All Comments on 'Mouse Bk. 07 Ch. 03'

the ending of the story was perfect. nothing else needs to be said. am i misunderstanding you because the your talking is sounds like your going to take the series off your list of stories written.

It's just so right that "Grandma" Mouse would tell her Grandkids about Sex and Never Having Regrets. and that Her and Michael would be buried side by side.

true Romance.

Not the ending I was expecting, but an ending all the same. A great series, and it is a shame it had to finish. I cant wait for your next work.

Cheers

Craig

The effort you (the author) put into this is very much appreciated. I'm curious though about the loose end with Melanie. You never really addressed what happens with her, although there's a hint of incest with her son. I hope that didn't happen though. This incest felt right. Her with her son feels wrong in this particular case, in my opinion.

She lived honestly, worked hard at her true calling, and loved fully. R.I.P., Mona.

I just wanted to let you know that the end of Mouse was well worth the wait. I do hope we get future peeks into the years Michael and Mouse had together.

IT WAS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND NOTHING I EXPECTED. WHICH IS OF COURSE THE TELLTALE MARK A SUCCESSFUL AUTHOR LEAVES IN HIS READERS.

THANKS AGAIN FOR THE EXPERIENCE

Mouse is my all time favorite novel. I appreciate how much time you've spent developing the story and characters. Love the relationship between Mona and Michael. The sexual relationship involving Melanie and Kate was not my cup of tea. Overall it is an amazing piece of work. You are a very talented writer. Thank you for all of your stories. I greatly enjoy and appreciate the opportunity to read them.

I can't believe you made me cry for a story on Literotica! That's insane! What an amazing job you did. I love the way you handled it. Was quite touching. All the time your characters wasted getting happy was horrible frustrating though and sorta depressing. I'd love to have heard they had like 30 years together or something!! Couldn't you have thrown in at least a clue of that??

You kept the story fresh, you kept the SEX fresh too which isn't always easy. Was shocked we didn't get any Kate sex scenes but I guess you figured since he actually ENJOYED that maybe it didn't fit in story?

Anyways, congrats on your book. Hope it sees more print than just this site.

Its not far often that such a wonderful piece of erotic literature is seen these days. Such a wonderful story sir. You bring love over lust in a true love romantic story. I loved the ending and will remember this novel. Thank you.

Bravo sir. Bravo.

I've been here reading since the beginning and I would have to say that this is the best story I've read on the site. You made me cry, but it was a great ride the whole time.

This is one of the best stories I've read on lit. I wish the ending book didn't feel so rushed and we saw more of what the characters are thinking, but half of that is just because I didn't want it to end! I would love a PDF copy also!

What I got from Mouse Book was a remembrance of what I felt when I experienced young love and lust at nineteen. You did a magnificent job of conveying that certain feeling that happens so rarely in life and the pain one gets knowing that it cannot be everlasting.

I'd love to see you write something about two young people who slowly fall in love and make love for the first time.

Here I am trying to have a nice 20 min "diversion" and instead I end up spending the whole day reading a riveting, emotional, bittersweet, piece of tragic but yet fulfilling fiction. Bravo.

Spectacular character development. Especially so, since my name is also Michael, and Mouse is exactly the kind of woman I would uncontrollably desire and would drive me crazy with lust and frustration because of her utterly unstable but calculating behavior.

The sex scenes were fantastic...love when good dirty talk is written in...but like you said in your bio, the sex became kind of secondary to the actual story and drama. The emotional conflict between what the character's felt was for the best and their uncontrolled forbidden desire and love for each other, was mesmerizing.

Easily the best work I've read on here...although it left me feeling a bit sad...that they had to separate and just add to the lost time and longing they had for each other...though it was the only way to fulfill the desire for children, i guess.

Excellent job...you have true writer's talent

I tried to get away from reading your novel and get some work done but it is so engrossing and multifaceted I had to find out "what happened next" and spent two days doing little else but glued to the computer.

