All Comments on 'Mr. Perfect Ch. 04'

Just too real. That made me wish I could pound Jakes mom and dad. I am tired of shitty-ass hypocritical rents who mistreat their kids for being gay. It isnt the kids fault, something genetic that they can do nothing about. I know one boy who was hounded to death by his rents, hurt and tortured till he gave up.

parents -_- but.. great chapter and damn the cockblock that stan pulled haha

You have a good story here. My thing would be that for some reason this chapter was much rougher than the others. I think basic spell/gram check in Word should have cleaned up alot. And getting an editor is a must. Even the top, published writers have multiple ones. So, ask for help from fans or try to get one through the site so it doesn't distract the reader. As for the story itself...I think it is great how you have Chris acting in a way that you have to wonder...what is he thinking where jake is concerned? He seems genuine but he's not for him. I would like to see you tell us more about Stan. We want to be sold on him being a good match but we know nothing about him. And we've not seen more than a few words between them so we have no idea about chemistry. I hope you can do that in the next chapter. What assholes his parents are. I think Berne should throw them out of the house after they acted as such!

cannd

Am enjoying the story.But,agree you need to clean up the spelling,ect.

Also,got a bit confused,in this ch.you said Aunt Berne didn't have kids but in ch.1 you wrote she & Ben had 2 then he[Ben]came out.Even if you don't want a editor,maybe a

beta reader would help clean up mistakes,b/c you have a good story,but getting pulled down w/the errors.

All that aside am wondering if Chris is Bi or deep in closet b/c of parents...Hmmm?

Anyways,anxiously await the next chapter..

I have read each chapter and comments and see how you are progressing, This getting to be a very interesting story and I like how you have developed the characters, I would love to know the history between Stan and Chris, as no matter what happens Chris knows but Stan is there to help him out. I hope Jake realises properly who is the friend and who is the lover but don't stop and geez parents who would have them!! Oh we all do but I thought that analogy of curing a disease went out in the dark ages!! Can't wait for more and don't let Stan take Jake to Chris's not after he asked him to be his boyfriend,, I'll stop now lol

could have sworn aunt bernie had two children in chapter one?

Mmm. Wow. Okay.

(What is it with these guys who insist on coming out to the folks at a family dinner – worst time, surely?)

I see another reader says your punctuation etc is worse with this one, but I was thinking it's better. I strongly suspect there's nothing wrong with your punctuation – you're just not checking your own work, so you're not making the necessary corrections. Are you writing this in one go and then posting it without editing it? You have the bones of something promising and a likable main character, so it might be worth slowing down a bit and applying a little "writer's discipline" - edit, and proofread a couple of times before posting.

That said, I'm still reading, so you're doing something right . . .

:-)