All Comments on 'My Girlfriends Sister and I'

I loved how you guys wrote from both points of view. Made me understand the scenario better. i truly am turned on right now,thanks to you guys .PLease continue the story

You do not write with the skill of a Ukranian grammar school student. You know nothing of English grammar and nothing about the construction of sentences. Why don't you study for several years and try again. If you dare to.

i am sorry for rude comments. yes, people should be critical but there is a line.

personally, your story is ok but could be better. I think your story lacked depth (for me I just love a story that is very character driven with details. I feel you are striving for this and I applaud you for that). I do see promise and I think if you keep at writing you will become a very good author.

For a first time writer you did pretty good though there are a few things that could be improved

That was really good!

Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!!:)

please continue with your story. it does have promise.

Since this is your first story, I'm going to keep the Ennglish student in me on a short leash. It's a classic tale of discovering that the one you thought you wanted to be with was in fact the wrong one. Those stories never get old. Sometimes it takes a none-too-subtle wake-up call for a person to realize that what they wanted was in front of them all the time but they just didn't see it.

Your plot is fairly well-developed; consider adding a subplot as a means of enforcing the new relationship. For example, how does the girlfriend feel about losing Desari to Jessica? Take your time and think it over. You'll be surprised at what you can come up with.

that was Hot!!! you have to make the next chapter fast because I can't wait any longer..thanks for sharing your work..

There are good bones to the story, but I would really encourage you to use an editor to help with punctuation. It will help your writing be more powerful and enjoyable to read.

this was excellent keep writing!

ignore the shit comments - i get plenty of those, too.

if someone can't offer something constructive, my advice is just to delete the comment and focus on the others. Use praise as a motivation, and constructive criticism as a way of improving.

For me, I just love your writing. You know why? Because you paint great pictures with your words, and that need inside you comes through with every paragraph.

keep going, babygirl :)