My Beautiful Jolene

David Cullen was standing on the sidewalk, just a couple of paces away from the house's front door. His hands were holding the bottle of Merlot with a death-grip, and he started to feel sweat forming under his palms. He wasn't sure for how long he was standing there, but it seemed his eyes picked a favorite spot on the door and just gazed at it aimlessly. He suddenly heard an eerie cry, coming from underneath him, almost sounding like a baby who stubbed his toe. He saw a small kitten, with a red coat and a white face, cuddling at his feet. The first thing to spur on his mind was "Joe Pepper".

"Shoo, kitten. This wine ain't for you."

The kitten started to run around between David's feet, creating the figure eight, over and over again. After a while it got tired and ran away.

David watched the kitten run until he became a blurry dot in the distance, and then shifted his head back to the front door.

He sighed.

He remembered the first time he was there, when he came to pick up Jolene for their first date:

He was sitting at the front sit of his Plymouth, tapping nervously at the steering wheel. He stared anxiously outside the car's window, waiting for Jolene to come out, and every couple of seconds he glanced at the rear view mirror to make sure not a single wisp of hair shifted its position. His throat was dry, making his spit feel like a pinecone every-time he tried to get it down, and his heart was thudding rapidly under his chest.

Keep it cool, David, he thought to himself. If Jolene sees you all sweaty and nervous like this, she'll ask you to stop the car and let her out before we reach the first traffic light.

The front door of the house opened and Jolene Holland stepped out.

Even at night, where there was hardly any glare coming from the street lights; Jolene was able to brighten the entire neighborhood with her presence.

David watched her as she approached his car, and her face became more and more beautiful every time she drew closer. He could see her flowing, long, hair draped over her shoulders, making her entire face shine with its yellowish tones. She wore a stunning, sleeveless, scoop neck dress with a flared skirt that ended just a couple of inches over her knees, exposing her long, beautiful legs. He couldn't believe that such a gorgeous individual was about to go on a date with him.

David met Jolene for the first time at his sister's birthday party, a couple of months earlier. At twenty years old, Jolene was just two years younger than David. They never talked during that party; it was almost unthinkable for him to approach a girl, who undoubtedly was the prettiest girl in the room, and start up a conversation.

Second time they met, a couple of weeks later, he was hanging with his buddies at a jazz-club, and they ran into his sister's gang, Jolene was one of them. This time they talked briefly, and David was a bit surprised when she told him she remembered him from the birthday party, even though he mostly sat quiet with his friends and drank beer, sometimes tapping his shoes whenever a song he liked came up. Apparently, David made somewhat of an impression on her, because a couple of days later, his sister told him that her friend, Jolene, thought he was cute.

She thought you were cute, David, he told himself, as his sweaty hands tapped on the steering wheel. Even if this all thing blows off, no one will be able to take away the fact, that she thought you were cute.

Jolene stepped inside David's Plymouth and gave him an infectious, opened lip, smile, making her teeth glister like pearls.

The smell of panic in the car was quickly overpowered by the strong fragrance escaping from Jolene's long hair. It smelled wonderful; a strong scent that reminded him of the best summers of his childhood.

"Hi," she said smiling.

"Hey," he answered back nervously.

Well, so far so good, David thought to himself.

There was an awkward moment of silence, where no one seemed to think of a proper follow up to "Hi", and they just sat there, smiling at each other, uncomfortably.

David prepared a million topics of conversation in his head, before the date, but to come up with a simple follow up to "Hi" seemed as impossible as climbing the Everest. He could see Jolene's smile widening more and more as each silent second passes, and he actually sensed her giggle, building up in her belly.

When Jolene burst out with a gale of laughter, David thought that he has never heard a sound as mesmerizing as Jolene's laugh; the sound of her voice made his heart melt like a marshmallow over a camp fire.

"Ho, I'm sorry," She said trying to hold back her giggles and wiping soft drops of tears from her eyes.

"No, that's okay," David was also laughing along with her at this point.

Eventually, she cleared her throat and regained her composure.

"So--how are ya'?" She asked. The smile never, broke away from her face.

"I'm great. Cool. How are--you looking good, tonight," David stumbled on his words.

