by iser21
Good effort but the word is college--not collage, and the plural of pussy is pussies (not pussy's). And the description of the pussy makes me wonder if you have ever seen one..."Her lips close to her body. Her cunt pushed out from her body. You could not see past her lips." How could the lips be in and the cunt pushed out, and how could you see past the lips, unless they were gaping open?
not a bad start, but please-college, not collage.
Couldn't even make it past the first couple paragraphs without throwing this garbage out. You need to proofread before you submit work. Such blatant non-editing made me disinterested in reading further.
I'm 20 in collage in
"I see your busy
Good try but id have to agree with the others try proof reading next time and by the way Who's ass is going to get shaved? and Why would she want to shave his ass for? not trying to bash you or anything just a little constuctive feed back
Learn how to spell if you want to write as a "collage" student. And it just goes downhill form that first sentence.
Bleh. I find it funny how some can say, "Don't pay attention to others criticism" when this is the biggest piece of shit i've read this week so far. Utter garbage.
It amazes me that this stuff even is allowed to be submitted. Anyone that says this is a decent or reasonable effort probably has a 7th grade education and writes stories just like this one; junk.
How in the heck does one get into college when they can't even spell the word COLLEGE?????
freaking amazing, I couldn't even make it past the first sentence....
Even the title is missing an apostrophe.
lrn2literacy plz
Seriously, this kind of illiterate nonsense should simply be deleted by literotica. It degrades the site.
Hope to see the next chapter soon
Rich, you seem to cheer on the poorest stories posted here. Why? It makes things worse.
Couldn't read anymore after reading "It looked like a little girl's"
Thats so wrong
I stopped reading after the first half of the very first sentence. "I'm 20 in collage..." I scanned through a few more paragraphs and found at least one grammatical error for each.
I determined then and there I would offer some constructive criticism.
Unless you are a part of a 'collage' - which seems a bit odd - you are a retard. Don't write anymore, or, at the very least, try to find an editor that would be willing to expend a great amount of time correcting excruciating grammatical errors.
Apparently you are a reader who wants to be a writer but lacks the skill to form a coherent sentence.
It is probably not your fault. You are undoubtedly a product of a public school system, or have suffered a debilitating traumatic brain injury. If the latter is the case, I apologize in advance.
I don't know how much time you expended in 'writing' this crud, but no matter how much, it was too much.
The one positive I can find in your post is that it makes most other posts seem almost Pulitzer ready by comparison.
:-) I guess every cloud has a silver lining if we look hard enough.
Regards.
until you decide to use it, I'm just going to scan your stories before I can ever try to enjoy them.
The author is a guy in his 30s with a marvelously filthy mind. I love the description that goes with the title, "Mother helps me with my hard on." A loving, caring mom is always ready to help her boy with his hard on. She fists it with a firm motherly hand, or takes it in her mouth or up her ass or--best of all--up the same warm wet hairy hole the kid came out of. The kid is hard, so he naturally goes to his mommy for help as he's always done. And, as always, mommy comes through. She knows her boy's got to blow his young balls, he's got to shoot his big load of sperm. So mommy opens her mouth or--what a great mommy--spreads her thighs, and relieves her kid of his load. If she's the best mommy of all, she feels the jets hitting her cunt-walls, filling her to the brim with her boy's precious sperm. He becomes a grinning young motherfucker and she knows the truth of the old saying, "a son-fucked twat is a happy twat."
Mother being a helper is a fantasy. In my case it wasn't my mother, but a friend's mother that I wish would have helped me. But it never happened.