All Comments on 'Moonlighting Pt. 01'

WOW unreal start to a great story. The chemistry between these too is deep. But also seriously twisted.

The author never pasted grade school basic writing class. With all the frequent use of "word...word" and "word -- word" harms the story and shows lack of very basic skills in writing.

First comment, did you mean that the author never 'passed' (not pasted) basic writing? Those keys are a bit far apart for a typo.

This story has a relatively decent premise behind it and the creativity factor is nice and high. Unfortunately it needed to have the spelling and grammar checked before posting.

Not to be overly critical and at the risk of sounding like a complete ass, but it would seriously help almost every story on this site if you guys would stop using the word "cunt". You're trying to develop a sexual scenario and chemistry, right? Cunt is a word you use when you're writing a "straight to the five-dollar bin" porno about a pizza delivery guy and a bored housewife or some inane shit like that. Stop it, please, it completely fucks the entire scene.

My first language is not english so i did not notice the mistakes :P the actual character building and story line is a good one, just wish you made Nick a bit less a dick about the whole thing, he was so respectful at the start? Confusing ..

A WELL written story from start to finish with very few typos that did not diminish the story.

It reminded me of Scott Fitzgerald the way that Riversedge introduced us to the characters in their daily lives before he introduced us to what linked those characters in the street where they lived or worked.

Looking forward to parts 2 and 3 now so please keep writing.

This isn't normally my cup of tea, but it is written well (some minor editing needed, but not to the point of being distracting) and turned me on. Your writing allowed me to escape into the fantasy without being restrained by a slight distaste for the act of shooting off on a girl's face.

Anxious to read the other chapters.

You're such a good writer!!