Mysterywriter's Final Spring

"Sure lay it all on me." I was shaken but tried to keep my walls intact.

"Ordinarily I would have you in the operating room at this moment. I would be sawing and chopping as we speak. But since you didn't have that bypass five years ago, no anesthesiologist will put you under. Odds are you will never wake up, and our insurance rates are terrible now. Frankly you can't take an eleven hour operation, and that Deacon is what we are looking at."

"How long?"

"Damn, you do cut to it. I would have expected a list of questions beginning with are you sure, or how do I get a second opinion."

"Stop the tap dancing Doc and lets have it."

"There is no way to tell how long, you have a body that should already have given up. That heart of yours is operating my sheer will alone according to the cardiologist."

"Look get past the malpractice BS S and tell me so I can put my life in order."

Depends on which way the tumor is growing. If it grows up faster than out you will have seizures, they will run anywhere from tiny to grand moll. The grand moll is so severe that it will most likely stop that weak heart of yours.

"And the bottom part?"

"That one is pressing against your brain stem. It is causing all your present symptoms. If it becomes the one to do it, then it will most likely be like turning a switch. Just shut you down one day."

"Well it doesn't sound all that bad."

"True but you didn't ask me what it will be like on the way to the end."

"Do I want to know?"

"Anyone else probably not, but you want to know. On that, I would bet my kids college fund."

"Okay lets do it," I said it looking at the ceiling.

"As the pressure increases on your stem, More balance problems, more double vision, all the body systems will be effected. Everything from your ability to swallow to your ability to expel body waste."

"Now that is an attractive thought," I said it with what I thought was a smile.

"Maybe paralysis, or coma at the very end."

"And if it goes the other way?"

"Best case is the grand moll stops your heart. Worst case you have them uncontrollably till the brains is mush. More coma," She didn't look very professional as she spoke.

"How about we do the surgery?"

"You get someone to put you to sleep, and I will cut you." she said it looking at the floor.

"Will you help me find someone?" I asked it looking into her eyes.

"Yes but not yet. You need to get all the time you can. When you have had enough, come back and we will look."

"Fair enough," I replied. "But how long before the bad shit begins?

"Six months to a year, but that is just a guess it could be significantly more or less."

It was a shock of course but I was used to dealing with tough decisions. I thought I had a pretty good way out if worse came to worse.

I was out of the hospital that afternoon. It took two days for me to decide on the festival trip. I got a late start but I managed to set up a festival almost every week until the next October.

I moved money around from one place to another until I had everything except the house paid off. Since the soon to be ex, had a good job that wasn't going to be a problem. If it was, she could sell the place and move somewhere else. A visit to our friend who had married a lawyer set the wheels for the separation in motion.

It took some convincing but the wife signed the papers. The settlement, which I would never have signed in that form two months before, gave her almost everything I owned. It was all legal since it was made a provision of the separation agreement and future divorce proceedings.

I signed the agreement the day before I left for the festival. That same day I also went to see my farmer friend. Getting the script from my lady doctor wasn't a problem. I told her the same thing I would tell anyone who asked about long range side effects of any drug. I am not going to live long enough for it to matter a whit.

He got the script and I got a hundred of the short tan cigars. The cigars cost more than any Cuban ones, which the doctor's all smoked but they were worth it. One cigar and a couple of shots of bourbon put me to sleep better than any pill. I had to force myself not to reach for a cigar during the long days but I had managed so far at least.

I moved all my junk into the tent then slept in the van. It was more comfortable than sleeping on a tree root or a rock would have been. Sleep had been easier since I began the new regime of bourbon and pot before going to bed.

The Sunday shows were always late starting so I made coffee then toasted a bagel. I worked my way into wakefulness only to discover my usual morning hangover wasn't as bad as some of them were. I looked around for the pillbox with the last of the pills. According to my cardiologist, after I took my last morning pills I would die within an hour. That is a massive exaggeration, but they do try to scare hell out of me. Things are never as bad as they pretend nor as good as I want them to be. I popped those pills with very little trepidation. I had taken a fatalistic approach toward it all.

