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Click hereMother rose from the bench, unsure of why she felt a touch of intimidation. It was the way her children were smiling, as if they knew something she did not. That idea alone was enough to make her nervous. Then there was the mention of the pie . . . .
"I just might do that," Mother said, backing toward the door. "But, it, uh, looks like ya'll're closin' . . . ."
"Good night, Mother," the twins said together, watching the woman leave.
"Think we should'a told her?" Gretel asked her brother.
Hansel smirked. "Nah. I got a feeling she'll find out right soon enough what the Potion o' th' Ugly Heart does."
Gretel chuckled. "Too bad it's permanent, huh?"
"Yep. Too bad."
***
Outside in the parking lot, Mother leaned against the Cadillac, catching her breath. Although she could not rid her mind of the thought that her disenfranchised children had done something to her food -- most likely spiked it with a laxative or somethin' -- the fact that she was away from them gave her some relief.
Well, good for them, she thought. But I definitely ain't never comin' back t' this place.
Behind her, she heard one of the men from inside the diner clearing his throat. Mother perked at the sound. Hmm. Perhaps this won't be a total loss after all, she thought and turned about, mustering her best seductive smile.
"'Scuse me an' all, ma'am," began the stocky man as he stood beside his Ford pickup. "But I was wonderin' if ya -- oh! Lordy Jesus!" he exclaimed, face twisted in an expression of disgust. He fumbled with his keys, running around to the driver's side of the truck. Mother heard him make retching noises before he managed to jerk open the door. Tires screeched upon gravel, making the woman shield her face from flying debris as the truck sped away.
"Well!" she sputtered. "That was just rude!" No, I definitely ain't comin' back this way.
Then she turned and caught her own reflection in the darkened windows of the now-closed diner.
And screamed in terror upon beholding the most hideous, disgusting vision of ugliness she would ever witness. It was a scream so cacophonous that windows rattled and small animals fled. A scream that only ended when the world's ugliest woman finally surrendered to horror-born unconsciousness.
Within the diner, the twins shared a triumphant look as they gazed out through the windows. "Ya know, that felt better'n I thought it would," Hansel said.
Gretel inhaled deeply, then let it out. "Guess it was only right an' just that Mother'd come see us sooner or later," she said. She touched her brother's arm. "Time for bed?"
Hansel smiled, taking Gretel's hand. "Time for the rest of our life t' start," he said.
Hand in hand, the twins turned and headed back through the diner, ultimately to their rooms beyond the kitchen. Their hearts felt lighter and their future more clear. Only time would tell what would befall Hansel and Gretel. But one thing was for certain . . . .
They lived happily ever after.
I stopped reading your story after page 2. I cant imagine my giving another person giving her head or even a kiss
Kind of odd, but I liked it, with a very nice ending.
It's about time that at least some bitches in this world can taste their just desserts.
No! No! No! You bloody bleating pervert!
Well written as others have related, however, I would have liked more sex between the twins with all the erotic details. In contrast to most of the other comments, I'd have preferred more arousing details and less plot. This is, after all, LitEROTICA.
A very creative story. Some of it was quite disturbing but very creative just the same. I found it a little too long but I know with the chain story you can't break it up into chapters.
Loved this story! Especially the end when dear mama gets what she deserved.
You took a classic fairytale and turned it into a dark, sexy, and scary modern fairytale. With a happy ending. Just the way all fairytales should end
This is an absolutely wonderful retelling, with the perfect twist on the elements of the original. I agree, this is one of your best.
I couldn't believe the page numbers when I started (8 pages!) but they FLEW by! This was an amazing modernization of the tale, a wonderful amalgam of fairy tale and reality. Truly awe-inspiring. I'm loving this chain!
Amazing tale! Probably the longest story I've read on this site, but it was worth every page!
this one shows the reason why. Just the right amount of everything mixed in to make it a wonderful read. Great job.
I loved it. I think it's one of the best things you've written! The scene of poverty you painted was so indicative of rural life I really felt like I was in the story. And it had a happy ending. Perfect!
Wonderful addition to the chain. Well done!!