All Comments on 'Mom to the Rescue'

Is English your second language? You leave out particles and your wording is stilted. The concept is fine, but your language doesn't flow. You would benefit from an English course directed toward proper written language OR an editor willing to correct the awkwardness.

Had real possibilities. English courses may be somewhat overkill, try a good English speaking editor. The story is there, it just needs better delivery. Keep trying.

Luv this story...keep it up. TQ !!

I read your story,and enjoyed it very much,I had no problems with your writting,and understood exactly what you had intended to say.I think the most impotant thing with erotic writting,is to write with passion,and you do that well......Rich

Sorry, I also have to say that the clumsy wording was distracting which kills the flow of any story. As I'm reading, I'm trying to figure out what you're really trying to say. You have nice story ideas though.

the language is so stilted and formal it is distracting. the bio says the author lives in the U.S. but I suspect moving there may be a recent relocation.