I was surprised that I hadn't at least seen the ranger truck pass either the night before or that morning. It just never showed though I knew someone was patrolling the park. The ranger in the county park was certainly not the ranger from my last book. The one at the county park appeared to be a nice family oriented lady. I had just caught her bored to tears on Friday night.

The bagel was gone and the coffee cup pretty much empty when I saw the yellow Miata pull into the drive of the camp space. The top was up so I couldn't be sure who the driver might be even though I half expected either the ranger or Dee to show. The thick head of almost white hair slipped from the tiny car. I got to watch her body unwind as she worked her was to a standing position. She was almost as tall as me. That would make her almost 5'11" Probably closer to 5'8". Other than the height her body was pretty unremarkable. Her figure was average for a woman fighting a weight problem. Most women give the fight up after they marry, or turn forty, but she was still in her youth. In other words she had a bit more on the bottom than on the top.

"Good morning Deke," she said it with a smile way to bright to be flashed at a man with a hangover.

"Are you planning to drive that thing?" I asked it because I was feeling snippy that morning, as I did all mornings.

"No, when we leave town my friend Zandy will come for it. I am going to ride with you in that dilapidated van. If you can stand it, I can."

"Okay, I can make room for you I guess."

"So what we gonna do first?" she asked with that youthful enthusiasm any adult finds totally disgusting.

"I'm gonna finish this coffee, then take a shower. Why, do you want to wash my back?" I was kidding but she took it serious.

"Well, this is as good a time as any to get this straight. You are too old." That I had expected. "And the wrong sex." That I hadn't. She just didn't look like a dyke. It took me several seconds to find my tongue.

"First of all it was a joke, though anytime you decide to change sides of the plate you are welcome to do it. I promise I won't try to rape you or try to talk you into it."

"Good, I don't think you could rape me old man, and save your breath on the trying to talk me into changing."

"Fair enough, but if you keep calling me old man, this is going to be miserable trip for us both and I don't have time for a miserable trip. Now did you bring the payment for you passage on this train?"

Without a word she handed me the stack of papers. They were xerox copies of the complete case file. She had definitely paid her freight.

"Is that coffee any good?" She asked it before I started to read.

"I doubt that you are going to like it." I smiled one of those patronizing smiles old farts are famous for.

"You mean because it is strong and black? That is how I drink my coffee."

"Well you are welcome to it. After you pour yours toss in a cup of plain water, then just set it back where you got it." I really should have told her about the filtering system, but hell she was so self assured. I did tell her where she could find the other delta cup. I had taken my complete stash of delta cups from the house. Well all but one, I left the one that the step brat had given me. I left it for her mother as a memory, I guess. Anyway I had five of the cups shaped like the mercury space capsule, tiny at the top and wide at the bottom. In my condition it was the thing for me to use to keep the number and severity of spills to a minimum.

When she poured the coffee, the small particles of ground coffee beans poured with the coffee. "God how do you drink this?" She asked it as she poured the coffee back into the pot. Since I needed more coffee anyway I showed her. I removed the yellow funnel, the one purchased from the auto parts store, from the crack in the picnic table. Then I tore a half sheet from the paper towel from the roll. It made a sort of lining in the funnel by folding the towel. Coffee poured through the arrangement left the ground in the paper towel. The two oversized cups emptied the pot. I didn't bother to refill it or wash it. I just sat it aside for later attention'

"So what we gonna do first?" Dee asked it with the typical youngster's lack of patience. Dee must have been twenty five or so, and yet she had all the enthusiasm of a teenager. She was 'perky' as my ex would say. Usually followed by, "Aint that just disgusting."

"I am gonna sit right here and commune with nature till I finish this cup of coffee, then I am gonna go for that shower. After which if I haven't drowned, I will give the next move some thought. She didn't say another word while I stared at the lake. I gave the last few days some thought and decided that I needed to find a way to sell more CDs. I just couldn't think of anything at all though. It wasn't really important to me, I would just have felt a certain satisfaction in seeing them fly out of the burner and into someone's waiting hands.