Jolene giggled again with that infectious voice of hers, and thanked him, offering him the same compliment.

"So, your sister tells me you're a Math student. How's that like?"

"Well actually it quite interesting," David said, brushing his hair proudly with his hand. "You learn about all kinds of different qualities that numbers have that you never knew before, I mean thinking of the different fields you--" He then paused, looked at his steering wheel and then drew his stare back to Jolene. "You know what. It's not that interesting, now that I think of it..."

They both laughed together.

"Well, I'm sure it's interesting and I'm sure you're very bright, if you're studying it." She told him, with a gentle expression on her face.

"No...Well..." he mumbled quietly, his faced was washed with bashful-red color. "So, where do you want to go tonight?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Well, I'm not sure," she said," What do you think?"

"We could go, maybe, to the town beach. Get some ice-cream or something..."

"Maybe we could go DANCING!" She suddenly jumped. Her blue eyes lit up like sapphires when she said it.

Ice-cream, you idiot? David groaned in his head. This girl here is dressed like a prom queen and you want take her to DAIRY QUEEN!

But, the idea of dancing wasn't an enchanting one either; David hated dancing with a passion. As far as he could tell, God gave him two left feet and then stomped his foot on both of them.

"Sure. Sounds great," the smile faded from his face a bit, "Where do you want to go?"

"There's a great new place called 'Club River'. We could go there. There's great music there and we could just sit and talk, there's plenty of room there, for that."

Sit and talk, sounded more comforting to David's ears.

"Okay. You know how to get there?"

"I surly do."

"Then let's go."

He turned the key in the ignition slot, the engine roared and the car came alive.

*****

After twenty minutes, they arrived at "Club River".

It was an impressive looking establishment, not particularly large, but still had its charm. The dance floor was filled with young men and pretty women, shaking, swinging and spinning to the sounds of music. At the far end of the room, a long bar stretched from wall to wall, drawing people in with its vivid colors and allure. It was a much better place than the honky-tonk nightclubs he occasionally goes to, David thought.

They paved their way through the crowded dance floor. The people there, the dancing people, who David usually finds annoying and way too centered in themselves and their stupid dancing, were giving them big warm smiles and gesturing them in.

They were smiling at them and they were clearing them the way across the dance floor. No matter how crowded it looked, whenever he and Jolene walked to a certain spot, people just parted to the sides and let them through. He felt like he was Moses crossing the Red Sea and the waters suddenly divided before him. He also noticed that everyone was looking at him, as if he was a movie star arriving to his big premiere.

Wait...they're not looking at me, he realized, they're looking at her. And why shouldn't they? She is possibly the prettiest girl in the room. Hell, she's probably the prettiest girl in most rooms.

Jolene had an ear to ear smile from the moment they entered; as soon as the music trickled into her ear, she began to sway her body to the rhythm. It seemed to David that she knew almost every other person in the room, since she socialized with most of them. There were a lot of "Hey, looking good, Jolene", and "Great to see you, Jolene" and "I'm so happy to run into you here, Jolene".

David didn't know anyone.

"Quite popular," David shouted in her hear, trying to overcome the loud music.

"Ho, no. it's just a couple of people I know. Isn't this place great?"

"Yes. It's great," He smiled back at her.

At that point, Jolene was already swaying her head and shaking her pelvis to the music. And David was standing there, in the heart of all the dancing, like a single blond hair on the fur a black rabbit. He didn't feel like he belonged there.

"So, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to join me?" she asked smiling.

David looked down at his feet, his black derby shoes almost looked like they were giving him a dumb smile. He knew that there was no way he was going to be dancing, and the uneasy feeling of regret formed a knot in his stomach.

"I think I'll go order a beer," he paused for a second, and then continued "Actually I'm not much of a dancer...maybe I'll just sit there for a while."

Jolene' smile faded and the feeling of disappointment washed her face.

"Ho no, David, I didn't know. We can go somewhere else if--"

"No, no. I'll be fine, really. I know you want to dance, so I'll just go have a small drink, and I'll promise I'll join you right after I finish my drink"

Jolene's lips tighten and she gave David a look of uncertainty.

