My Daughter, My Life

"Later Honey, we'll talk about it later. Right now you need to get some rest. Everything will be okay. I'm here for you."

She gave me a slight smile and dozed back off to sleep. I turned to my sister. "Thanks, Kate, thank you for taking care of Amy. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I'll always be here for you and Amy. She loves you so much, but now we have a problem."

"What problem, Kate?" I asked.

"Child Protective Services was here. They aren't sure what to do with Amy."

"What do you mean, what to do with Amy?"

"The woman said that since you were her step-father you aren't her guardian. She said something about contacting her biological father to see what he has to say."

"He isn't going to say shit, Kate."

"What do you mean? Did you talk to him?"

"He was the man fucking Kara and was killed."

"Oh, my God, what about poor Amy?"

"She's coming home with me. She's my daughter. She isn't going to a bunch of strangers."

I got on my cell phone and called Child Protective Services. The woman was still at the hospital and would be up to see me. About a half hour later a woman showed up.

"I'm Cheryl Baker, from Child Protective Services. I received a call that you needed to see me."

"Yes, it's about my daughter Amy."

"Yes, we're looking for her biological father," she replied. "Do you happen to know where he is?"

"A matter of fact I do. He was released from prison last week and is now on a slab down at the morgue. He was killed along with my wife, Amy's mother. Amy's my daughter and she's coming home with me."

"This is highly irregular..."

"I don't care how irregular it is. Amy might not be my flesh and blood but she is my daughter and she is coming home with me. No stranger is getting her."

"Mr. Collins, I can't let a young girl go with a male who is not a relative. Surely you understand. If you had a female co-guardian it would probably be ok."

"You were ready to send her home with a man that beat her as a child and just got out of prison but you couldn't possible let her go home with her father for the last eight years. How stupid are you?" I was really getting pissed at this woman. Luckily for me Kate was there.

Kate interjected, "Excuse me, Mrs. Baker. Brad - Mr. Collins here - is my brother. He's a bit distraught at the moment but did you say that if a female signed as a co-guardian for Amy that she could go home with us?"

"Yes, of course the young lady has to agree to go with you."

Right then Amy woke up again. "'What's the matter, Aunt Kate. Where's daddy?"

"He stepped out in the lobby for a minute, Amy. Everything is okay. Your dad and I have to sign some legal papers so you can go home with us when you get released from the hospital."

"Amy, I'm Cheryl Baker from Child Services. I'm looking after your interests here. Do you have a problem living with Mr. Collins and Kate Miller?"

"Of course not, that's my dad and aunt. They're the two nicest people on this earth. I won't let you take me away from them," screamed an irate Amy. "Where's my dad?"

I walked back into the room. "I'm right here, Sweetheart. No one's taking you anywhere. You'll be going back to our house. Don't worry, daddy's here now."

Kate looked at the woman, "Where's these papers to sign? Let's get this over with, I know you're just doing your job but even considering taking a girl away from her father is horrible to say the least. You can't throw everyone in the same barrel. It seems to me that it should be a case by case process."

Mrs. Baker spoke. "I'm sorry for the way I acted. You are right, I didn't know enough about the case. Usually when a death occurs, the child goes to the living parent. I had no idea he was just released from prison, let alone killed."

"The man that was killed with my mom was my biological dad? I didn't know; no one told me," said Amy.

"Oh, my God!" said Mrs. Baker. "I thought she knew."

"Honey, I'm so sorry. You've been through so much," I replied.

"It' alright, Daddy; the only memory I have of him is him beating me. You're my Daddy. The only daddy I'll ever remember."

"I'm so sorry," spoke Mrs. Baker. "I had no idea the child didn't know."

"There are a lot of things you didn't seem to know about our family. Am I considered Amy's legal guardian now?"

"Yes, but it has to go though a judge although I don't see any problems. I'll make sure the judge understands the case. Again, I apologize for my lack of judgment," replied Mrs. Baker.

After Mrs. Baker left my sister Kate said, "What kind of a legal system do we have that would take Amy from you and give her to a stranger. I couldn't believe that woman."

"It's okay, Aunt Kate; nobody is going to take me away from my dad. I know he wouldn't let it happen. Thank you for being here for me and dad. You're the best aunt anyone could have."