Your prose, your character development, your vivid imagination...the list can go on. Absolutley wonderful. I wish this story could go on. Perhaps you'll revisit these siblings at some point and fill us in on some of the years. Would love to know how Mouse and Michael dealt with her pregnancy.

I have loved this story each time I have read it. Sad and happy at the same time!

Thanks for sharing this story, I enjoyed it immensely!

I waited until the end to make any comments and now I can't say enough so I'll simply say: THAT was an absolutely wonderful love story.

One thing, though, about Michael Jr. Did Michael Sr. ever know that he was his father?

I'm home sick as a dog. I read the whole story in the span of about a day. Awesome read. Sad but satisfying in the end.

I came on this site to jerk off 2 nights ago, and now have tears in my eyes...

I am moved, and I am a 32 year old man, who has served in the Infantry...

Bullets are not scary... never finding a love like Mouse had for Michael scares me to death...

am i right in saying that they only had many 5-7 years apart after Mouse leaves Michael to date Kate???

Micheal jr. is still small by the time they are at the beach, and Michael's Children were still small when she got pregnant at her fathers funeral...

This is a classic piece man.. a great story and an even greater heart-wrenching ending..

Just took me about a week before i could continue reading through all that melancholy..

Wish mouse and michael had gone far away somewhere and married but not everythings happens the way you want it to be...

You really have a gifted hand..

Keep on writing my friend....

If the world were a just place, this would be put into print by a major publisher. It would certainly raise a lot of controversy, given the subject matter, and might even be banned here and there but I think it would also draw an audience and be popular and loved by many.

You made a tough decision about how to end the story but you carried it off and then gave everyone back most of what they wanted and thought was lost. Quite a trick!

I left a trail of 5-star votes behind me as I read, even when I was starting to see what you might be planning to do and suspecting that I was not going to be happy with what happened at the end. You turned me around on that--which means that I will be able to go on and read more of your stories.

Beginning your story was quite an accident; I actually hit the wrong button and I ended up on Mouse Bk1 Ch1, and since I was there I figured I would give it a try. And now that I have finished my first run through of Mouse and Michael's story (and everyone else) I have to say I am SO glad that I found it.

Now, before I continue I want to apologize for not taking the time to comment in the previous chapters. However, once I explain I hope you will forgive me.

Even before I got through Bk1 Ch1 I knew I loved your writing style. Not just the technical aspects of it, but the creativity and color - if you will, the tone and depth were a bit of a shock. Not like "oh my god, its about incest" kind of shock, but more like being completely and utterly and deliciously surprised. It jarred me: my emotions, my intellect, my perception of self and all of my values and mores, too. Everything that I consider "me" was shaken up. And I loved it! And I hated it, too, but still craved it as well. This world and characters of depth you created, I craved- almost desperately and fanatically, to partake of. Sounds obsessive and psychotic, I know, lol, but it’s true.

A good book can catch my interest, but a truly great story keeps me involved and engaged in the unfolding of it and invested in the characters and their well-being as well. I needed to know what was going to happen next for Mouse and Michael and Melanie. I loved them, and hated them, despised them, admired them, and even yearned for their success; I even relished their trials and struggles as much as I did their triumphs. And at times I felt a vindictive sense of smugness about their weaknesses and just wanted to immerse myself in their agonizing insecurities because I was pissed off with Mouse's immaturity and Michael's weakness (pussy) and Mel's ice princess attitude - all of their hangups - and mine and my own guilt, too. Only to feel like a petty, jealous, slighted (and slightly neurotic, ok not slightly at all *wry grins*) - hmm, I'm lost for words because really, I'm not even part of this story except as only an observer - yet I was so into this story that for a time I forgot that I am here, and they are there.

And in the second to last chapter I cried for Mouse and Michael and hated Mouse and hated Michael and hated Kate and was almost insanely jealous of Kate for having Michael like Mouse couldn't and didn't, especially the children part. And then I'd be mad at myself and then I’m all conflicted and confused because of their filial relationship and the complications, yet I still wanted them together and happy and as a family, and boy did that really just fuck me up. *self-deprecating laugh*

I’m all wrung out now, especially emotionally, but I’m happy as well and content. Mouse eventually did get her Man. And I’m desperately glad for her that she got her happy ending. =) And I’ve added you to my Favorite Authors list! And yes, part of the reason is also because you write some awesome and sexy scenes, as well as some of the best tender and loving ones, too.