"Well, if you say so," she smiled back at him and rubbed his shoulder with her hand, and David could feel the warmth radiating from her fingers to his body.

David walked towards the bar with his head stooped, bumping with people at the shoulders and receiving annoyed stares. He wasn't a movie star no more.

For the following twenty minutes (seemed like a hell lot longer to him), he sat on one of the bar stools, and slowly sipped his drink. He was mesmerized by Jolene's dancing; she moved around the dance floor with the gracefulness of a butterfly at spring time. He wished he could have joined her, but he knew that making an ass of himself on the first date, won't be helping either.

First date, he thought. Might as well call it: last date. Jolene is having the time of her life there without me. She's laughing with her friends, and dancing with them.

She was also dancing around some other men, who looked like a pack of hungry wolves, to David. Probably they're all oblivion to the fact that she's even on a date. He couldn't blame them.

He knew it would be his last date with her, and it pained him deeply in the heart and made knots in his stomach. He was surprised of how grave his feelings for her were, even though he hardly knew her. Sure, she's a beautiful person, he thought, stunning in-fact, but it wasn't just that. No, there was something else about her, some hidden layer under her silky skin and sapphire eyes; there was some kind of genuine gentleness about her that made him feel...what's the word he was looking for?

Happy? Yes, happy, that's the one. She made him feel happy.

From time to time Jolene glanced at David and waved him in, gesturing him to join her. In reply, he would smile from his bar stool and hold his beer bottle in the air, as if he was saying: just few more sips and I'm there...

The beer, which he usually enjoys, tasted like bile to him. He watched as guys approached Jolene, danced around her a bit, and pleasantly chitchatted with her. He wondered with an almost comical feeling of failure, if Jolene would come up to him in a few minutes and tell him that she was sorry, but she met someone else and that she'd be leaving with him. He chuckled miserably into his beer bottle.

I guess there's nothing I can do, he thought. Most of these people have easier time socializing than I do, simply because they do it more often. I, on the other hand, spent the last three nights in my room trying to prove the Cantor-Bernstein theorem. Still not sure if I got it...

Still, for someone who hardly goes on any dates- this felt greatly like a missed opportunity.

"Hey there, what's up?"

David raised his head from his beer bottle and saw the young fellow sitting at the stool beside him, looking at him with a grin on his face. David took a couple of seconds to figure out he was talking to him.

"Me? I'm fine," he said hesitantly, trying to figure out if he knows this guy from anywhere, he didn't. "How are you?"

"Fine! Fine!" the guy yelled back, as the music suddenly got louder.

The guy's horn-rimmed glasses slid down his nose and he pushed them back up with his index finger before he continued talking:

"I saw the girl you came in with. Is it your sister or your girlfriend?"

David paused for a second, feeling of annoyance suddenly crept from his jaw to his temples.

"It's a...well...neither. It's our first date, actually."

The guy's grin suddenly disappeared from his face, like he heard some terrible news, then the grin pooped back up.

"Well, you better pay more attention to your girl, because I see from right here there's about a million guys out there flocking around her. Don't want it to be your first and last date, now would ya'?" he slapped David on the back and laughed.

David smiled and nodded quietly. In his head he wondered how nice would it be to shove his beer bottle down the guy's throat.

After a couple of minutes, David noticed Jolene was approaching him, and he tried to guess the name of the dude she probably met on the dance floor. It's got to be either a Tom or a Henry, he thought. Feels more like a Tom.

"David, I want us to go."

"Ho. Okay."

So, she didn't meet anyone, he thought (even though, he didn't actually believe she would do such a thing to him). But, she was ready to go home, and David knew he totally missed his chance during this date, if you can even call it a date...

He paid his bill to the bartender and then noticed the guy with the horn-rimmed glasses looking at him with an expression of jealousy. David figured that this guy didn't expect for Jolene to return home with him after all, and he gave the guy a big smile of satisfaction as they went out. Even though, he knew there wasn't really much to smile about.

They were outside, walking towards David's car. You could hear the sounds of drunken people, cursing, and laughing as they exited the club. You could see young couples in their cars, making out. There was a couple there, that couldn't even wait to go inside the car, so they just stood there, leaning against the driver's door and kissing passionately. David was walking besides Jolene with one hand in his pocket and the other twirling his keychain around its finger. That uneasy feeling in his belly crept up on him again.