"I love you too, Amy, but you better try and get some more rest. I have to leave now, but if you need me just call. I'm only a phone call away."

I sat in the chair while my daughter slept. Tomorrow was going to be another bad day - more questioning and decisions to be made. It was starting to get late; I told the nurse that I would be sleeping in this chair right next to my daughter.

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I woke up when the morning staff was making their rounds. I looked over and saw Amy smiling at me. "Feeling better, Honey?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess as well as can be expected. It's still hard to believe, Dad. Mom's gone." She had tears in her eyes. I got up and gave my girl a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

The nurse came in to run her morning tests, so I went down to the cafeteria and got some coffee. While I was there I called the garage and told the guys I wouldn't be in. They asked about Amy and I told them she was doing fine. I mentioned that the detective would be around to see them and to make sure they told the truth. I didn't do anything wrong, so I didn't have any reason to lie.

"He was here yesterday boss. We explained to him that you were here the full day till you got the call from Amy. He even contacted the pizza kid who delivered our pizza yesterday. Good thing you bought us lunch," he laughed. "Brad, you just take care of Amy and your affairs. We'll take care of the business."

"Thanks, Bill, and thank Russ for me too. I really appreciate it. Also thank Sally for me."

"Will do, Boss. You just make sure your daughter is okay."

My phone rang and it was Kate. She said she contacted a cleaning outfit and they would clean up the room where Kara was killed. I told her to tell them to get rid of the bed and mattresses and also any throw rugs that had blood on them. I didn't want Amy to see any stains. She said they would be done by late afternoon. I was expecting to take Amy home that night.

I went back to Amy's room and she was looking pretty good. She was eating some breakfast. The doctor told her he would release her today. He gave her a prescription for a light sedative in case she had trouble sleeping. About that time Detective Hurley showed up.

"Mr. Collins, may I see you out in the lobby for a few minutes." He was telling me, not asking me. "So far your alibis hold up. We checked a few names on your list of possible suspects and most denied knowing your wife on a personal level until I showed them photos. We have been talking to the most recent ones on the list first. Almost all had alibis for the time frame we are talking about here.

"What we haven't figured out is how Mr. Lake got to your house. Either he drove there and the killer took his vehicle or your wife picked him up but we have no idea where from. We've checked the airport and train station. Also a few of the local motels, to see if he was checked in. The only photo we had to show was his mug shot. Not really the best picture."

"I wish I could help you detective but I don't have a clue. It was a complete surprise to me also. I can't say that I'm not glad she's gone but not this way. There was no reason for someone to kill her. Have you thought that it might be a revenge of Mr. Lake instead of Kara?"

"We're checking all possible suspects. There are still quite a few names left on your list. I'm going to talk to your daughter now. Has she said anything more to you?"

"No, I've just been here to support her. She's been through a lot. Can I be there while you question her?"

"I guess so, but you have to keep quiet. If you start getting involved, I'll have to ask you to leave the room."

We walked back in and I told Amy that the detective needed to ask her some questions about yesterday. "Are you up to it, Honey?"

"I'm a bit shaken still but I'm fine. What do you need to know, sir?" asked Amy.

"I'm Detective Hurley and I need to know about your whole day yesterday."

Amy looked over at me. "It's okay, Amy, just tell the truth..."

"Please, Mr. Collins, don't interrupt."

Amy started explaining her day. "Well, Sir, I was up and eating breakfast about seven. Somewhere around eight I got on my bike and rode it to soccer practice."

"Where was your mom at the time?"

"She was getting dressed. Usually she took me to practice but she said she had an appointment and I would have to ride my bike."

"Did she say where the appointment was?"

"No, Sir, she had them quite often so I never asked. I just got on my bike and rode to practice like I do every Saturday. It takes me between twenty minutes to a half hour to ride the three miles."

"What time did you leave practice?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't wear a watch. You can check with the coach but I would have to figure somewhere around eleven-thirty."

"Did you ride straight home?"

"Yes, I did."

"Were you alone or did someone else ride along with you?"

"I was by myself; my friends don't live out this way."

"Okay, Amy, this is going to be hard but what happened when you arrived home."

Amy had tears in her eyes. "I got off my bike in the front yard and went to go in the front door, but it was locked."