I would love to receive Mouse as a pdf, but I need to step back from this story for a little bit and settle down some emotionally, intellectually, morally and physically, but when I do I will go back to the other Books and Chapters you instructed and leave comments there. In the meantime please accept my congratulations, and thank you so much for sharing.

BTW, I 5-Star rated them all. If I missed any it was only because I was rushing to the next part - I'll get back to them all again soon. I promise.

such a romantic story told using erotica... its the tops

I've been reading erotica on this site for a couple of years now, but this has got to be a paradigm for authors dealing with this subject.

The creation of a wonderful tale about incestuous love, obsession, and sacrifice all outside societies accepted norms is wonderful in itself.

The sexual descriptions were graphic without being in the least tasteless which is an achievement in itself.

A wonderful read and thought provoking beyond reason. Well done and much deserved success in the future, and a PDF would be gratefully received, Many thanks, M

Any other author and I would've stopped after chapter one. I loved how you brought all the characters along through all their problems, it all felt so real and so unreal at the same time. The only story on this site that really moved me. Keep up the good work!

I would like a PDF copy please. Of the story, very good. Thanks, sqhd

I still hate you and love you sooo much. Thank you for the story it was so beautiful, sexy, funny, sad, and believable. ooxoox

Strangely it's both sad and joyful at the same, putting the incest aside, mouse is a tragic heroine, loving someone that much and yet until the end never having him all to herself

nice to see them together atlast

so they are together

Great writing and you put a lot of thought into it but i think it was a little conventional for them to live separate lives considering the way the insinuated they were feeling just from a psych point of view and as free as they were with no kids and only family knowing them in both cities it would have been very easy for them to make it work. I think you just put too much emphasis on what societal constraints would actually do. Before people rip into my post i gave every chapter above a four and respect most writers who try i'm just offering some constructive criticism. All in all i think overall we were lucky that you were able to put such a sensual tale together for us. Thank You

I can honestly say that this has been the best story I have read, finished there series in one sitting, I have never been so invested in characters as much as this absolutely brilliant

wish there could have been more of them but i like the ending. this is the way to end an incest story withstanding to the reality factor.

One of my favorite stories on Literotica. I've read it twice and enjoyed it both times. Cried both times too.

Have loved reading this story thought provoking and extremely well written

I was ready to at the end of the last chapter, and you have succeded in getting tears from this man. I understand the need for realism, but it hurts after all the missed years, the lead-up to this point, that they missed even more in the end.

To be honest there was a decline in Bk. 4 a revamp in Bk 5 and no. 6-7 was awkward. The story as a whole was amazing. The depth and realism was certainly a way of bringing life to this tale. But at the end of the day we, the readers, come to this stories to get away from reality. From the depressing, pathetic, agonizing, and plastic reality that consumes us all. I don't like the ending, more so because of how blotchy the segments all and how rather unclear it appears. Still it was a long thought out ride that brings a multitude of emotions rushing out of this young lad. Hmm in the end life must go on and no matter the path we shall one day reach that pinnacle. The point of . . . . . . (Song listened to DEA - The American doller )

I enjoyed the entire series! The last chapter was kind of sad but the only thing I would have changed was telling about Mouse going through pregnancy with Michael's child, and how Michael reacted when he found out about it being his child with his sister.

What a great series. Engaging characters, interesting plot turns, and very well written. This is one of my favorite series on the site!

I am not one to cry easily but you have succeeded. It was a fantastic story. It was long and dramatic, one that at times i was getting mad at, but in the end i kind of wish that it didn't end. Or maybe at least had some more clarification to some points of the story. I really enjoyed the story and i just wanted to let you know and say Thank You.

Damn you. DAMN YOU! You did get this old man all misty eyed. I was ready to hate the ending, but you managed to bring it all back together, albeit by a circuitous route.

