All Comments on 'My Own Mother'

The sex descriptions were great, but the seduction was too quick. If there was more build up, from the mom gradually changing, dressing hotter, starting to check out her son more, etc., and then 2 or 3 days later BOOM, it has greater effect. Keep it going though!!

Did you originally write this with the protagonist as a minor? Too many people write a story with underage characters, then realize to get the story past the rules of posting, increase their age without changing anything else. I'd guess you started out with mom at 33 and the son a few years younger than 18. First timer's mistake.

The story was rushed, lots of spelling mistakes, and flimsy plot. Again, first timer's mistakes. You wanted honest criticism, there it is.

I agree with the anon commenter that the seduction needed to go at a slower pace. You also needed to be way more specific in regards to your hypnotic instructions. By making her crave just any cock when she wants a cigarette, you pretty much turned her into the "town pump". If she was a pack a day smoker like you said at the end, then she's going to be need to be fucked 20 times a day. Is the son prepared to get it up 20 times a day? If not, then she's going to go out and fuck the first guy she sees be it the local priest or the 80 year old bagger at the supermarket. Can contracting std's be far behind? Way to ruin her life for a few cheap thrills asshole!

If your mother had nice "D" size tits, why would she need a padded bra???

you need to change the hypnosis where she will not want any other cock except yours only to at least 2 times a day another chapter is needed for this purpose

hurry and write the next chapter, where you make her totally yours

If she was Hypnotized she couldn't consent so that makes it rape.

I agree with the others if she is to crave cock then whose? anyones?

She's 33 and he's 18 she would have had to have him at 14, that's not too unusual, I have a friend that had her first at 14, girl down the street just had a baby at 16.

Now that you had sex with her and she is aware of it she is tramatized and may hurt herself, is that what you wanted?

Insest with consent is one thing and I have no problem with it but you have hurt her and can never take it back.

I agree with the holes in the hypnotic suggestion. As for it being non consent. There is whole genre of fantasy of mind control so it is better to let that agreement go . Should have been tipped of from the description. Intentional or not I like that the main charter Joseph Smith is the same as the founder of the Mormon church.

There are some real big holes in your story that are actually distracting. The whole waving the medallion saying,''you are getting sleepy'' is so hollywood. And an 18yr old doesn't learn hypnosis in a couple of weeks. He'd have had to have a test session to determine what kind of subject she is. Some are easily good subjects and some fight it. Some remember everything happening while under, so he would have had to be more careful about his wording. If she realized what he'd done she would hate him. Finally, he would have needed to insert a trip phrase, trigger,password, whatever you choose to call it so he could put her under again quickly. What if her assigned behaviour became obvious in public or she spiralled out of control? And did he not implant an idea that would help relax her feelings of the taboo nature of incest? With her inhibitions still in place she would be more likely to ignore her son and go out 'trolling' for a man for the night. Needs work. Good story, for sure, but a little researchwould help the bbelievability and easy to do with the internet. When I was a kid I had to travel to several libraries to find the books that I needed. Simpler now, of course. And don't try to be so quick to end your story. Build your characters. Who are they and what are their personalities? What does he want? Does he really love his mom as a man, or does he just want her cunt a few times before going away. If thats the case, he is going to college and leaving his mom with a bad problem. See, even with fantasy there has to be a grain of reality for your readers to really get into it. Keep writing, but keep working on your writing also.

Ok let's try and realize people that this is a story about a man hypnotizing his mom tohave sex...we can excuse a bit of inaccuracies regarding hypnotism and potential rape of a fictional character. what I would like to suggest is the development of the sex scene...don't rush it. She went from watching a movie to "ohh please Fuck me" in no time flat. That gives the reader only a few sentences to get hard/wet and enjoy themselves along with the characters. Try building the suspense so that the mother slowly builds to lust filled abandonment... maybe instead of leaving the couch and falling over she actually makes it to her room. Heck you could have left it alone for the night and made things really difficult for her in the morning. What I'm saying is don't just rush to sex, the concept of using hypnotism and slowly getting horny right s great but it felt a little rushed.

Please do not bother about the "analyzing literary critics".

Its a good mother/son story.

Let the son take her in the ass and everything else that he can think of.

Then take it to its inevitable conclusion and make her beg the son to make her pregnant!

Asinine jumble of words put together haphazardly with the expected result.

This story was.... well, it didn't suck. I just want to point out if your Mom is 34 and you're 18, she had you at 16 years old. Maybe next time don't try so hard to make her young.

It's a good story but you should read a book on hypnosis, your is well written but it's not true about hypnosis. thanks

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damn son way to go i feel the same way about my mom i have to try it!

Pretty sure you just turned your mom into a cock addicted slut that will jump the first random joe she can find whenever she has a craving for a smoke. What's going to happen when she has a craving at work? And when MC goes to college?

If you're going to write a hypnosis story, you kind of need to consider the effects of issued commands beyond "MC gets his dicky wet."