All Comments on 'Mistake of a Lifetime'

I want some more .

I know it's a cleaner ending to not have to deal with her, but there was no good reason not to save her at any time once they knew where she was. They were going to attack. They bad guys knew the first four had been killed. That Kimber was alive and out for them, why not save the sister? Too big a hole to forgive, the writer or Rachel.

Very good read. would enjoy more chapters with them as a couple :-)

Cheers !!

I enjoyed your well written story, although there were some plot items that did not make sense.

Also, the story might find a more receptive audience in Non-human rather than SF&F.

The juxtaposition between two focused, cold-blooded killers, and their tender loving affection for each other was an unusual contrast, and ultimately was too black and white with not many shades of gray.

The violence was too graphic for me, but there were enough warnings at the beginning that I knew there would be some.

From the very beginning, it was obvious the sister would die, but I agree with a different comment that it did not need to happen.

I was very surprised that Kimber was not turned into a vampire at the end, and yet they both got to be together. Usually one expects one person to convert so that they share a significant part of their lives. Bravo for going in a different direction.

I did not understand why Rachel needed permission from another vampire. Surely she was independent now. But then, I also did not understand the reference to Kimber possibly becoming a Warm.

Please write again. These characters were interesting and surely they will have more adventures together.

This my first posted story in a whole collection I'm working on, other characters and lengths. Keep the feedback coming! Love seeing it!

Excellent submission. I wish I could be more eloquent than that but it was well done all around.

Great character development (for me) with a concise storyline. You wrote out a full 6 Lit pages worth of continuous story, which is an impressive feat in and of itself. I'm definitely looking forward to more of your writings.

Very well done. Not usually into vampire stuff, though I have indulged in urban fantasy with weres.

Room for expansion, exploring relationship between Rachel and Augostino, explaining more background, etc.

5 *

This was a fantastic story and I wish there was a second chapter where Rachel would turn Kimber into a vampire as well. But either way, like I said, this was a fantastic story. Great job!

I loved this! You have some mad writing skills & I can't wait to read more! Please keep writing!!

now that was a great story.hope to see more like it