"Is it usually locked when you come home?"

"No, Sir, it's almost always unlocked."

"Did anything seem strange to you beside the door being locked?"

"Yeah, come to think of it. Mom's car was in the driveway instead of in the garage and the garage door was closed. Usually when she comes back from somewhere the garage door is open."

"What did you do next, Amy?"

"I went to the back door where we usually have a key in the flower pot, but the door was wide open. I kind of yelled in, 'Mom, Mom, are you home?' I didn't hear an answer so I walked into the kitchen. It just felt eerie, like something was wrong. I went down the hall and mom's bedroom door was open."

"Is it usually open when you come home?"

"Yes, sir, but something didn't seem right. I walked to the bedroom and I saw Mom's back covered with blood. I screamed out and fell back against the doorjamb. I just kept screaming when I saw another person under mom. I ran to the kitchen and called Dad. He told me to go outside and he would be here soon. I ran to the front door and unlocked it and ran out and sat on the porch. The next thing I knew, the police were here and asked me something but I have no idea what he said. Then I saw daddy and ran to him."

"Amy, how did you know it was your mother?"

"I didn't know. I just figured it was her since it was a woman and it was Mom's bedroom."

"Did you know the man, Amy?"

"To be honest, at the time I didn't see nothing but a bloody head. It scared me bad. The Child Protection lady said it was my biological dad. I don't remember him and of course with all the blood, I didn't know him."

"Amy, does your dad own any guns?"

"You mean this dad?" she pointed to me. "Yes, sir, he collects them."

"How many does he have?"

"I don't know sir, ask him, he's sitting right there." I had to laugh; she was just being honest.

"Where does he keep his guns?"

"In the gun cabinet in the basement."

"Do you know where he keeps the key to the cabinet?"

"No, sir, only him and Mom knew."

"Does he have any guns that he doesn't keep in the cabinet?"

"Yes, sir, two of them." The detective looked surprised and so did I.

"Where does he keep them, Amy?"

"He keeps a pistol in his bedside table for protection. He told me and Mom it was there."

"Where does he keep the other gun, Amy?"

"In my closet. It's my BB gun and he said I could keep it there." I had to smile again. The detective was about lost for words.

"Any other guns that you know of, Amy?"

"No sir, that's about it. I hope you find who killed my mom and punish them. I loved my mom," replied Amy as she started crying.

I went to her and held her. "I'm sorry, Daddy; I'm trying to be a brave girl."

"It's alright, Honey, everyone has a right to cry. Just let it all out."

She cried for about a minute and when she stopped the detective said, "Amy, is there anything at all that you might have missed? A car pulling away, someone walking down the road, even tire tracks, anything at all?"

"I'm sorry, detective; I told you everything I could remember. I wish I knew more but I don't."

"You did fine, Amy. You've been a big help. You take care of yourself and if you remember anything else no matter how small, please give me a call."

I told Amy that I would be back in a few minutes. I walked the detective to the elevator.

"Mr. Collins, you're not out of the woods yet so please don't leave the county without my knowledge, and take care of your little girl. I have a daughter her age and I hope my daughter would be as respectful as yours."

"I understand, Detective, and thank you for the compliment. She is a great young lady."

I walked back into Amy's room and we talked a little bit about what she saw and her going into shock. "Dad, promise me you'll never leave me. You're all I've got."

"Honey, someday you will be dating and find a boyfriend, and eventually get married. That day will be a sad and yet happy one for me. I'll know my little girl has grown up but at the same time I'll miss her so much." I knew my eyes were watering up just thinking about her leaving me some day."

"You'll always be in my heart, daddy. We'll always be together."

I just smiled; after all she was just a fourteen-year-old girl.

We left the hospital and she seemed to be doing pretty good. The doctor said all her vital signs were fine and, of course, he gave us a prescription for a sedative if she needed it. When we went back to the house she was a bit nervous.

"It's okay, Honey,. I had a cleaning crew come in and clean your mom's room. If you like you can wait on the porch till I check it out."

I walked in and the whole house was clean. Kara's room was changed around. Kate had the cleaning people move my bed and dressers into Kara's room. It gave it a whole different appearance. I looked behind me and Amy came in. When she looked in the room she smiled. She walked in and jumped on my bed.

