My Secret Love Ch. 06

We both adjusted our bodies closer and into each other in silence as not to ruin this moment between us, and then we watched the rest of the movie cuddled in each other's arms. I soon found sleep upon me as we both drifted off to sleep on the couch.

I don't know how much time had gone by, but I felt Lauri move a little.

"Samantha, Samantha." I heard Lauri whisper in my ear. "Come on sweetie I think we should go up stairs."

"Hmmm...what did you say Lauri?" I said groggily.

"Samantha," Lauri said softly into my ears. "It's almost 1am, we both must of fallen asleep down here. How bout we head up, since I need to be up early for work. Here, let me help you up."

Lauri got up and help pulled me up from the couch. I grabbed my crutch and we both slowly made our way up the stairs half asleep. We both climbed into bed in silence, and made our way into each other's arms as we both fell off to sleep.

Next thing I remember was that damn alarm going off at 5am again. "Damn that alarm!" I yelled out as I put the pillow over my head to muffle out the sound.

I heard Lauri laugh in the background as I said that.

"You know Lauri, why do you have to get up so damn early for work when clinic doesn't even start till 9am?"

"Ah...but your forgetting Samantha I'm a teacher, we have other jobs as well to do, we have to be there way before the students do to get everything ready and so much more."

"Yeah, I know Lauri. I'm just being a pill here. As you can tell I'm definitely not a morning person." I said light heartedly. "That's alright Samantha, if I didn't have to be up so early for work I would be sleeping in as well with you." She said smiling.

"How are you feeling Lauri, are you tired since we didn't come up till late last night."

"No, actually I feel okay. Here why don't you sleep in and I'll leave a hot fresh pot of coffee on for you when you come on down later. I'll set the timer on it. Well I better go get moving here and finish getting ready. You have a nice morning Samantha and I'll see you at lunch...okay?" Lauri leaned over the bed and quickly kissed me on the cheek.

"Okay, Lauri. I'll see you later. Have a good day." I heard Lauri walk out of the room as I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.

After a few hours I was up and getting ready. I made my way down the stairs and had a cup of coffee. I wasn't sure when I would tell Lauri I was leaving, and that I had the doctor's appointment on monday. I was pretty much able to take care of myself now, so I knew it was time for me to move out, but I was afraid to leave. I would miss her greatly. I knew that once I would tell her about my doctors appointment on monday that I would have to soon leave cause there would be no more excuses for me to stay on any longer.

It saddened me that I would have to go. Maybe it would be best for me to tell her on monday, that way I won't ruin the time we have now together. It had been so nice cuddling with her the night before, and I just wanted a little more time with her.

Lunch had come and gone. Lauri had come home and we ate some lunch and talked general things about the day. I cooked dinner for her all week. The week went pretty smoothly. Our normal routine of her coming home for lunch, and after supper we would both retire to the couch and watch a movie cuddled into each other. A couple of times we even played a hand or two at cards, but this time the truth and dare game was definitely left out. This time I made sure both our clothes stayed on.

The week had gone by so quickly and we had grown close again and enjoying each other's company and time spent together. She had touched my heart in a way that no one had done before. She truly had become a very close and dear friend to me, and it saddened me that we couldn't have more than that. I never let it go beyond cuddling with her and I, even though at times I felt Lauri wanted to kiss me and she would lean into me to kiss me but I would pull away or turn my face from her.

She never got upset or asked me why, and with me leaving on the monday I just didn't want to go through the emotional hurt of loving her and then having to leave so I pushed her away and held my emotional walls up, and would only allow it to go no further than the cuddling. I wanted more with her, but I knew it would never be, so I had to keep my own feelings in check. I knew she was still in love with her husband and was confused with this situation with her and I, and her feelings for me, so I couldn't let myself get on that roller coaster again with her, though it was such a struggle for me every day to maintain that front of pushing her away and not wanting her. I wanted to reach out to her and to love her, but I just knew I couldn't.

We spent a wonderful weekend together, playing around with each other, joking, and just really enjoying ourselves. Lauri cooked some meals, and I cooked my homemade chilli for her over the weekend. We ordered take out as well,and just enjoyed each other's company over the weekend. But the ominous monday was soon approaching and my nerves started to act up.

Sunday evening found us both on the couch again relaxing with each other, but tonight I was quiet in my thoughts about how tomorrow would go.

"Samantha, your awlfully quiet over there. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Lauri. I was just thinking how great of a week it has been with you, and I'm just going to miss that I guess when I leave, so I guess that is on my mind a bit."

"Oh, I see." Lauri said quietly. "She still wants to leave," Lauri thought to herself saddly. Well I guess I haven't given her any indication that I want her here longer but how can I tell her that I want more with her. I guess I don't blame her for pulling away the past few times when I have tried to get close to her, considering what I did to her the last time. She's probably scared and confused about how I will react again, and then of course my husband. Damn, I wish I knew myself how I could straighten all of this out, but I do know onething, is that I love her and don't want to lose her. I should tell her this, but after what happened the last time, I'm sure she would be skeptical of my feelings for her, and I don't blame her for feeling that way. I just don't know what to say to her." Lauri sat there in her thoughts as well.

We both sat on the couch in silence in our own thoughts. I didn't know how to tell her about tomorrow so I will tell her then. I just want to enjoy this last night with her. I snapped out of my thoughts and leaned into Lauri a little more. She looked down at me and gave me a soft smile and pulled me into her more wrapping her arms around me. We cuddled in each others arms the rest of the evening quietly enjoying our time together. My heart so heavy and so sad as I knew this would be the last night I would feel her in my arms. I loved her so, if only she felt the same way, if only she would tell me to stay with her. Well if only a lot of things were different, but unfortunately they were not.

To Be Continued...