All Comments on 'Mollie from Montana Ch. 07-11'

My thanks to Literotica for getting this 'Fix' up to correct my stuff-up with submitting chapters of Mollie from Montana from Chapter 7. The unraveling was up within a few hours. Sorry for the confusion I caused and I guess Literotica folk pulled out the stops knowing 'Mollie from M' had attracted a loyal little band of readers. I felt for my creation of Mollie and feel I breathed life into her. I admire Mollie.

This lot is quite boring sorry, don't draw out the chapters too long, you lose focus

Mollie from Montana is one of your most engaging characters.

Hell, I let her represent me in a New York second.

Boyd

There's no accounting for what bores and what doesn't bore people Anonymous and you are entitled to be bored. However, I very much doubt your focus and critical ability when you rate a submission with some quality 00. Get out of here.

Your comment caught my eye so I had a look - you are voting on your own stories? Are you really that desperate for votes or are your stories so bad that they can’t make it on their own without some help from you in the voting department?

The writer of this story casts two votes of 100 each for his own story?

Oh boy, that is desperate. Do you regard your own story as so bad that it needs all the help you can give it? And to SamualX, the next story you write will get a vote of 100 from me, no not for the story but for integrity, something this writer seems to lack.

I infrequently comment so giving myself a vote for the depth of my comment, my audacity and reasonable quality of overall comment shouldn't matter much because I don't write for money or to win anything. However I was open about it and signed my name unlike you two blunt-ended critics. Did you rate my story or just wanted to bite butt? Thank you for nothing. As for integrity, I hope you noticed I haven't removed your thoughtfully framed comments. Oh, I have remembered to be humble and rate this submission as 00.

Thanks for writing this story I really love this story, is there anyway you could

continue this story or write a continuation story to pick up where this one leaves off.

Thanks Again for writing it !!!

Abrupt switch in the second part from the first 6 chapters. Similar to many other stories written by the writer - is the stories too long for you to remember your characters or do you get confused easily?

It's a great story, very enjoyable. But spoiled to a degree by lack of proof-reading.

You're a good writer. I've enjoyed most of your stories

Best wishes. JB

the story was nice but sometimes i was at a loss and things seemed to progress too fast. the two things i disliked was how easily the cheating spouses and Gart cheating was overlooked. I also disliked how Mollie's family reconciled so easily without address the problems correctly. Gary admitted to cheated with 3 different women and then propse marriage and having children in the same night.

Gary is possibly the wettest character you have ever imagined. It is inconceivable that Mollie would tolerate a long-term relationship with him. This, and the impossibly redneck family in Montana, are major weaknesses in the story.

But your writing felt like it was from the 1890's, stilted, your continuing grammatical errors detracted from the flow and you managed to make Mollie into one of the most coldly calculating, manipulative women that it's been my misfortune to read about. She treats Gary like a wayward child, someone to be lead around by the nose and shown how to behave. Everything she does is prefaced by thoughts on how to advance herself. She barely gets hired before breaking one agreement to keep her love life separate from her business life by kissing Gary in the office. I could go on and on but you and the readers know all that I'm referring to. WHAT A BITCH!

There are so many different issues left dangling you need to write a multi-page Eulogy to tie the ribbons on them, i.e.

1. The wedding - and all the issues with Mollies brothers, like Molly sees problems with Clem - she behind the scenes seeks to hire security to watch him all the time he is town - but Stephen confronts her (and after hearing Elaine's assessment) tells Molly to just enjoy her wedding - Stephen has it all covered, covertly. Clem gets in serious trouble with the Kings (attempted extortion with Stephen's old flame) - they are swiftly whisked away. Gary gets wind of Clem seeking revenge after getting out of prison and Gary insures Clem never causes the Kings any future problems - only Stephen knows and sees a new side to Gary he never knew possible, approvingly.

2. The coming of the twins - how does that fit into the Law firm having toddlers running around on the 5th floor? GGrandma & Grandma & God-parents (the Porters) providing free joyous baby sitting. Grandpa is smitten with his grandkids and enjoys their surprise office visits.

3. GGrandma retired when the twins are born, then the King & King succession? Which way will Molly go, a work from home mom or office mom with office nursery? Gary being a office dad with his office nursery. Rifts among partners forgetting this law firm is a dictatorship not a full democracy. And Maureen's tentacles and tenacity to protect the family/firms legacy, secretly. Maureen has files on everyone in the firm.

4. Molly & Gary buy and setup a 20acre hobby-ranch w/horses. Molly has a home office and 5th floor office. The next (and last) set of twins arrive all are elated but Molly knowing another 3yrs of diapers and pushing her Sr Partnership out - decisions must be made, how to execute or not, advice/regrets from Maureen but family is #1. Porters dote on the 4-kids (they never had) and setup secret trust funds for each, leaving Gary& Molly their estate - which allows Molly to buy her old family ranch becoming a distant landlord/business owner.

You have so many things to tie up and tangents to explore. The ending was quaint but a step off a cliff for such a long drawn out story to end so abruptly. KRD