All Comments on 'Naughty Neighbour Ch. 03'

Gave it 2* instead of 1*!!!!

What a pile of shit. Too many "Babes" and "Big Boys"

I like the story, but you really need to pay attention to the fact that you go from past tense to present tense, even in the middle of a paragraph. Present tense verbs should only be used for two reasons: 1) narrating a story as it happens from a third person perspective (not one of the characters); 2) only as part of the active dialogue (the part between the quotes). You say this is a true story, therefore you should write with verb usage that shows it as something that happened in the past -- not something that is happening as you tell the story. I am only trying to help your writing, and the flow of the story.

Sorry, again this story is going backward. Simply awful far too course and frankly low-level crap. I assume in real life you are a dustbin man! 2*