"David, why didn't you tell me you don't like dance clubs?"

"I don't know..." he said with a low voice, not sure if she even heard him, "I guess I don't hate the clubs. It's just the dancing part I'm not a fan of."

He saw the expression of sadness washing over her angelic face, and it immediately made his heart freeze with pain.

He smiled at her comfortingly, "really it's okay. It was a great a place, great music." He looked at his wrist watch, "listen, its ten-thirty, you probably want get home--"

"Home?" she jumped at him. David eyes widened at her.

"But didn't you promise to get me an ice-cream?" she looked at him with child-like eyes. "You know what, scratch that, the ice-cream is my treat. What flavor do you like? You look like a vanilla type of a guy, right, maybe some chocolate syrup. I think I'll get myself strawberry flavored, maybe lemon flavored, not sure, ho look at me rambling on an on, so are we going to get some ice-cream or what?"

David brushed his hand over his hair, trying to take it all in.

"Well...yeah. I guess..."

"Great" Jolene said smiling and they both got inside the Plymouth. David felt a much more genuine smile forming at his lips this time. He looked at Jolene and she also had that same genuine expression of happiness on her face. Her eyes twinkled even in the darkness, and her soft pink lips seemed to glitter with innocence. They smiled at the world in the same manner the moon smiles at the world at night, with peacefulness and uninterrupted serenity.

David wondered how glorious would it be to kiss those lips.

*****

"Your ice cream is melting."

"What?"

"Your ice-cream," Jolene pointed at his hand, smiling, "it's melting."

David looked at the back of his hand, and saw a white drool of vanilla trickling down from the ice-cream cone.

"Oh Jesus," he wiped his hand with a napkin. His cheeks were blushing like an eight year old kid.

Jolene giggled at him with her heart melting laughter.

They spent the last half an hour, sitting on a bench at the town beach, near the boardwalk, exchanging stories, talking about the past and the future, and life aspirations. David told her he was thinking of becoming a teacher, after he gets his degree, and she told she thought it was a great idea. Jolene talked to him about herself and her family; she told him how her mother has been ill for the last couple of months and she has been helping with her flower shop- working there with her sisters for most of the day. She told him how she wants to study next year, and she thought about Psychology as something that really interests her.

She told him how she wants to study something meaningful and fun, and try to stir away as far as possible from such amazingly boring subjects like Science or Math. When David heard that he suddenly sat stiff on the bench and his face turned pallid. When he looked at Jolene, she stared at him with a dead emptiness in her eyes--then suddenly she started to giggle heartily and brushed her hands over his belly, even gave him light hug, and told him she was messing with him. At that point David's color returned to his face and he laughed along with her. When he felt her body tremble with laughter against his body, David realized, he was falling in love with her.

It was a beautiful summer night with light summer breeze. The ocean looked static and its color was dark like ink. There was a constant moving of people, who were hanging there with their families, their friends, their dates.

David looked at Jolene's eyes, and the moon reflected off her pupils almost to its entirety. She turned her face towards him and she looked at him as well. Now David could see his own image reflected off her pupils, and he could hardly recognize himself there- he looked different. More mature. More confident.

"I'm glad we came here," She told him, her voice jingled wonderfully in his ears.

"Yes, me too. I..." his voice stopped abruptly as if he it was a car and someone was hitting on the brakes pedal with full force. He knew what he wanted to say but it was hard getting it out of his mouth.

"What?" she asked him softly, looking at him with intensity in her eyes.

"You look very beautiful," he said, confident that it was indeed what he wanted to tell her, what his heart was aching to release. "That's what I wanted to say. You look very beautiful"

They stared at each other silently, their bodies shifted closer together, almost in a magical way. David looked at those lips of hers again and wondered how they feel, and Jolene was also studying his face; looking at his mouth and his eyes back and forth. David imagined he could actually taste her lips, he could feel her warmness, closer and closer. But it wasn't just his imagination; Jolene's face was suddenly very close to his own, so close he could touch--