by Mythrana
You are able to draw the reader into the characters with ease. Well done.
A very good job of leading me into the story.
Well set up and nice work on building up the characters.
Well done.
please develop your story more and also try to proof read your story more carefully (try using spellcheck programmes) and perhaps see an editor. I look forward to chapter 2. Non erotic stories touch our lives more then those dripping with sex but without any plot.
Maybe if people take the time to really read the story they'll notice the author DID use an editor. As far as spelings were concern, I didn't see any mispellings at all. Looks like people trying to find fault with the author or the story.
Keep up with the good work!
Another great start to another great story. Very interesting. Love the plot characters, everything so far. You could go anywhere with this story. =)
The 4 Chapters of this story are really great but it is unfinished. It stops on what seems like should be the best part of the story. Since there has been no update since 2005 I have a feeling this will be all we ever get. So just a word of warning to the readers, don't get your hopes up for an ending unless you plan on writing it yourself.