All Comments on 'Mother Enslaves Future Son In-law!'

You’ve written a story about a girl friend’s mother who is clearly a sadist psycho. Any young man with at least a partially functioning brain would get the hell out of there as fast as they can. He should dump the narcissistic girl friend, also. The only future contact he should have with Stella is to perhaps return some night with 5 or 6 of his bar buddies and they can all take turns spit roasting and anal fucking her. This would occur of coarse after she is thoroughly whipped to a bloody pulp.

It would have been much better if Stwlls was wearing sexy clothing such as garter belts, stockings & high heels to tease her boy friend with!!!

The fact that the mother had full access to her sin-in-law ro dominate him & teach him neww tricks!! Its ashame she wasn't wearing sdtockings & a garter belt while training him!!!

LOved the way Stella fucked her son-in-law!!! Would have been much better if she was wearing a gerter belt, stockings & heels to dress for the occassion!!!

First and foremost, why don't you have any dialogue in your story? Is there a conscious reason for this omission?

Dialogue allows the characters to come to life. Consider the following two examples.

1. Stella started whispering naughty things into my ears and soon I was hard as a rock.

2. Stella leaned into my ear and whispered, "You've been talking all night. I can think of a better use for your mouth."

Which one do you think is better? Don't **tell** us there was dirty talk, **show** us the dirty talk. That's what we're all here for!

He goes to the hospital and reports a rape (she tricked and bound him) and then she whipped him with props and anally raped him. The police are called and Stella goes to jail for a very, very long time. Rape by women and sexual violence is also punishable by imprisonment for women of up to twenty years.

Especially if you could have slowed down the pace of the story slightly and then there wouldn't have been so many missing words. It tends to spoil the reading when you have to guess.

Your grammar is not great and you swap tenses a lot.

Although the storyline is pure fantasy if you do a follow up reign it in a bit.

Hot story, but the post sex thigh whipping and ass beating were just a bit unnecessarily cruel. Also the strapping and caning were a bit too hardcore, as was the pegging, CBT, and piss drinking. Not to mention full time live in slavery. Actually Stella's a bit of a psycho! But it was fantasy fiction and good fun. No person in real life would survive Stella LOL!

For hot porn this is a good read to get off! I bet there are guys out they with the same fantasy!

Even though it is a fantasy it is exciting to think what it would be like to submit to your mother inlaw. It is an erotic story not the truth picky readers suck trying to be reality checkers. They are the ones who need a good ass screwing by their mother inlaw.

That's the way it started with me. I now live with my mother in law and only see my wife when she drops by with her boyfriend. I am always made to suck his cock before they leave. If I don't swallow all of his load I get a spanking from him as well.

I don't know how I missed this one earlier. Probably the "Bi" in your name. The story was a roller coaster rise!

What a remarkably well written story. I appreciate the details you used and the flow was very good. I definitely look forward to future submissions. Thank you for such a HOT story!!

What a great story--very erotic and arousing! The descriptions of every FemDom act were very vivid. What i would not give to meet Stella or her daughter or both! Any chance they are based on real women?

Keep up the great writing. i look forward to reading more.

I look forward to reading much more! Stephen is such a lucky/unlucky (delete as appropriate) young man!

Thanks for a great story.