"Where's mom's stuff, Dad?"

"It's all been put in the guest room. The mattresses and bedding were thrown out. One day when you feel better you and I will have to go through your mom's stuff and see what you want to keep and what we will give away. I'm going to leave it up to you but I'll be here to help you."

Kate stopped by to make sure everything was all right. Other than Amy she was the only woman I cared for. I know Amy liked her also.

The next day I drove Amy to school. I wanted to make sure she was okay. A couple of her girlfriends came up and gave her a hug. She turned to me and said, "I'll be alright, Dad. I'll ride the bus to the garage after school."

I left and went to the garage. Bill and Bob were there taking care of business. The next few days were spent getting back to normal. The detective stopped by and told me he kept running into dead ends.

"Mr. Collins, I'm almost sure you didn't kill your wife because all your alibis check out. I haven't dismissed the idea that you could have hired it done. We still haven't located the gun either."

"Detective, I assure you I had nothing to do with my wife's murder."

"Mr. Collins, I talked to your P.I. and he told me that you said if you saw Mr. Lake that you would kill him if he touched your daughter."

"I did say that under duress but I never saw him, and neither did Amy."

"Your P.I. told me that also. He had evidence that Mr. Lake was coming to town but he wasn't sure when or how. I have something else to take up with you."

"What is it?"

"Your wife and Mr. Lake both had marijuana in their system. Did you know your wife smoked pot?"

"No, I wasn't aware of it. She didn't even smoke cigarettes."

"We also ran tests on her vehicle and Mr. Lake's fingerprints were in it, along with a small bag of pot and cigarette papers. We figured she picked him up somewhere and brought him to the house. Any ideas where she might have met him?"

"None whatsoever," I told the detective. "I spent the whole morning at work. Maybe it's good that I didn't know. If I would have known what you're telling me now, I might have gone off the deep end."

"Another thing, Mr. Collins. The bodies are ready to be released for burial. What do you want us to do with them? It is your wife after all, and your daughter's legal parents."

"Give me a day to think about it. Right now you wouldn't want to hear my answer; that I can assure you."

Amy was dropped off at the garage after school. The guys gave her a hug and told her how sorry they were about her loss. She handled it pretty good. She said the majority of people at school talked nice to her but a few were just mean. She told me she knocked one guy down after he insulted her mom.

I had taught her to protect herself. She was a beautiful girl but also was a tomboy. She was one of the most well-liked kids in her school. When we got home I told her we had to discuss burial arrangements.

"What do you think, Dad? Mom did have a lot of friends and they would probably like to pay their last respects."

"We can have a service for her. I would prefer cremation instead of burial, if it's alright with you, Sweetheart."

"Sure, Dad, that would be fine. What about Kurt, Daddy? I didn't like him and I know you didn't either but he was my father at one time."

"The detective said no one in West Virginia wants to claim the body. You're the next of kin. Since you're a minor they can't force you to pay for his last expenses. He only had a couple of hundred dollars on him according to the detective."

"Daddy, I know it's got to be hard for you but can we have him cremated too? We don't need a service for him. We'll just go to the crematorium and make arrangements. It's just the right thing to do."

Damn, I would like to just throw his lifeless body over a cliff. He was the sperm donor of my little girl. I guess I would have to do what is right by her. Believe me, it wasn't easy to pay last expenses for a slime ball like him. At least the detective gave us the few hundred dollars toward the funeral and we got a whole two hundred fifty five dollars from Social Security.

Kara at least had insurance. She had a small burial policy of ten grand and she had a large policy at work. Her death was considered an accidental death so it paid double. We decided to put the whole policy in a college account for Amy. I used the small policy for Kara's last expenses, and it was enough to pay for her ex's cremation. At least no money came out of my pocket.

After the funeral I asked the detective if I could take Amy on a short trip for a couple of days. She was a bit downtrodden, which could be expected. I wanted to take her to Sea World and cheer her up a little. He gave us the okay since he had no evidence of foul play on my part.

Amy and I had a great time. It gave us a couple of days to put our problems behind us and just enjoy ourselves. It was the first time Amy was ever on an airplane. She really liked it. While we were at Sea World we also went to see a play. Amy told me she was going to be an actress.