All Comments on 'Moonlight'

apart from the unrealistic pack weights.

but you do badly need a proof reader.

Career is not spelled carrier for example.

"It was my dad's favorite thing to say that you could NOT have too many bungee cords to tie down a load." NOT added!

There is no (') in sodas.

Dialed is not spelled 'dilled'

Pressure is not spelled 'presser'

To say nice story and then pick it apart the way you did was just nasty. A story is written for entertainment, not because it needs the facts checked. Read through it, get over the spelling errors and see the story. I think it's great so far. Can't wait for more. Keep up the good work!

Good start! Not going to comment on any errors, lol. Waiting for chapter 2 ??

Loved reading this story, it is a great beginning. Please write the next chapter soon as it has been too long since this one was writen & I can't wait to read what happens next.

Loved reading this story. I hope you will write & post the next chapter soon.

...to notice the bit about carrying a rifle in Yosemite. Many, umpteen years ago, when the Earth was young and so was I. My parents and grand-parents took us all to camping in Yosemite.

I packed my favorite toy. A realistic sized and looking replica of an M1903 Springfield rifle. Man I loved clacking that bolt-action. Fortunately for every one in line of sight it was not real.

But when the Rangers patrolling the camp sites saw me carrying what looked like a real rifle that was probably as big as me, they had a conniption fit!

They confiscated it until we left a week later. Turns out they didn't allow even toy pistols, cap pistols were very popular for kids. But they were concerned of the fire danger from the sparks generated.