by lengthylarry
Not much of a story, really not worth taking the time to read with so little taking place, merely a bunch of rambling for so little activity.
The story has potential, but needs more attention to detail. Fill out the plot some more, expand on what happens over "the next few days".
My name is Steven Robert Zeltzer and I am a jewberry I wish I could be my brother to suck me off anu tips
Spelling errors are a huge distraction. Go over you’re righting buy reading it for saying it allowed because sometimes spellcheck doesn't catch a word due to it being a correct word but used incorrectly in the context. Get my drift from my sentence above? Other than that some character development is good. Idk what the sister looks like i’m confused on why someone would detail the winter clothing instead of the scene or the people or tease before the sex or something.
Oh come on!! You can't tell us THAT and then just say that the next few days were fun. You've gotta add more, or make a follow up story.
This turned me on so much I have a big cock aswell would love for my older sister to see it
Just jacked off? Big dissapointment. Think ill skip the rest of his stories
Wow. Just wow. I have a big cock, and I always try to get my big sister to catch my naked when I come out the shower. Once she saw me, but not properly. She didn't get a full view of my massive cock. Any tips?
you really need to delete and rewrite all your stories they are full of errors both spelling and grammar.
too short and no details dose he get to see her nude and feel her up or maybe fuck her
Read 4 of your stories and all the male character does is jack off when does he fuck any of these women?
GREAT Story! I loved it.
I jacked off for my younger sisters and our female cousin.
I've always loved a good incest story...this was a GREAT start. You've got to finish it.