As good as the top stories are, this series is even better. I loved the characters, I loved the plot twists and turns, I loved the graphic sex. Would I have written some sections differently? Probably, but it's your story and you did a masterful job. I have this nagging feeling that you're a professional author writing under a nom de plume.

Out-freaking-standing. Or as Melanie would have said: Out. Freaking. Standing.

I found this series to be fantastic. It was so erotic but so infuriating at times. Mouse got my dander up so many times, especially when went on the revenge date all because of Michael's date with Kate. My heart ached when Mouse abandoned Michael. Mouse did what I did, throw away her soulmate. I loved it that she finally got what she wanted all along, a child by Michael. It was really sad that Michael and Mouse could not be together to raise their child like they should have been. At least at the end they were finally together, something I will never be able to experience.

Loved the whole Mouse series!

How can you grade this as just a story you have read when the storyteller takes you further than you have ever gone before,thank you so much for the hours of work put into the planning and the insight of human relationships. Jay.

... the ending. I wanted Mouse and Michael to move somewhere where nobody knew them and they could have love and babies and happy times to the end. I did not get that, obviously.

Nonetheless, this and every chapter of every story got five stars. The quality and depth of the writing was excellent, even when I did not like its direction. The characters stayed mostly in character. And I was really, really disappointed with the ending. A sign of an author's job well done, since I cared about the characters and what happened to them.

Well done, and thanks!

VisualPerv

This is how it should have ended. Michael and Mouse needed each other always. Damn the rest of the world....these two are forever soul mates. Beautifully written story.

This was a good story but thought it dragged on to long. The time between all the men and women in each others lives could have been spent together raising the own children to find out later they loved each other then have to explain their lives to them. The ending was good and I wanted more. Yes I enjoyed it.

I thoroughly enjoyed this so thank you for writing it. I am in awe of your storytelling talent. I hope you write some more.

yes, dammit, it made me cry!

Yes dam it I shed tears as well. Thank You for the journey.

Emotions run strong in this story. Hard to set it down. The ending was as it could only be.

You have a unique writing skill that I sincerely hope you continue to use. I look forward to many more long stories with purpose.

Thank you for the the time you spent writing and for the unique story.

Rick

Rob, Just finished the last chapter. I had no idea how you would end this story. Except it was obvious that Mouse would end it with Michael. Took me a few days to read the entire book. Sure I would like a PDF copy. Now that I know what happens I might enjoy reading just the good parts. You can sure tell a story. I really enjoyed it.

Den

What a great story - told from the viewpoints of all three protagonists, allowing the reader to see and feel the emotions of all three. Several times I felt I was reading a story from a female author and then I'd be convinced it must be a male writer, the alternating sides were that well crafted.

I enjoyed the constant advances and retreats they made as they worked their way heroically through the realities of a hideously complex situation.

Alas, I feel that you took the obvious way out at the end, and either simply wanted to finish and be done, or had a loss of concentration and imagination to make it work. Judging from the comments, many readers knew that was exactly how it was going to end, and it simply did. The deaths, all too easy - a bit like "and I found it was all a dream." Such a fine work deserves so much better. Otherwise I'd be giving more than 4's.

It's rare to find a "page turner" on here but this was.

The best

I cant believe i cried after reading a story from this goddamn website. Fuck

I stopped reading this story after book 5. I started hating mouse and mel, and michael was a spineless idiot.

I just read some comments of the next books, and the final part. I'm very glad I stopped reading. Not rating this .

I'm a bit conflicted when it comes to this story. While it is a compelling tale, there are a lot of parts in it that I genuinely disliked. I was scrolling through most of the sex scenes by the time I got to book five because, as often happens with stories of this length, they had gotten repetitive, which isn't to say they were badly written. It's just that you can only read what is essentially the same couple sex scenes over and over before it gets tedious. While the characters were interesting at the start of the story, I really disliked pretty much all of them by the end, and was only continuing to read out of a morbid curiosity. I also think you're far too fond of using the word rape.