Most are 4.5+. Most are also in different categories... So you wonder, are we lesbian sex readers a tough and judgemental audience? Maybe. What shocks me is how many admitted to reading (and not liking) chapter one, and then read chapter two only to heap more critism :)

You don't have to continue reading a series you don't like...I did read the first two chapters of this series, and it's not really my thing, as I shy away from the D/s, pet, humiliation scene... but this was actually done in a cute and funny way. The sentence structure and free form thought/writing are somewhat distracting, but kind of funny too. I may not read the future chapters, but for those that continue I would ask that we be more constructive in our critiques. This has to be a lot of work (for no pay!) so we should at least show respect if not appreciation.

Really disappointed with the sentence structure as it made following the story difficult. I found myself re-reading entire paragraphs to make sure who said what. In the end, I was fustrated and skipped to the sex and OMG -- worse..

I want to be kind, but what happened? Was this the unedited version?

Most of the negative comments are probably from one pathetic loser guy who can't think of anything better. Doesn't bother me, I write for me and if you hate it, not my problem. If you love it, I suppose we have the same taste or you are on something good. ;)

Symtron I'm not quite sure you are reading the same story you commented on. Dialogue is done in separate paragraphs and I tend to make it clear who is talking first then second. If you can't follow the dialogue then perhaps I fucked up somehow, also possible you are on something you shouldn't or should be on something. I am happy you had the balls to say I suck with your username. Don't care but hey, you go man. :)

If you don't care, then why bother commenting? I think you actually DO care - hence the mean-spirited, butthurt comment on your own story.

I've got a newsflash for you: Symtron isn't on drugs, as you imply, nor are any of the other reviewers. All the negative comments on your two chapters are completely justified. If you can't see the glaring flaws for yourself, then you're either in denial or you're truly incompetent.

Critism - sometimes harsh - is a fact of life for any writer. No one is exempt. Either grow up and learn to handle it, or find another hobby.

Novel concept with 'virgin' lesbian, long since come out, but having problems getting into action and culture. A very likeable punkish gal. I hope she win out/in ;-)

So now Miss Perkins got her. Could be great, could be disaster, lots of missing pieces with that Lady. Sofar she seems nice, if a bit fumbling. Trying to live up to something she dont understand?

Eagerly awaiting next fix.

love VvV

Loved the story and hope you continue on with it.

Ignore the negative, maybe they should go to the library and borrow a book with no errors.

Have to wait for the days to get posted, I did as much of the story as I feel like. Mostly that means I couldn't continue so just left it with the last day finished, which is not posted yet.

Oh yeah and virgin boy it's criticism. Critism is not a word in the english language. Here I will even give you the definition so perhaps you can do that in the future. Surprise me, actually notice the difference between what you spew and what it means.

Constructive criticism is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one.

Agree with symtron's perspective. The only "real" part of this unreal tale is that it's really badly written.

Emap,

Constructive criticism has fuckall to do with implied or inferred tone. It's determined by the applicable merit of the suggestion itself. For your own sake, avoid attempting to refute anyone with a definition that you invent for yourself.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/constructive+criticism

Telling you (albeit in different words) that your choice to repeatedly and randomly modify sentence syntax to omit the subject irritates and disorients your readers is constructive criticism. Telling you that your article and punctuation selections and usage are wrong, ineffective, and easily corrected is constructive criticism. Telling you that your writing could be greatly improved by pulling your head out of your ass and having an honest look at honest feedback is constructive criticism.

Perhaps you intended your stories to be jarring and unpleasant as an artistic statement? Perhaps you lack the requisite knowledge to understand what your readers are complaining about? More likely, it's too late to make corrections to this series now and you're butthurt that what you thought would be sharp and innovative is jagged and offputting instead.

Roger up, acknowledge comments, and learn.

Sexymandy since you managed to understand what I mean and actually said what is wrong instead of your grammar sucks I will explain.