I just couldn't maintain a thought with Dee sitting across from me. She was too pretty and too insistent in her silence. She stared at me while I looked out on the lake with my coffee cup in hand. It reminded me of my step daughter telling her mother over breakfast once, "Mom do something, he is staring at me. Meaning me of course."

"Are you writing?" she asked.

"What?"

"You are so intent in thought, I figure you are working out a problem of some kind."

"Nothing so glamorous. I am trying to figure out how to make more money so that I can keep going." It was a lie only in that I didn't need the money to keep going. I had the ole Visa card and no intention of ever paying it off. She didn't need to know that part. I felt a little bad about it, but what the hell Visa had gotten me at least once over the years. I figured it was just payback with interest. Truth is I knew that I was ripping them off, but hell I figured that honor was for the living.

"So what do we do today?" She asked with her youthful enthusiasm showing again.

"I have a festival to attend. You can do whatever you want."

"I'm going with you."

"I promise you it is going to be dull.

"I need to go to at least one. Can I ask you a couple of questions now."

"Sure but wait till I get out of the shower. I went inside the tent to find the box with the square drawn on it. That box held my clothes such as they were. From the box I removed a folded up pair of pants exactly like the ones I had on. I removed a lightweight sweatshirt exactly like the one that hung from my body. Well not exactly the color was different.

I left the tent on a route taking me directly to the bathhouse. Once inside I was relieved to find it heated. There wasn't much worse than taking a shower in a cold room, unless it was a cold shower in a cold room. The shower was warm and so was the room. If it hadn't been for the terribly uncomfortable mat on the floor, I would have been fine. The damn thing hurt my feet in even the short time I stood on it. Probably the county's way of saving water.

After the shower I brushed my hair and noted with satisfaction that it was getting long. I had always wanted long hair but had never been able to manage it. Nobody seemed to care that my hair was long and bushy on the circuit. It might have even added to my mad writer look.

An hour later found us at the Sunday part of the festival. It was supposed to be the easier day but for some reason it was much busier then Saturday had been. It took me a couple hours to figure out why. I had been for a cup of coffee and was walking back when I saw Dee leaning over the table discussing a novel with a potential customer. I noticed with some concern that her cleavage had grown. Or at least it appeared so when I walked up. I waited for the table to clear before I asked.

"How come your breasts look so much bigger today."

"Different bra, and blouse," She replied. "Do you approve?" There was that little girl look which was totally out of place in that situation.

"It doesn't matter what I think, you seem to be drawing in customers with it."

"I will take that as a compliment. Now that things are finally slowing down, how about you take a closer look at the police report and tell me what you think?"

"If I split my attention, I will miss something." I thought it was quite logical.

"I'll take care of anyone who comes up, you just read." She smiled as she threw her chest out with a chuckle.

I nodded then opened the cardboard folder which she had thrust at me. The prelims I tried to avoid but it shook down this way. June Silver decided she wasn't spending enough quality time with her son, so she borrowed a tent and planned the overnight camping trip.

The county park had a special weekend rate that last weekend of the season. The county's plan was to shut the camping down for the winter after that weekend. June Silver arrived at the campground early because she had no idea how to erect the tent.

Fortunately for her one of her fellow campers was willing to help her read the directions. The four of them two adults and two children made short work of the tent. She and her son cooked hot dogs over the campfire Later that night she and her son made the chocolate marsh mellow cookies, which no camping trip in the last ten years is complete without.

The rape occurred pretty much as everyone had said. Right down to the rapist making he beg for it to save her son's life. At least that is what both she and the boy said. The cop skeptic in me had me wondering if the child wouldn't tell what his mother wanted. I decided that it was way too early to begin doubting her story.