This story is in first person, I do hope you managed to understand that. When you are doing something, say talking to a man or woman you find sexy and they make a comment that is meant to be funny, do you think 'I am giggling because that is funny'?

To put it another way since obviously you didn't get it to begin with. There are parts where it is something like giggle and nod after a comment because I am putting YOU IN THE STORY. As in this is you doing things as described in the story. Hate it, love it, don't really care I don't care. Understand what is going on or stop reading, I don't put stories in here to get rave reviews, make money, or listen to what three or four people tops think I should write like.

I'm with @sexymandy95. Every point that she and the rest have made is completely valid. No amount of posturing on your part can change the fact that this story is just plain wretched.

Now how about you do us all a favor? Instead of posting rambling, pointless comments trying to justify this steaming pile while simultaneously trying to convince us that you don't care what we think, STFU and accept that some of us dislike your story. If you did this, maybe you wouldn't get all the flame comments. But if you keep posting comments that read like they were written by a butthurt 14-year-old virgin male, you'll probably keep getting the hate, and deservedly so.

The major problem I see that Emap excuses Stream-of-consciousness style as license to abandon rules of grammar and punctuation. Those too lazy to at least try and do things right, by learning the basic rules of grammar, are prone to instinctively become defensive when their errors are pointed out by others. Emap's rejoinder to public comments is evidence enough that some ignorance of proper usage is at play.

I think most of us would agree that language is fluid, but only those who have mastered the rules earn the right to bend or break them in the name of creativity, free of consequence. Pioneers of the narrative style (James Joyce, Tom Wolfe, etc.) still subscribed to the macroscopic idea that the narrative has to be understood in order to work. Some will dismiss this notion as petty grammar policing, as Literotica accepts submissions from amateur authors. All I care to add is that disregarding the number of comments about confusion and poorly understood dialog heightens the perception of Emap's bloated ego.

The author is sending mixed signals about desiring feedback. On her profile she's requesting more, but all we seem to get from her public comments is diatribe, squawking, "Haters, haters, haters." Sorry Emap, but you can't have it both ways. How about you demonstrate some stones to back up your 'I don't give a shit' attitude by turning off public feedback.

emap, I just want to say how much I am enjoying your stories. I hope you are working on more writing projects to post to this site. You have a terrific writing style. With clever humor and adult characters. I really like the way you write conversations and your sex scenes are erotic.

As for errors, don't sweat it, you should see the hate mail I get over my deliberately multisyllabic and confrontational writing style. I love too rub the haters noses in their own crapulousness. You and I are adults. we know that we will win some and we will lose some but unless you dare you lose everything.

"Men build fortresses to be impregnable; God inspires men to storm them anyway,"

This cacophony of incompatible technology we rely upon is barely capable of relaying a coherent message. We are not surprised it fails so often, the only surprise is that our mishmash of technology ever worked in the first place!



Speltczech is homophone-phobic coded by progroomers who are functionally illiterate!

 It is down-wrong hilarious, even hilaristurbing when auto-replace functions place the wrong word in the correct context. 



Punnies and malapropisms and the odd catachresis or even a mondegreen will spice up the reading enjoyment for those of us who laugh at the pretentious nonsense palavered by the grimmer nasties. Undeniably the result of their misseducation. 

 They are the epitome of ultracrepedarianism.

If you have ever had the misfortustance to be forced to attend social functions/seminars/conferences for any Academic English Department of any institution of 'higher' learning.

You will notice that the 'educators' (with and without tenure) are divisible into three groups. Drunks, potheads and senile drunken potheads.



Academic English has got to be one of the worst methods of communication since neo-confuscianism.

Noah Webster was a pre-mature fascist and Thomas Dewey was an incipient nazi.

If Olivia is so hard up for sex she is willing to do a guy to have a baby for a woman that won't have 1 herself because reasons,she needs to find a better girlfriend.