The details of the rape were far too graphic for my taste. The crime was horrific no doubt about it. She wasn't beaten because she was going along to protect her son. It was indeed admirable of her. It also saved her a few bruises no doubt.

When Dee got the file for me she got a couple of things more than I bargained for. She had the medical report on June Silver. It seemed that June did not have any vaginal damage. I read back over her report of the incident. Someone, usually a female cop, always asks the victim some really personal questions. Questions about the biological aspects of the rapist and the event itself. They usually try to begin by saying that the body and the mind aren't always in sink. Is it possible that your body reacted positively to the event without your mental participation. In June Silver's case no one asked her.

However in her description of the Rapist she admitted that he was larger than average "in that way" she informed the investigator. Given that fact alone, and the nature of the event, I would have expected some tearing of the tissue. Well, I thought. I suppose it is time to do some checking on Miss Silver.

Since I was sure the detectives had spotted the same things I had, I wondered why their had been no mention of it in the follow up reports.

"Okay Dee, who the hell is Silver?" I asked it looking her dead in the eye.

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I am not the shiniest penny in the stack but I can spot a put up when I see it. So who is she that everyone is tiptoeing around.? Why is she someone that has got you out showing your boobs so that I will keep you around?"

"I was telling you the truth, sort of. The festival thing will make some interesting articles, but yeah I am hoping you will look at this."

"Ah why do you care? Odds are I won't be able to work it out. The cops have the best chance to solve this kind of thing. They are networked all over the place. And why would even that make a story?"

"The cops aren't going to look at it hard because they don't want to know what really happened. Not if it is different than June says."

"We are still down to, why is that?"

"Okay, all of that is simple. You are not from around here which is why you don't know what a big deal it is. June's grand father was a US Senator for about all his life. Her step father is the sitting Governor and may be the next president of the United States."

"You don't mean law and order Abe?" I asked cringing.

"You got it. Nobody around here is gonna look at this because even I know her story stinks."

"No it doesn't stink, it just has some inconsistencies, but so does every rape. So why me?"

"At first it was because you were a stranger who didn't know enough not to go poking into it. You are supposed to be a crime writer, so I figured what the hell. Then I did some checking after you left, before I decided to really do this."

"And what did you find out my little spook?" It was humorous at the moment. I didn't have Abe Storm on my ass yet."

"I found out that you wrote 'Lust and Murder in STX.'"

"So what, you never heard it?"

"No, but I found the review and the newspaper article on google. You and that other retired cop found a serial killer nobody even knew existed. I expect you can find out the truth about June."

"What is the truth about June?" I asked it because I thought she might know.

"Trust me Deke, If I knew I wouldn't need you. I would write it whether I caught hell for it or not. If I didn't, my dad would never forgive me."

"Good for you, I guess." I didn't smile because there seemed to be more that I didn't know. The show was over so I didn't try to begin any long conversations. I closed that book for a while but we both knew it would be open again and soon.

"So, how about I take you to dinner?" She was trying to make nice and I knew it. What I didn't know was whether I was going to throw her out on her ear or not. If she had kept Silver's identity a secret for some purpose other than getting me hooked on the mystery, then I was gonna boot her ass out that very night.

"Okay on the dinner, but we need to get a couple of things straight before we go to the campground."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because there may be just one of us going." We left her car locked and in the parking lot of the farmers market. There would be a locked gate but no guarantee that the car would be there in the morning. She was a good sport about it, or the car had ten thousand miles on it and she was ready for a new one anyway. Okay, I was being a little hard on her, but hell it was easy she had everything.

She directed me on a ten mile drive out into the country. I let her stew about what she had to do to stay part of it all. I refused to talk about it. Instead I made her sweat. The restaurant wasn't worth the ten mile drive, let alone the thirty five bucks she paid. Yes I let her pay.

The restaurant turned out to be a chain steak house. I expected that anyone else would have enjoyed the food. In my case it was just a waste of money. I would have been just as happy with pop's diner somewhere on the side of the highway and it would have cost Dee about half as much.